Blog

Long Island counselor helping couples before getting married.

Long Island marriage counselor Chana Pfeifer is helping couples before getting married…

The key to a successful marriage is finding the right person (for you). But how do you know if it’s right for sure before you walk down the aisle?

That’s where premarital counseling comes in. These are services for couples who want to make sure their relationship is off to a good start before they commit for the long-term.

Here’s how premarital counseling can help couples thinking about getting married:

1. Learn to communicate effectively.

One of the most important things in a relationship is communication. But it’s not always easy to communicate effectively; we all know how excruciating it can be not being understood by your partner. Counselors can help you learn how to communicate with one other so that you can avoid misunderstandings and jump back from arguments quickly and without resentment!

2. Resolve any on-going conflicts.

Even the happiest of couples argue from time to time. But if you’re constantly fighting, it’s a sign that something is wrong and it’s not being resolved. Counselors can help mediate an argument so you can resolve your differences and move on from the disagreement without causing more damage to the relationship.

3. Set realistic marriage expectations.

It’s important to have realistic expectations for your relationship. Otherwise, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment! Counselors can help you understand and express what you both expect from the marriage so that you can adjust your expectations accordingly, and be on the same page. They can help you set financial goals, decide how to raise your children, and figure out where you want to live. By planning for a successful future, you can make sure that your marriage gets off to a good start.

4. Mentally prepare for the wedding itself.

Wedding planning can be stressful, and pre-marital couples therapy can help you get through it. A counselor will help you figure out what’s important to you and your partner on the big day. You can clarify who you want (or not want) to invite, what will go on, where it will take place, when and why you want to.

If you’re considering getting married, counselors can help you prepare for a lifetime of happiness. By getting counseling before you tie the knot, you can avoid many of the problems that can ruin a marriage.

If you’re not sure you’re ready for marriage, counseling can help you figure it out. A therapist will ask you questions about your relationship and what you’re expecting from marriage. They’ll also give you some time to think about your decision so that you can be sure you’re making the right choice.

Counseling can help you communicate better, resolve conflicts, understand one other better, set realistic expectations, and plan for a successful future.

Helping couples before getting married – if you want to make sure your relationship is off to a good start, consider getting premarital counseling from Long Island marriage therapist Chana Pfeifer, LCSW.

Imago relationship therapy for couples: new ways to communicate.

Imago relationship therapy for couples: learn new ways to communicate.

You won’t always know what your partner needs, nor can they fully know what you need without communicating it.

Through Imago Relationship Therapy sessions with Chana, couples will learn new (and affective) ways to communicate so that both partners’ realities can be fully expressed and understood.

When Long Island couples sit in a therapy session, they will engage in Imago Dialogue.

Here is an example of how conversational dialogue in Imago Relationship Therapy works.

This type of dialogue can be applied to appreciations, like in this video, and also for dealing with disagreements. It can be used for couples, but really for any type of relationship, romantic or not.

“Am I Hearing You Correctly?” Imago Relationship Therapy

Here’s Long Island couple takes cues from social worker Chana Pfeifer on how to use Imago Relationship Therapy techniques to effectively listen to one another. The video, “Am I Hearing You Correctly?” is about receiving.

This type of therapy teaches couples to lead with compassion and communicate their needs while not blaming one another for the problems in the relationship. Couples are guided through the process of learning ways of expressing themselves so that things become better for both involved.

Altogether, Imago relationship therapy teaches couples how to:
  • examine each childhood upbringing & how this has formed their ‘Imago’
  • resolve conflict by understanding/empathizing each’s needs/desires
  • create a successful and gratifying plan for the future for you as a couple

Contact Chana Pfeifer, LCSW for more information.

Like Chana on Facebook.

Counseling To Help Women Suffering From Postpartum Depression

Postpartum depression is a serious and often misunderstood condition that occurs to some women after childbirth.

The postpartum period generally includes the first 4 – 6 weeks after birth, but PPD can also develop during pregnancy and up to 1 year after giving birth, so don’t discount your feelings if they’re happening outside of the typical postpartum period.

Many women don’t seek out postpartum depression counseling because they aren’t sure how counseling could help them or if it’s worth the cost.

Your body and mind go through many changes during and after pregnancy. If you feel empty, emotionless, sad most of the time, or you feel like you don’t love or care for your baby, you might have postpartum depression.

How do I know if I need counseling for postpartum depression?

Here’s a list of some signs and symptoms of postpartum depression:

  • feeling sad most of the time / cry often
  • insomnia
  • loss of appetite
  • intense irritability
  • worrying excessively or feeling on edge
  • difficulty bonding with baby
  • lack of interest in your baby
  • thoughts of hurting your baby
  • feeling like you don’t want your baby
  • trouble with concentration / memory
  • you don’t enjoy activities that used to make you happy
  • thoughts of suicide or wishing you were dead

Some people feel ashamed about their symptoms or feel they are terrible parents for feeling the way they do. You’re not the only person who feels this way, and it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person.

Counseling services are available if you feel that you need them. If you experience postpartum depression (PPD), then the best thing for you to do is speak with someone who can help.

Counseling can be helpful in many ways:

● Helping women deal with their fears
● Discussing how they’ll handle responsibilities
● Teaching new mothers to care for themselves & their children

What should I expect at my first appointment?

Your therapist will spend time getting to know you. Your counselor may ask questions about whether or not certain things happened during pregnancy—did anything stand out? Did anything happen during labor itself? How has life been since becoming a parent? Do any particular issues come up for either one of them?

These are all important questions that help therapists form an idea of what direction they might take when helping clients deal with postpartum depression symptoms such as anxiety attacks, loss of interest in life, sleeplessness, etc.

If you’re struggling with PPD, a counselor can help you learn how to cope with these feelings and communicate better with others in your life. Counseling can also help those who care about someone dealing with PPD by teaching them how best to support their loved one during this difficult time.

Counseling is an important way to address depression.

Counseling is important in treating postpartum depression because it helps you learn how to cope with your feelings and manage your time, energy, relationships and responsibilities. It can also help you develop strategies that will keep the symptoms of postpartum depression from interfering with your life or the lives of your family members.

If you or someone you know is struggling with postpartum depression, contact Chana Pfeifer, LCSW about getting help right away.

Why premarital counseling helps any relationship.

~ why premarital counseling helps any relationship ~

Research shows that people who share the same values, communicate effectively, and have a good friendship are more likely to enjoy their romantic relationship and build a marriage that lasts.

Premarital counseling could help you and your partner explore where you stand on important issues.

A couple may already know that they want a family/children, however a counselor can help you discuss your vision of family and what you each expect from each other as partners and parents.

Another couple may wonder how to best manage a career while still making their marriage / love a priority.

Some are coming into the relationship with kids and need to discuss strategies for blending families.

No matter what your unique situation is, premarital counseling is an opportunity to get to know your significant other even better.

It’s all in defining the details. It’s about becoming aware of what our partner envisions in a life together with you. It’s also about defining what you want in a marriage. This is why premarital counseling helps any relationship. It gives you a chance to map out a foundation for the two of you, to live a fulfilling life together.

Another great benefit to premarital counseling is that you’ll reduce the amount of disagreements you may have later! Learn effective communication techniques with Imago therapist Chana Pfeifer. 

Contact Chana Pfeifer, LCSW for setting up an appointment in West Hempstead, NY or online.

Individual & couples therapy provided in a confidential & supportive atmosphere.

Long Island Couples Therapist Chana Pfeifer – Communication Techniques

Communication issues are the most common problem that cause couples to seek out a therapist.

Chana Pfeifer, LCSW, helps couples to communicate effectively with Imago relationship therapy.

Learn Effective Communication Skills

Couples often have difficulty expressing their emotions and feelings to one another without it leading to argument and resentment. Counseling gives couples a safe, neutral place to express & develop their communication skills to better understand each other’s thoughts and feelings.

You can work together to cultivate effective communication and compromise on the differences you and your partner may have. With the professional guidance of a licensed counselor, couples can develop adaptive strategies to resolve conflicts and address challenges together with confidence.

When in couples therapy, you will learn dialogue techniques that encourages true communication and validation.

If you’re looking for the best relationship therapy that can help improve your marriage, Imago relationship therapy is a good place to start.

If you feel that you keep fighting about the same issue with no resolution in sight, contact Chana Pfeifer for more information on couples therapy.

Counseling can help you learn more about your partner’s communication style and how they handle conflict. This knowledge can be invaluable as you navigate the ups and downs of life together.

It can identify potential areas of conflict. No relationship is perfect, and all couples will face challenges at some point. This knowledge can help you develop strategies for dealing with these issues if they arise in the future.

Here’s a short clip of how Imago therapy works. It’s called, “Am I hearing you correctly?” WATCH

A Long Island couple takes cues from social worker Chana Pfeifer on how to use Imago Relationship Therapy techniques to effectively speak and hear one another. This video post is about receiving information.

13 Premarital Counseling Questions from a Couples Therapist in NY

13 Premarital Counseling Questions from a Couples Therapist in NY

When coming in for premarital counseling, questions will be asked that will be unique to you, your relationship, and your expectations of your marriage.

These premarital counseling questions will help you & your partner facilitate conversations about important relationship topics that may cause problems later on if you’re not clear about where you both stand.

Marriage can be defined in different ways and our perception of family is based upon our past experiences, which is most likely different from what our partners have experienced.

The 13 premarital questions listed below are just a starting point in conversation:
  1. What do you appreciate most about your partner?
  2. How do you express love and affection?
  3. Do you agree with your partner’s lifestyle choices?
  4. Where do you see yourselves living and creating your life?
  5. How important are your religious / spiritual beliefs to you?
  6. Are you on the same page about having children?
  7. How do you relate to your family / your partner’s family?
  8. How will you manage finances (joint or separate)?
  9. How will you prioritize careers in relation to family / marriage?
  10. What are your expectations around intimacy and sex?
  11. What does marriage and commitment mean to you?
  12. What does betrayal and infidelity mean to you?
  13. How will you maintain your personal identity within the marriage? How much time do you expect to spend with each other? How will you spend your free time together and apart?
If you have more premarital counseling questions, contact Chana Pfeifer today.

Follow The Happier Me on Facebook

Managing stress from a divorce & ways that counseling can help.

Managing Stress From A Divorce: finding healthy ways to cope with counseling.

There are so many things to think about when going through a divorce, and it can be difficult to find the strength to take any action. Even worse, you may feel like you’re completely alone in your pain because nobody really understands what you’re going through.

During this time, counseling can be a lifeline for many people. It’s not just about talking through your problems; it’s about connecting with someone who understands and can help you figure out where to go from here.

Counseling provides support, new perspectives on old issues, and strategies for moving forward into a brighter future.

Separation is never easy. It’s very painful to end a marriage, and it can be even more difficult when there are children involved in the breakup. But remember that you’re not alone—lots of people are going through this right now, and lots of people have gone through it before you!

It’s also important to remember that it’s not your fault. Divorce is never any one person’s “fault.” Often there are things we could have done differently or better in the relationships that may have led us down the path toward separation/divorce. It can help to talk about these regrets with someone who understands what you’re going through.

You’re going through a big transition, and it can be difficult to see the positive side of things. You’re leaving behind your life as you knew it and creating a new one that’s different from what you expected. You might feel like no matter what you do, nothing is getting better or easier. But with time and patience, you’ll find healthy ways to cope and ultimately heal.

You are not alone. You may feel like you are, but you’re not. This is a common experience and many have gone through this same experience and have managed to move on with their lives. It’s important that you understand that even though it feels like your life will never be the same again and that you will never be able to go back to who you were before, it’s possible that one day those feelings will fade away and become part of your past.

Accepting the pain can help you feel better faster. It’s important to remember that for many people, feeling this pain is a normal part of the healing process. In fact, you may never completely accept what has happened in your marriage. However, acceptance can help you move forward and find peace.

Acceptance doesn’t mean that what happened is okay—it doesn’t mean that you have to like it or forgive the other person. Acceptance means recognizing reality and moving on with your life despite what happened in the past.

Take steps toward what you need for self-care. Some examples of self-care include getting out of the house if possible. Being active is good for both your mind and body, so consider going on walks, running errands or even going to an arcade! Or eating healthy foods that make you feel energized. Make sure to eat enough protein to help manage any stress or negative emotions, as well as vegetables that are rich in vitamins A and C as they help strengthen your immune system.

Starting over is scary, but it’s exciting too. It’s difficult to let go of the idea that you will always be with your ex-spouse, in part because you’ve probably spent a lot of time and energy defining yourself as “a couple.” After the divorce is final, however, there are new ways to define yourself and your future—and yes, that can feel scary at first. But it can also be exciting; for example:

You have the chance to start fresh without carrying baggage from your previous relationship into another one later on! This gives you an opportunity to practice being single again (which isn’t easy but also isn’t impossible!)

Counseling helps you remember that everything will be alright when you don’t feel like it will be. Speaking with a counselor can help you process emotions and feelings in a controlled environment without having to worry about what your ex is thinking or feeling.

A therapist will provide an outside opinion about what is going on and what steps you should take next. They can also provide support for any mental health issues that arise from having gone through such an experience.

Consider finding a therapist to help you through this difficult process. Get in touch with Chana Pfeifer, LCSW here!

Dealing with the Emotional Impact of Divorce

Dealing with the Emotional Impact of Divorce with Chana Pfeifer, LCSW

Divorce has its own unique impact on you, your children, and even other family members and friends.

Staying strong during this difficult time is possible. Counseling is a resource that can help you deal with the emotional impact of divorce.

Counseling gives you the space to open up.

Talking with a professional therapist gives you a safe place to share your feelings. You can talk about anything you want and not have to worry about your counselor judging you. Counseling gives you the space to talk about emotions you may not usually express in everyday life, such as anger or sadness. It’s hard to pinpoint exactly what makes us feel better after a divorce, but sometimes just being able to let off steam is really important!

Seeing a licensed social worker provides confidentiality.

You don’t have to worry about sharing personal details with people who may not be so understanding or private, like family / friends. When talking with Chana Pfeifer, LCSW, everything you say is 100% confidential.

A counselor can help you restore your confidence and self-esteem.

The emotional impact of divorce can take a toll on your confidence, self-esteem, and general sense of self-worth. When talking with a counselor, you begin to restore areas in your life that bring you joy. Whether it’s starting a new hobby, resurrecting an old hobby, or setting a new goal for yourself, once you start achieving things on your own, you’ll notice that your self-worth grows as well. Raising your self-esteem will give you a more positive outlook on life overall.

Counselors will help you evaluate the role that your own behavior played in the relationship breakdown.

Gain insight into how certain behaviors may have contributed to the divorce, so that you can learn from them now and avoid making similar mistakes in future relationships.

Counseling helps you develop coping skills to deal with stress and anxiety.

Coping skills provide an outlet for your feelings instead of suppressing them or letting them build up inside you. They can include things like meditation, singing, exercise, journaling or even just taking a walk in nature.

When we suppress our emotions, it builds up inside us like steam in a pressure cooker, until eventually, we explode. When we let our emotions out through healthy outlets like talk therapy or exercise class, then the steam is released without causing any damage!

Counseling can help you resolve any conflicts that arise between you and your ex while minimizing the impact on your children.

Counselors understand the importance of communication in a divorce situation, especially when it comes to dealing with sensitive topics like custody arrangements and child support payments. They can also provide guidance on how to communicate effectively with your ex so that any agreements reached are enforceable by the court.

In addition to helping parents navigate conflict resolution, counselors can also help them develop positive relationships with each other’s families and friends. This is especially important if there is an existing bond between your spouse’s mother or father, who may be willing to assist in raising the kids while they’re at school during the day or getting ready for bed at night.

Remember, you don’t have to do it alone.

If you’re struggling with the emotional impact of divorce, professional counseling can help you move forward in a healthy way. With the right support, you can learn how to manage stress and anxiety, develop positive coping skills for dealing with difficult emotions—including depression—and even make peace with your ex as you work together to raise your children.

Reach out to get the help that will give you a bright future after divorce.

How a Mental Health Counselor Can Help You Through Getting a Divorce

Chana Pfeifer: How a Mental Health Counselor Can Help You Through Getting a Divorce

Getting a divorce is one of the most difficult things a person can go through. It’s hard enough to cope with the emotional stress, but when you add in the financial and legal challenges, it can feel overwhelming.

A mental health counselor can help you through this tough time by providing support and guidance.

If you’re considering divorce, or are in the middle of the process, here are a few ways a mental health counselor can help:

1. Dealing with the Emotional Impact

The emotional impact of divorce can be devastating. You may feel like you’ve failed, or that your life is falling apart. A counselor can help you deal with these feelings and start to rebuild your self-esteem.

2. Managing Stress

The stress of divorce can be overwhelming. A counselor can help you find healthy ways to cope with stress and anxiety. They can also teach you relaxation techniques to help you stay calm during this difficult time.

3. Working Through Conflict

Conflict is often a big part of divorce. A counselor can help you learn how to communicate effectively with your ex-spouse, and how to resolve conflicts without resorting to aggression or violence.

4. Coping With Change

Divorce brings about many changes, both big and small. A counselor can help you adjust to these changes and find ways to cope with them in a healthy way.

5. Building a Support Network

One of the biggest challenges after the end of a marriage is rebuilding your support system. A counselor can help you connect with other people who are going through similar experiences, and can offer advice on how to build new relationships.

6. Planning for the Future

After divorce, it’s important to take some time to focus on your own needs and goals. A counselor can help you create a plan for your future, and can offer advice on how to move forward in a positive way.

7. Finding Closure

For many people, divorce is a journey to finding closure. A counselor can help you work through your feelings and find a sense of peace after the end of your marriage.

8. Helping Your Children Cope

If you have children, it’s important to help them through the divorce as well. A counselor can offer guidance on how to talk to your kids about divorce, and can provide support as they adjust to this new reality.

9. Dealing With Financial Challenges

Divorce can also bring financial challenges. A counselor can help you create a budget, and can offer advice on how to manage your finances during this difficult time.

10. Taking Care of Yourself

The process of divorce can be emotionally and physically exhausting. It’s important to take care of yourself during this time, and a counselor can help you find ways to do that. They can offer guidance on healthy coping mechanisms, and can help you create a plan to take care of your physical and mental health.

If you’re considering divorce, or are in the middle of the process, reach out to a mental health counselor for support.

Chana Pfeifer can help you deal with the emotional challenges of divorce, and can offer guidance on how to cope with this difficult time.

Follow Chana Pfeifer on Facebook.