Premarital Counseling Questions Couples Should Talk About:

Below are a few premarital counseling questions couples should talk about regarding: Property / Land / Estate Rights

What happens when I put my new spouse’s name on my real property? What happens when I don’t?

Who’s home will you or your new spouse live in?

How will this be handled if you are the first to die and it is legally your house?

How will it be handled if you are the second to die and it is not legally your house?

Do you really want to trust adult step-children to protect your right to live somewhere?

How can the right to live somewhere that is not your property be secured and protected?

Is your pre-marital retirement account 100% yours if you get married?

How do you protect your retirement accounts for your named beneficiaries or children?

Is it possible to split beneficiary designations on retirement accounts? How?

Can you give your new spouse the income from your retirement account but keep the principal for your children?

How can you benefit your new spouse with your retirement accounts without risking your new spouse changing the beneficiary designations?

What happens to the furniture in your house that belonged to your deceased spouse?

Are you really going to depend on verbal agreements with a deceased person to protect you in all these matters?

Who will hold your property Power of Attorney, the new spouse or an adult child?

There’s a myriad of things to go over before getting married and a great place to work out these issues is in premarital counseling.

Get clarity around your expectations / thoughts surrounding things like:

  • Children
  • Home type and location
  • Career paths
  • Financial Goals
  • Leisure life
  • Religion
  • Boundaries with family

Contact Chana Pfeifer – she is currently seeing clients through telehealth virtual platforms and in-person (socially-distanced).

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5 Financial Topics To Consider Before Getting Married

Even though getting married can be one of the happiest moments of our lives, it should also be a reminder that marriage is a legal union as much as it is a romantic one. Below are 5 financial topics to consider before getting married:

It’s important to consider the financial implications before tying the knot.

Giving consideration to these issues before the wedding makes things easier for the relationship. Through pre-marital counseling, you have a chance to discuss all the aspects of marriage and what you both want out of it. It’s wise to plan ahead. Consulting with a pre-marital counselor is always a good idea to make sure all your bases are covered, so that you can go into marriage confident and assured.

Here’s 5 financial topics to consider before getting married:

1. Prenuptial Agreement: This is probably one of the most common subjects to consider before getting married. A prenuptial agreement, or postnuptial if signed after the wedding ceremony, defines what happens upon divorce, instead of the state. Common topics covered in these agreements are how assets are divided upon divorce, protection of family inheritances from past relationships, separation of debt that is not jointly shared, spousal support, and characterization of incomes and property if they vary greatly between the spouses. Spouses considering a prenuptial, or premarital agreement should consult with a family law attorney to ensure it is prepared correctly and complies with the relevant laws in your state.

2. Money: It’s important to make sure that you and your soon-to-be spouse have an agreement with regard to money and finances. Many choose to have joint bank accounts because it makes it easier to track finances, while others choose to keep funds separate to maintain their financial independence. Having joint accounts requires close communication to keep each other abreast of spending. It also makes it convenient for shared expenses such as a mortgage or insurance, and it makes access to an account easier should a spouse suddenly pass away. On the other hand, keeping accounts separate makes it less difficult in the event of a divorce and each person has immediate access to funds. However, you’ll have to determine how to split shared expenses if you go this route. No matter how finances are handled, communication is key.

3: Taxes: Getting married can have a significant effect on your taxes. There are a few decisions couples need to make before the big day. For example, married couples can incur a tax penalty, sometimes paying more than they would if they were single. This happens when the tax brackets, standard deductions and other elements of the tax code don’t double upon marriage. This means that you may actually pay more than you would if you were single. If the salaries of both individuals vary greatly, then combining the incomes may result in a lower tax bracket, therefore, saving you money. But, when incomes are very similar, it’s possible you may incur a higher tax obligation by filing jointly. There are essentially two options for married couples: ‘married filing jointly’ and ‘married filing separately’. Rarely do couples save money when choosing to file ‘married filing separately’. Consulting a CPA or other tax professional is wise to determine which option best fits your financial situation.

4. Estate Planning: While this is often done once married, it’s definitely something to consider or give thought to prior to. Have you and your future spouse considered what should happen with your estate in the future? There are a variety of key documents that can ensure your loved ones are taken care of in the event that something happens to you. It’s critical to plan your estate with your significant other in mind by selecting beneficiaries, determining shared and separate assets, and creating health care directives. The four most important estate planning documents are Last Will and Testament, Living Trust, Advanced Directive and Power of Attorney.

5. Name Change: Of the many changes we experience when we get married, and one of the most visible, is a change of last name. While one does not legally need to change their name, it is something to consider and discuss before the wedding. First, you must have the new name on the marriage certificate. Second, you’ll need to change your identification documents such as your Social Security card, driver’s license or state-issued ID, vehicle title and registration, passport, bank accounts, etc. In order to do this you will need to present the marriage certificate with your new last name. Then, use your new last name on everything you do moving forward.

Marriage is as much a commitment as it is a legal contract, so it’s critical to consider all aspects before getting married.
Rights and responsibilities vary by state, but the above-mentioned financial topics to consider before getting married are important for everyone to think about ahead of time. Consulting with a family law attorney and pre-marital counselor can put your mind at ease, reach out today for an appointment with Chana Pfeifer, LCSW in Nassau County, NY.

Chana Pfeifer is currently seeing clients through telehealth virtual platforms and in-person (socially-distanced).

13 Premarital Counseling Questions from a Couples Therapist in NY

13 Premarital Counseling Questions from a Couples Therapist in NY

When coming in for premarital counseling, questions will be asked that will be unique to you, your relationship, and your expectations of your marriage.

These premarital counseling questions will help you & your partner facilitate conversations about important relationship topics that may cause problems later on if you’re not clear about where you both stand.

Marriage can be defined in different ways and our perception of family is based upon our past experiences, which is most likely different from what our partners have experienced.

The 13 premarital questions listed below are just a starting point in conversation:
  1. What do you appreciate most about your partner?
  2. How do you express love and affection?
  3. Do you agree with your partner’s lifestyle choices?
  4. Where do you see yourselves living and creating your life?
  5. How important are your religious / spiritual beliefs to you?
  6. Are you on the same page about having children?
  7. How do you relate to your family / your partner’s family?
  8. How will you manage finances (joint or separate)?
  9. How will you prioritize careers in relation to family / marriage?
  10. What are your expectations around intimacy and sex?
  11. What does marriage and commitment mean to you?
  12. What does betrayal and infidelity mean to you?
  13. How will you maintain your personal identity within the marriage? How much time do you expect to spend with each other? How will you spend your free time together and apart?
If you have more premarital counseling questions, contact Chana Pfeifer today.

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