Why do couples fight?

Why do couples fight?

According to Dr. Harville Hendrix, (one of the founders of Imago Relationship Therapy along with his wife Helen LaKelly Hunt), after looking at couples for 8 years, came to a conclusion that they fight for a core reason:

“They experience a disconnection from each other and want the connection back, so they project the responsibility of that disconnection onto each other; each couple then defends against taking responsibility for it, which of course increases the disconnection. So fundamentally, it’s sort of a paradox that couples fight in order to get connected, and the fighting actually results in having them become more disconnected. Basically, couples fight because of a disconnect and they don’t like it.”

If you live on Long Island and would like more information on Imago Relationship Therapy, contact Chana Pfeifer, LCSW.

You can also call Chana at (516) 592-1107.

Offices in both Cedarhurst & West Hempstead, New York

COUNSELING FOR COUPLES IN A SAFE, SUPPORTIVE PLACE

If your relationship is distressed, a Long Island marriage counselor can provide you with a greater understanding of your relationship, a way to use your challenges as the opportunities they are for deeper connection, and a road map for repair.

Long Island Couples Therapist Chana Pfeifer – Communication Techniques

Communication issues are the most common problem that cause couples to seek out a therapist.

Chana Pfeifer, LCSW, helps couples to communicate effectively with Imago relationship therapy.

Learn Effective Communication Skills

Couples often have difficulty expressing their emotions and feelings to one another without it leading to argument and resentment. Counseling gives couples a safe, neutral place to express & develop their communication skills to better understand each other’s thoughts and feelings.

You can work together to cultivate effective communication and compromise on the differences you and your partner may have. With the professional guidance of a licensed counselor, couples can develop adaptive strategies to resolve conflicts and address challenges together with confidence.

When in couples therapy, you will learn dialogue techniques that encourages true communication and validation.

If you’re looking for the best relationship therapy that can help improve your marriage, Imago relationship therapy is a good place to start.

If you feel that you keep fighting about the same issue with no resolution in sight, contact Chana Pfeifer for more information on couples therapy.

Counseling can help you learn more about your partner’s communication style and how they handle conflict. This knowledge can be invaluable as you navigate the ups and downs of life together.

It can identify potential areas of conflict. No relationship is perfect, and all couples will face challenges at some point. This knowledge can help you develop strategies for dealing with these issues if they arise in the future.

Here’s a short clip of how Imago therapy works. It’s called, “Am I hearing you correctly?” WATCH

A Long Island couple takes cues from social worker Chana Pfeifer on how to use Imago Relationship Therapy techniques to effectively speak and hear one another. This video post is about receiving information.

Marriage Counseling in Nassau County, NY

Marriage Counseling in Nassau County, NY with Chana Pfeifer, LCSW

Marriage Counseling in Nassau County, NY

One of the most important aspects of Imago relationship therapy is that it’s not about being right, proving a point, or winning an arguement.

It’s about actively listening, being heard, validation, and being in tune with our partner.

The idea behind Imago therapy is that two people can have completely different views, and it doesn’t mean that one is right and the other is wrong.

To assist the transformation of all relationships, IMAGO RELATIONSHIP THERAPY was created, which is applicable to couples, families, parents, and professionals who seek to be more effective in their life and relationships.

Learn how to connect through differences and become more present in all of your relationships.

When using Imago therapy in marriage counseling, you will learn dialogue techniques that encourages true communication and validation. If you’re looking for the best relationship therapy that can help improve your marriage for the long term, Imago counseling is a good bet.

Get Help From a Licensed Relationship Counselor

Chana Pfeifer LCSW Long IslandFOR OVER 22 YEARS, CHANA PFEIFER HAS BEEN HELPING INDIVIDUALS & COUPLES IN NY ACHIEVE GREATER COPING SKILLS TO MANAGE LIFE’S STRESSES & CHALLENGES.

(516) 592-1107 – Phone, Video, and In-Person Appointments

 

 

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Interested in marriage counseling in Nassau County? Chana assists couples with many types of disconnect:

  • Communication Issues
  • Emotional Neglect
  • Stop celebrating milestones
  • Lack of Romance
  • Resentment
  • Too Much Stress
  • Divorce
  • Infidelity
  • Not Having Fun Together
  • Parenting
  • Pre-Marital Check-Ins
  • Dealing In-Laws
  • Grief / Death of Loved Ones
  • Depression / Anxiety

Whatever form your relationship issues may take, talking with a counselor can help you ease the burden of your emotions. Contact Chana Pfiefer to set up an appointment for individual and/or couples counseling in West Hempstead, NY.

Marriage Counseling in Nassau County, New York

Nassau County is in the state of New York and located east of New York City. Nassau together with Suffolk to its east, are generally referred to as Long Island. Nassau County is the wealthiest county in New York.

A little history of Nassau County, New York:

In 1640, the Dutch controlled Manhattan, then known as New Amsterdam, when a small group of New England British arrived hoping to relocate near Oyster Bay, NY. Dutch authorities soon forced the Englishmen eastward where they eventually established the town of Southampton, NY.

In 1643, another band of adventurous New Englanders crossed the Long Island Sound from Connecticut. The colonists landed at Manhasset Bay, traversed the thick North Shore woodlands, and established the town of Hempstead near clear streams and ponds. The small number of Indians in Nassau declined rapidly through disease brought by the settlers. Today many Native American place names are a reminder of Long Island’s original residents.

In 1670, Daniel Denton reported to England that the inhabitants of Long Island “are blessed with Peace and Plenty, blessed in their Country, blessed in their fields.”

In 1683, Long Island was divided into three counties: Kings, Suffolk, and Queens. Queens included western Long Island, as well as the present day towns of Hempstead and Oyster Bay. The towns grew slowly as a quiet agricultural area through the early 1700’s, although its plains provided ideal sites for colonial horse racing tracks.

In 1898, all the western towns in Queens became part of New York City. The eastern towns–Hempstead, North Hempstead, and Oyster Bay–were excluded from Greater New York but remained part of Queens County.

On January 22nd of that year, a citizens’ meeting in Allen’s Hotel in Mineola set the stage for the secession of the three towns by proposing the creation of a new Nassau County. The name was proposed since it reflects the region’s earliest Dutch and English colonial heritage, and was used for Long Island as the “Isle of Nassau” honoring William III (1650-1702), who was King of England, Stadholder (governor) of the Netherlands, member of the House of Nassau, and great-grandson of the Prince of Orange. After a bitter battle in Albany, the law creating the new county was signed by Governor Frank S. Black on April 27th, to take effect on January 1st of 1899.

County residents elected the officials of the new county and chose the location of the county seat within one mile of the railroad station Mineola. Today, it is still an easy walk from the Mineola railroad station to county buildings actually located in adjacent Garden City.

The courthouse referendum indicates the important role the railroad played in local growth. By the end of the Civil War in 1865, tracks ran along the center, and the north and south shores of the Island. By the turn of the century, the Long Island Rail Road had become the dominant means of transportation to New York city. In 1911, the railroad completed direct rail service to Pennsylvania Station in the heart of Manhattan. The population of Nassau’s small villages along the railroad lines swelled with commuters, leaping from 55,448 in 1900 to 303,053 in 1930.

Towns located along the tracks–Port Washington, Rockville Centre, Freeport among them–experienced rapid growth as the population expanded with commuters and local businesses to support them. Trains and steamboats also brought tourists to the picturesque seaside. Waterfront communities such as Sea Cliff, founded as a Methodist camp meeting ground, blossomed. The wooded North Shore attracted prominent New Yorkers to establish vacation homes.

In the early 1900’s, up to the Depression of the early 1930’s, North Shore farmlands became the site of luxurious country estates for wealthy New Yorkers. The Long Island “Gold Coast” across the entire north shore of Nassau has left a legacy of elegance, open space, and spectacular architecture still evident today.

Even before the Civil War, noted editor William C. Bryant established his country estate, Cedarmere, in Roslyn. In 1899, telegraph company magnate Clarence Mackay erected his 650-acre Harborhill complex, also in Roslyn. In 1885, Theodore Roosevelt built Sagamore Hill at Oyster Bay. Roosevelt reveled in Nassau County life, writing, “There could be no healthier place to bring children up.” Hundreds of thousands of other Nassau residents have agreed for the better part of a century.

As commuter villages grew, the drone of engines from above shattered the peace and quiet of the Hempstead Plains. Early aviators soared overhead, testing their craft above this tremendous, flat, open prairie. Spectators thronged to two nationally significant airstrips: Roosevelt Field, a center of civilian aviation, and nearby Mitchel Field, a major army air base.

The aviation industry mushroomed in Nassau County during World War II. America’s most famous warplanes, vital to victory, were manufactured at the Grumman and Republic factories. There production continued as a major part of the county’s economic base during the post war years, climaxed during the 1960’s when the technicians at Grumman built the Lunar Module which successfully landed on the moon in July 1969.

When the guns of World War II fell silent, the boys came home and another wave of settlers transformed Nassau County. An advertisement in Newsday on May 7th, 1947, offered 2,000 homes for $60 a month in a new development built on the open Hempstead plains. By the end of the month, more than 6,500 veterans had filed applications for the new housing units of Levittown.

A giant population wave changed Nassau County, almost overnight from a rural farming community to the nation’s largest suburb. So frenetic was the growth during the 1950’s that the number of people moving into the county in a single year often surpassed the entire population of 55,448 in 1900. The population doubled in ten years from 1950 to 1960, increasing from 672,000 to 1,300,700, reaching a peak of 1,428,838 in 1970. Major redevelopment of the east/west parkway systems created just before World War II were supplemented by the creation of additional north/south parkways and the Long Island Expressway.

In the subsequent decades of the 1980’s and ’90’s, population growth ceased but the county’s economic base and business/educational/recreational infrastructure changed dramatically as every aspect matured within the changes affecting all of America. Manufacturing, particularly the aviation industry, declined while retail and service employment boomed. A dramatic increase in office construction with some buildings exceeding over 1,000,000 square feet, changed the Nassau horizon and established it as a major place of white collar employment. Nassau County family income is in the top ten percent of the nation with the number one retail sales per household. (source)

Within Nassau County, there are 2 cities, 3 towns, 64 incorporated villages and over 100 unincorporated areas such as:

Atlantic Beach, Village

Baxter Estates, Village
Bayville, Village
Bellerose, Village
Brookville, NY
Cedarhurst, Village
Centre Island, Village
Cove Neck, Village
East Hills, Village
East Rockaway, Village
East Williston, Village
Farmingdale, Village
Floral Park, Village
Flower Hill, Village
Freeport, Village
Garden City, NY
Glen Cove, City
Great Neck Estates, Village
Great Neck Plaza, Village
Great Neck, NY
Hempstead, NY
Hewlett Bay Park, Village
Hewlett Harbor, Village
Hewlett Neck, Village
Island Park, Village
Kensington, Village
Kings Point, NY
Lake Success, Village
Lattingtown, NY
Laurel Hollow, Village
Lawrence, Village
Long Beach, NY
Lynbrook, Village
Malverne, Village
Manorhaven, NY
Massapequa Park, Village
Matinecock, Village
Mill Neck, Village
Mineola, Village
Munsey Park, Village
Muttontown, NY
New Hyde Park, Village
North Hills, Village
Old Brookville, Village
Old Westbury, NY
Oyster Bay Cove, Village
Oyster Bay, Town
Plandome Heights, Village
Plandome Manor, Village
Plandome, Village
Port Washington, NY
Rockville Centre, NY
Roslyn Estates, Village
Roslyn Harbor, Village
Roslyn, Village
Russell Gardens, Village
Saddle Rock, Village
Sands Point, NY
Sea Cliff, Village
South Floral Park, Village
Stewart Manor, Village
Thomaston, Village
Upper Brookville, Village
Valley Stream, NY
Westbury, NY
Williston Park, Village
Woodsburgh, Village