Tag: couples counseling Long Island

Parent-Child Dialogue – Felt Experience – Imago Therapy

Parent-Child Dialogue – Felt Experience – Imago Therapy Online

Here’s a clip with Chana in an Imago Therapy session online with a couple who was about to practice the “Parent-Child Dialogue,” a communication technique in Imago Relationship Therapy.

This is not about parent-shaming or parent-blaming, this is about our felt experience. As parents we know that we cannot be perfect. Some of our children may experience us giving them too much attention or not enough attention, and as parents, we do our best. So again, the focus of this dialogue is your felt experience.

Through Imago Relationship Therapy sessions with Chana, couples will learn new (and affective) ways to communicate so that both partners’ realities can be fully expressed and understood.

IMAGO RELATIONSHIP THERAPY TEACHES COUPLES HOW TO:

  • examine each childhood upbringing & how this formed their ‘Imago’
  • resolve conflict by understanding/empathizing each’s needs/desires
  • create a successful and gratifying plan for the future for you as a couple

If you’re interested in Imago Therapy with Chana Pfeifer, contact her today.

“As a certified Imago therapist, I love what I do. My specialty is relationships. I deal with a variety of people, whether it is navigating couples’ challenging relationships, separation, blended families, or geriatrics. I feel the variety of many issues keeps my skills sharp.”

West Hempstead Imago Relationship Therapist

Chana Pfeifer, LCSW is a West Hempstead Imago Relationship Therapist

“Imago” is the Latin word for “Image” – specifically, your image of love.

Many of us choose a partner subconsciously to attempt to recreate frustrating situations from our past so that we can solve and heal unwanted relationship patterns.

Imago Relationship Therapy uses frustration / conflict as a way to lead to healing – and ultimately a closer, more meaningful relationship.

Couples Therapy:

You won’t always know what your partner needs, nor can they fully know what you need without communicating it. Through Imago Relationship Therapy sessions with Chana, couples will learn new (and affective) ways to communicate so that both partners’ realities can be fully expressed and understood.

IMAGO RELATIONSHIP THERAPY TEACHES COUPLES HOW TO:

  • examine each childhood upbringing and how this has formed their ‘Imago’
  • resolve conflict by understanding/empathizing each’s needs/desires
  • create a successful and gratifying plan for the future for you as a couple

Imago relationship therapy is designed to help partners / friends / colleagues / family members work out misunderstandings, reduce conflict, and rediscover ways to bond.

Individual Therapy & Paired Therapy Available Also

Relationships Are Complex. Learn To Manage Your Partnership With Confidence.

West Hempstead Imago Relationship Therapist office is located at:
422 Berrywood Ct., West Hempstead, New York 11552

Other locations available in Miller Place, NY (Holistic Counseling Center of Long Island with David Weber, LCSW) and Huntington, NY (Huntington Relationship Center with Robin Newman, LCSW).

Call for additional information:  (516) 592-1107

Appts Available In Person & Online.

Premarital Counseling Questions Couples Should Talk About:

Below are a few premarital counseling questions couples should talk about regarding: Property / Land / Estate Rights

What happens when I put my new spouse’s name on my real property? What happens when I don’t?

Who’s home will you or your new spouse live in?

How will this be handled if you are the first to die and it is legally your house?

How will it be handled if you are the second to die and it is not legally your house?

Do you really want to trust adult step-children to protect your right to live somewhere?

How can the right to live somewhere that is not your property be secured and protected?

Is your pre-marital retirement account 100% yours if you get married?

How do you protect your retirement accounts for your named beneficiaries or children?

Is it possible to split beneficiary designations on retirement accounts? How?

Can you give your new spouse the income from your retirement account but keep the principal for your children?

How can you benefit your new spouse with your retirement accounts without risking your new spouse changing the beneficiary designations?

What happens to the furniture in your house that belonged to your deceased spouse?

Are you really going to depend on verbal agreements with a deceased person to protect you in all these matters?

Who will hold your property Power of Attorney, the new spouse or an adult child?

There’s a myriad of things to go over before getting married and a great place to work out these issues is in premarital counseling.

Get clarity around your expectations / thoughts surrounding things like:

  • Children
  • Home type and location
  • Career paths
  • Financial Goals
  • Leisure life
  • Religion
  • Boundaries with family

Contact Chana Pfeifer – she is currently seeing clients through telehealth virtual platforms and in-person (socially-distanced).

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Conversational Dialogue in Imago Relationship Therapy

Here is an example of how conversational dialogue in Imago Relationship Therapy works. This type of dialogue can be applied to appreciations, like in this video, and also for dealing with disagreements. It can be used for couples and also for any type of relationship.

One thing I appreciate about you as a partner / spouse / significant other:

First, Leora makes an appointment with Igor:

“I’d like to dialogue with you about an appreciation I have for you, is now a good time?”

After Leora finishes her statement, Igor repeats what he hears back to her:

“What I’m hearing you say is _______________________. Did I get that?

Leora then has a chance to say whether or not Igor received her message the right way. She responds with a yes or no.

Igor then asks:

Is there more?”

This gives Leora a chance to elaborate if she feels there’s more to say.

Igor then repeats the new information back to confirm that he heard her message correctly.

That’s about it in regards to the basics of conversational dialogue in Imago Relationship Therapy.

This lets the speakers feel heard and the listeners learn how to fully hear what their partner is saying. After the speaker is done, the roles switch and now the listener has a chance to talk.

For more info. on Imago Relationship Therapy near you, call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer, LCSW today.

Therapy After Cheating

Finding out that you’re being cheated on in a relationship is devastating. Why do people cheat? Well, there’s as many reasons as there is people, but some of the main reasons usually are:

People go outside of their relationship when they feel rejected / ignored / unappreciated by their partner.

Instead of addressing this issue with their current partner, someone else sparks that old feeling of being desired, and it becomes irresistible. Cheating on a partner can happen when an outside influence ignites lost feelings of being wanted.

Another reason why people cheat is because of unspoken resentment.

When people stop working through conflict in a relationship and they both just stuff their problems down and never speak about or work through them, people act out on each other as a way of expressing their anger. Intimacy becomes diminished and an emotional divide happens.

So, when it comes down to it, cheating on a partner isn’t solely based on sexual needs. It goes far beyond that. It encompasses ego, unmet desires, anger, etc.

Addressing the initial reactions of betrayal with a therapist can help you understand what you’re feeling and why. Not only is it important to recognize and experience these feelings, it can be healing as well.

In relationships, we like to project and blame our problems on someone/something else because it’s much easier than looking at ourselves.

Once you can recognize your part in a cheating scenario, whether you are the cheater or the person betrayed by cheating, you can learn to see the red flags faster and make better decisions in your relationships. Once you own your part in it, whatever part it is, you can begin to move forward.

For more info. on counseling, call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer, LCSW today.

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“Am I Hearing You Correctly?” Imago Relationship Therapy

A Long Island couple takes cues from social worker Chana Pfeifer on how to use Imago Relationship Therapy techniques to effectively listen to one another. The video, “Am I Hearing You Correctly?” is about receiving.

These receiver instructions are taken from Imago Relationship Therapy:

“What I heard you say is…”

When your partner (the sender) pauses, repeat back everything you heard them say, without judging, critiquing, analyzing, or adding/taking away from it. Reflect back with a tone that mirrors that of the sender.

Paraphrasing is fine but be careful to avoid sending while in the receiver role. The magic of dialogue lies in allowing the sender to be completely in charge of where the conversation goes. Once you ask a question or insert a comment or tone of voice not sent by the sender, the dialogue is now about your agenda, not theirs.

Check it out:

“Am I hearing you correctly?” or “Did I get you?”

Check to make sure you correctly mirrored all that your partner said. If your partner clarifies or corrects something, listen, then mirror again. Continue until your partner says you got it.

Ask if there’s more:

“Is there more?” or “Tell me more.”

If your partner adds more, mirror, and then ask, “Is there more?” again. Repeat until your partner says there’s no more.

Then summarize:

“I think the gist of what you’re saying is…”

When done, check for completeness:

“Did I get it all?”

Mirror any additions your partner makes.

For more info. on counseling, call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer, LCSW today.

Social Worker Booking Information:

Chana Pfeifer, LCSW

Accepted Insurance Plans:

Aetna

Payments can be made via:

Cash, Check, Zelle, Chase QuickPay, American Express, Discover, Mastercard, Visa, Health Savings Account

Relationship Therapy with Chana Pfeifer, LCSW – May 2020

Relationship Therapy with Chana Pfeifer, LCSW – May 2020 – This is an example of an Imago therapy session conducted remotely during Coronavirus. It is with a pregnant couple as they learn Imago dialogues to communicate more effectively with one another.

Thank you for allowing me to have the opportunity to share this therapy session with you. This is a live Imago session and this is what it looks like in my office. For me, we start with a brief meditation so that you can be in a calm, non-reactive way.

In a relationship, it’s so important to share how you’re feeling.

Use these relationship dialogue examples to begin communicating better:

I’d like to talk to you about ___. Is now a good time?

The one thing that I appreciate about you is…

What I heard you say is that…

Did I get you? Is there more?

Thank you for sharing.

Thank you for listening.

Relationship Therapy with Chana Pfeifer LCSW - May 2020

Feel really seen and heard in your relationship.

Learn to communicate effectively and truly feel listened to and understood. Break emotional boundaries, improve intimacy, and intellectually connect to live a full, healthy, and happy life.

For more information on relationship therapy, call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer, LCSW.

Couples Therapy with Chana Pfeifer, LCSW

Sometimes it can be difficult to get your spouse to talk about the issues you’re both experiencing. It’s important to remember that it might not be a matter of them not wanting to talk about things, but rather them not knowing exactly how to talk about them. This is where couples therapy with Chana Pfeifer, LCSW might come in handy!

Chana’s couples’ therapy is based on Imago Relationship Therapy, created by Harville Hendrix & Helen LaKelly Hunt.

Physical intimacy in a relationship is important for couples. Holding hands, massaging each other, cuddling during a movie, etc. keeps your bond together. It’s not just about sex. It’s about connecting physically and emotionally.

Not only can affectionate touch promote feelings of bonding and attachment in couples, but in long-term relationships, it also contributes to overall physical health and well-being.

Chana Pfeifer will help each partner make clear what he or she needs, so the partner can feel safe to give it. She assists couples in difficult times come into safety and connection. She helps partners be heard. She helps couples work through conflict and anger to create an environment of “getting my world”.

For more info. on counseling, call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer at TheHappierMe.LCSW@gmail.com

The benefits of premarital counseling:

Premarital counseling is probably one of the farthest things from your minds. However, as the date draws nearer, you may begin to wonder how it could help strengthen your relationship with your significant other.

Premarital counseling is designed to set you up in the best positive way for marriage. It helps you and your partner address the areas that couples commonly struggle with. Many people assume counseling is for people that are in the midst of challenges. But premarital counseling is to help you avoid troubling times. That means, it’s a great fit for every engaged couple.

If toxic relationship patterns can be identified early and agreed upon, the process of real change can begin.
A motivated couple can begin to explore their problems from a new perspective and learn new ways to recognize and resolve conflicts as a result of the tools provided by the therapist.
Partners can begin to build trust and improve communication.
A counselor can provide “neutral territory” to help couples agree upon and work through tough issues with support.

For additional information on premarital counseling, please call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer at TheHappierMe.LCSW@gmail.com

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Offices in both Cedarhurst and West Hempstead:

422 Berrywood Court West Hempstead, NY 11552
222 Rockaway Avenue Building 1 Cedarhurst, NY 11516