Complicated feelings typically arise during the holidays under any circumstance, but struggling with feelings of grief can make this time even more challenging. Grief counselor Chana Pfeifer, LCSW, can give you the support you need to get through the holidays with grace.
Holidays are difficult for people who’ve experienced the death of a loved one.
Any type of sound, sight and/or smell can trigger feelings of sadness, anger, emptiness, anxiety… the list goes on.
While you can’t change the situation for what it is, what you can control is your inner state of being. Does this mean not crying or feeling down? Of course not. Let yourself cry if you need it. Allow yourself to feel your feelings.
What you can control during times of grief is how you take care of your body & mind, so be realistic in your expectations during this time.
Grief can consume most of your physical and emotional energy no matter what the season. The holidays place additional demands and stress on your life. Respect what your body / mind is telling you. If you feel tired, take care of yourself as if you were physically sick. The mind and body work together.
It’s important to be aware of your limitations so you don’t overextend yourself, causing more stress. Consider changing your traditions to reduce stress. Limit social / family commitments to suit your available energy. Re-evaluate priorities and forego unnecessary activities and obligations. Keeping busy may distract you from your grief temporarily, but it may increase your stress too.
Handling the Holidays – Grief Counseling Services in Nassau County, New York.
There is no right way to move through this time of year, but it can be helpful to think about what values, traditions, and memories you want to share. Remember that grief has no expiration date— it is okay to feel how you feel.
Self-care and mindfulness are vital tools in navigating the holidays. Give yourself permission to rest. Allow feelings to come and go; the holidays don’t need to be perfect (they won’t be), so be gentle with yourself.