Tag: mental health

Counseling After a Break Up

Choosing to end a relationship is a decision that can be a source of intense distress. While feeling upset or sad about a break up is a normal part of the grieving process, some cases can lead to chronic sadness, depression, and unhealthy stress-related behaviors. After a break up, it is important to let oneself have time to heal from the loss.

There are numerous reasons why couples may choose to separate, including but not limited to infidelity, arguments, abuse and/or general incompatibility. The decision to move on requires emotional strength and the ability to coordinate the lifestyle changes that may come as a result.

A future that was imagined together may now seem unclear. A number of emotions may be present, including anger, sadness, or a feeling of emptiness.

Following a break up, you might experience a negative internal dialogue that can leave you feeling down and even remorseful. It can be easy to fall into the cycle of rumination, where you constantly think about mistakes you may have made in the relationship. The burden of such constant waves of negativity can make the healing process significantly longer and more difficult.

Managing the emotional ramifications of the break up while handling the adjustment period that follows can be resource-intensive. Depression and stress-related psychological factors can manifest easily during such a time of distress.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by this process, therapy can help you regain your footing, both emotionally and psychologically.

A mindful approach can help foster gratefulness for the good times in the relationship while learning to accept all the new changes that may come as a result of the breakup. While this can take time, counseling after a break up is a key step to recovering and making progress in a healthy way.

Thoughtful planning with a therapist can help you overcome depression, anxiety and other life-disrupting effects following a separation of any kind.

Counseling after a break-up can help you rebuild self-confidence and embrace your individual identity. Through therapy, you can learn to harness your strength and defeat unhealthy defense mechanisms like avoidance or withdrawal.

Processing your thoughts and feelings in a neutral, non-judgemental environment can help with clarity in what seems like a chaotic situation.

Chana Pfeifer offers in-office and virtual counseling appointments to meet your individual needs. If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of a breakup, don’t hesitate to reach out and begin a mindful journey of healing.

Contact Chana Today For More Information

Panic Attacks

If you’ve suffered from a panic attack before or have witnessed someone you care about go through one, you know that it’s a rough thing to deal with.

There are a significant amount of people who suffer from panic disorder.

With panic disorder, people obviously have panic attacks. However, if you have experienced a panic attack before, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you have panic disorder. It could just have been an isolated incident, not reoccurring for the rest of your life.

A panic attack is where you experience an incredible sense of fear.

When confronted with danger, your body goes into either fight, flight, or freeze responses. With panic attacks, you are just flying. Your body experiences the same feelings it would have if for example, someone was trying to mug you, except there is no one mugging you or chasing after you. There’s no discernible reason why you should be feeling this onset of crippling fear, but you’re experiencing it nonetheless. In other words, there is no tangible thing happening in that moment to cause you such fear.

Panic attack symptoms can last for up to an hour, leaving sufferers feeling drained. Some people may think they’re having a heart attack, which is quite scary to say the least.

If you have more than 4 of these symptoms, you may be having a panic attack:

  • heart pounding
  • shaking
  • dizziness
  • sweating
  • choking
  • nausea
  • short breath
  • chest pain
  • numbness
  • chills
  • hot flashes
  • feeling like you’re going crazy, about to die, etc.

If you’re having panic attacks on a regular basis, you may have panic disorder.

One theory why people may develop panic disorder is if they experienced a traumatic event in their lives that was never dealt with psychologically. Stored feelings that someone may have had at one point continually gets revisited.

Or, even worrying about your next panic attack can actually bring one on! There is a link to agoraphobia simply because of this fear of having a panic attack again. Just the fear of having one before can lead to more in the future. So, it is a cyclical problem.

If you do have a panic disorder, you may have a hard time getting your family or friends to understand it. They might under react to the severity of your issues. Saying, “it’s all in your head”, or “just calm down”. Whatever the case, it can make you feel as if you’re alone.

Just know that, you are never alone, even if you feel that way.

There’s always ways to receive help, talk to people who understand you, and surround yourself with others who are supportive of you.

Seeking a therapist to discuss things with is a great way to start the process of healing.

The silver lining in all of this is that panic attacks are treatable.

They can be helped through cognitive behavioral therapy. We can uncover the reasons behind your panic attacks, which is a huge step. When you want to overcome something, you need to understand it.

For more info. on counseling, call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer, LCSW today.

Establishing Boundaries

Establishing boundaries is essentially you protecting / treating yourself kindly.

If somebody hurts you, or crosses a line with you, how do you react?

Lots of people may feel it’s easier just to let some things go when they are hurt. You may think that it’s not that important to bring something up. But in doing that, if someone has truly hurt you, you’re really just saying that you don’t matter.

The problem is, most of us haven’t learned how to set boundaries. Children aren’t given the tools. Maybe you’ve even seen negative examples of that with your own parents. Most of us aren’t modeled healthy boundaries in our households growing up. So, we have to put in the work now.

First off, setting a boundary is not a confrontation.

A confrontation is when someone aggressively approaches you ready for a fight. A boundary teaches other people how we want to be treated. In other words, it is letting other people know what is ok with you and what is not.

If you see yourself as important, then setting boundaries for your well-being should be important.

How much value do you have for yourself? If you don’t have self-worth, then boundaries aren’t necessary to begin with. So, you need to realize that you do matter and that your well-being is important.

Below are just a few helpful ways to define and set boundaries.

Build up your self-esteem.

You need to be able to feel valuable in order to set a boundary. Find ways to build up your inner self, whether it’s exercise, crafts, dancing, singing; whatever it is, do it for you. Once you are clear with your sense of self and in tune with your worth, establishing boundaries will be easier.

Establish what your non-negotiables are.

It’s important in any relationship to understand the other person’s perspective. However, you need to define what is good for you beforehand, so that your decision is grounded and unswayed. Figure out how you want to be treated instead of how it’s happening to you now. Clearly define what is offensive to you so that you know what to set a boundary about.

Shift your thinking… It’s not war.

Try not to make anyone “enemies”, realize that they’re just different from you. You don’t ever want to have a “we’re right” and “they’re wrong” mentality. That’s never going to build any bridges.

For more info. on counseling, call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer, LCSW today.

Self Care for Mental Health

love advice - self care tips

Self care is REALLY hard during these times, and finding safe ways to take care of ourselves is essential.

Taking care of your mental health, just like your physical health, is a necessity.

Self care relies on increased self awareness.

Practicing self awareness can help you recognize patterns in your behavior or emotions, including events or situations that can trigger symptoms of depression, anxiety, sadness, etc.

Putting “me time” on the back burner is a big part of why we can all feel run-down, frenzied, and overwhelmed.

For additional info. on counseling, call me (516) 592-1107 or email me here.

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self care for mental health

Looking for ways to practice caring for yourself more?

Below are just a few examples of ways to practice self care. Take time to experiment. See what really works for you.

Sleep More

Gut Health

Exercise Often

Go Outside

Clean & Reorder

Avoid Triggers

Don’t feel guilty about taking time for yourself.

It’s not selfish to make your health a priority. You will be better able to help others when you are your healthiest.

Short Meditation For People With Busy Minds with Chana Pfeifer, LCSW

Mental Health During Coronavirus - Just listen & pray, that's all we can do.

Dealing with Triggering Events of Divorce

How do you deal with triggering events of divorce that occur when you don’t have a normal family and we’re coping with the emotions of being divorced, co-parenting, COVID-19, and all the related challenges? There’s always triggers from the outside world, so what’s your advice on that?

Part of that is PLANNING AHEAD.

For example, if there’s a holiday coming up, ask if you’re having the kids or not. Also, recognize what the triggers were last year or if this is new, realize what might be difficult for you. Figure out how to surround yourself with people who can support you the way you need.

Rather than pretending that everything’s going to be fine or telling yourself that you’ll just get through it, sometimes, just ask for help when you need it.

Invite yourself to some one else’s house so that you’re not alone rather than waiting for that person to call you or give you an invitation if you need to be around people.

Look at your calendar and really see what may be triggering to you / what might be difficult times?

Figure out who you have in your support network or who you can enlist in your support network if you don’t have the support you need yet.

Get in the mode of being OK asking for help.

Sometimes, we need help, and that is okay. When we actually ask or help, we’re letting the other person help us and that’s nourishing for both parties.

We also have triggers with communication. Especially communication with our former spouse. Can you talk a bit about that as well?

Well, that’s partly being responsible for our own reactivity. Making sure we’re not exhausted, annoyed, stressed, hungry or anything like that before talking with someone. We’re responsible for not being insulting.

In Imago Relationship Therapy, we make appointments before speaking with someone so that we’re both present and respectful of each other’s time and availability. You simply just ask, “Is now a good time?”

Personal responsibility will affect the caliber of our communication with difficult people in our lives.

Too often we find people who point the finger and look to blame, and not look at the fact that there’s different ways to address the issues and those differences can make all the difference in the outcome.

Practice looking at yourself and thinking, what can I do differently? You can’t control any other person than yourself. So, how do you control yourself? How do you become aware of your own personal triggering events of divorce?

For info. on post-divorce counseling, call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer, LCSW today.

NY Social Worker Booking Information:

Accepted Insurance Plans: Aetna

Payments can be made via: Cash, Check, Zelle, Chase QuickPay, American Express, Discover, Mastercard, Visa, Health Savings Account

Ways to Cope with Anxiety

Chana Pfeifer, LCSW & Anxiety Therapist in Long Island, New York.

Everyone experiences anxiety at some point. It’s quite normal to feel anxious, as stress is a common part of it and life. We generally call that worrying. But worrying becomes a disorder when it gets excessive or irrational. In other words, when it persists for a consistent period of time and interferes with your daily lifestyle and activities.

For instance, you fail to function normally due to lack of concentration, unwanted thoughts that you’re unable to control, and detachment from the present reality. So you end up not getting your chores done, procrastinating, or being disorganized from constantly focusing on things going on in your head.

If you think these points resonate with you then you may be suffering from an anxiety disorder. But don’t worry, there are a couple of ways to help you out of it.

Identifying Your Problem

The first step as a solution to any problem is always identifying it. If you have identified your problem as suffering from anxiety, congratulations on getting this far. Many people go most (sometimes, all) of their lives not dealing with or recognizing their issues.

It is fairly common for mental health to be stigmatized in many countries due to a lack of awareness. If you say you are anxious or depressed, you are often just told to simply “get over it” or that “it’s all in your head”. Sure, it is all in your head, but it’s very hard to break out of habits and change thought patterns. Most people do not acknowledge it even if they probably understand it.

The Right Anxiety Therapist

Honestly, therapy takes time, and finding a therapist who suits you is also another struggle. There isn’t a definite amount of time that therapy can guarantee your improvement— as it is different for everyone. So finding the right anxiety therapist is important. Don’t be discouraged if the first time you try, it doesn’t feel like it’s working. There’s plenty of counselors to choose from.

Self-Help & Self-Care

Self-help is probably one of the most beneficial ways to cope with your anxiety but it is also among the hardest. It requires a lot of determination and motivation that simply lacks in most people affected. For people suffering from anxiety, it is almost impossible for them to do things that seem pretty easy and normal for others.

For example, whenever you’re anxious, try deep breathing and counting them to create a distraction. This is why experts recommend practicing mindfulness so one can bring themselves in touch with their feelings and learn to have control over them.

Self-care is also very important in all of this. Self-care can mean different things to different people. Such as, taking time for solitude or seeing friends, getting a massage or your nails done, working out or taking a class, reading, writing in a journal, etc. Whatever it is that creates calmness within you, you should schedule this time into your life because it’s one of the most important things to do for yourself, however silly it may seem to others.

The right therapy will boost your self-confidence.

When you see yourself making progress in being able to control your thoughts and actions, it ends up boosting your morale. That’s important because self-confidence plays a key role in anxiety disorders. Lots of people with low self-esteem are prone to experiencing it. Therefore, working on that and self-care should be of utmost priority in managing anxiety.

For more info. on counseling, call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer, LCSW today.

Social Worker Booking Information:

Accepted Insurance Plans: Aetna

Payments can be made via: Cash, Check, Zelle, Chase QuickPay, American Express, Discover, Mastercard, Visa, Health Savings Account

Childhood Depression / Anxiety

Can kids have depression / anxiety? Yes! Children may insist that they’re not experiencing any mental problems, and parents often ignore a child’s rage as part of their ‘growth phase’. However, persistent irritable behavior can be a sign of childhood depression / anxiety. Moreover, this condition can be worsened if you neglect your kid’s mental health.

What is childhood depression / anxiety?

Childhood depression is different from normal ‘sad’ emotions. If your child’s sadness becomes persistent, interferes with daily activities, family life, or schoolwork, it may indicate that she/he has an issue.

Parents must pay attention to their kid’s emotions. Your children can feel anxious about different things at different ages. However, anxiety can be a problem when it starts to get in the way of daily life. For example, a child becomes so anxious on exam day that he/she cannot manage to go to school that day.

The main causes of depression in children:

Depression in childhood does not have a single cause. However, the significant causes of depression in children are:

  • Parental conflicts
  • Parental neglect
  • Divorce
  • Family disputes
  • Verbal, sexual or physical abuse
  • Social violence / bullying in school
  • Genetic issues
  • Financial issues
Common symptoms of depression include:
  • Depressed mood, crying / feeling angry often
  • Lack of energy
  • Loss of pleasure in favorite activities
  • Excessive sleeping or insomnia
  • Feelings of guilt / shame
  • Inability to make decisions
  • Thoughts of death / suicide
  • Changes in eating

A treatment plan depends upon the individual nature and severity of your child’s condition. Counseling and social support are considered the best option to reduce depression / anxiety.

Depression / anxiety can have a severe impact on physical, mental, and social well-being for everyone, including kids. It’s essential to keep an eye for warning signs in your child’s behavior. Parents should be willing to know what their child is feeling and be careful to remain non-judgmental and supportive. Early attention to a child’s behavior can reverse severe disorders of anxiety and depression in the future.

For more info. on counseling, call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer, LCSW today.

Social Worker Booking Information:

Chana Pfeifer, LCSW

Accepted Insurance Plans:

Aetna

Payments made via:

Cash, Check, Zelle, Chase QuickPay, American Express, Discover, Mastercard, Visa, Health Savings Account

Mental Health During Coronavirus

I’m not Susie Sunshine today.. Respect how you feel. Mental health during Coronavirus: Just listen and pray, that’s all we can do.

I’m really struck by a friend of mine who is a nurse and her husband is positive for Coronavirus. I’m not feeling like Susie Sunshine today. I can’t image the horrific images that are going through their heads or how they’re even sleeping at night.

There’s a part of me that feels guilty that I’m OK and I’m not in the trenches.

I’m encouraging myself and you to respect where we are and do what we can, and to really pray for all those who need our help. So, I thank you for listening. I encourage you to reach out to each other and just listen because sometimes, that is invaluable.

Therapy from the safety and comfort of your own home. Soothe anxiety while feeling the security of being in your zone. HIPPA compliant platforms.

I am here for virtual counseling sessions with couples and individual adults during this time. I’m available on Zoom, Skype, and FaceTime. Payments can be made by credit card, Zelle, and Chase QuickPay.

For more info. on counseling, call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer, LCSW today.

Counseling for Depression

A variety of distressing life events have the ability to cause low mood and sadness. If the symptoms are persistent and interfere with daily life, it can be considered depression. Regardless of the circumstances and severity of symptoms, counseling for depression can be an essential component to combat these stressful feelings.

Although individuals can experience it in different ways, some of the most common symptoms which lead to a clinical diagnosis of depression are:

  • Feeling sad, hopeless, overwhelmed, irritable, worthless, guilty
  • Increased emotional sensitivity or feeling of being emotionally numb
  • Loss of interest or pleasure in previously enjoyable activities
  • Social withdrawal, feeling isolated from the world
  • Physical symptoms such as chronic fatigue, malaise, GI disruption
  • Inability to sleep (insomnia) or sleeping excessively (hypersomnia)
  • Noticeable weight changes and/or major fluctuations in appetite
  • Difficulty concentrating, processing thoughts, making decisions
  • Thoughts of suicide, death, self-harm
  • Increased alcohol/substance use as a coping mechanism
  • Often, these feelings are accompanied by anxiety

These symptoms can continue for a period of time or occur in episodes.  Elongated periods of severe symptoms can be considered major depressive disorder. Constant feelings of restlessness or slowed movements and speech can greatly interfere with an individual’s ability to function. Often, a lack of treatment can cause symptoms to become more intrusive and oppressive.

Some of the most common types of counseling for depression include cognitive-behavioral, psychodynamic, or psychosocial therapy. Simple talk or group therapy can be greatly beneficial as well. Chana Pfeifer can help discuss options for therapy to help alleviate symptoms that have become severe. In the process, she may assess other psychiatric features or medical conditions that may contribute to or interact with depression.

When one is seeing through a world view blurred by constant loops of negative thoughts, therapy can help to clear the lens. Identifying the roots of depressive feelings can be essential to re-programming the destructive behaviors which accompany it.

A therapist can help locate and resolve cognitive distortions and replace harmful coping skills with self-enhancing behaviors. Formulating a treatment plan is done with the patient’s well-being, self-confidence, and safety in mind.

In times of grief it might feel difficult to reach out for help. In fact, the feelings of worthlessness can discourage one from having hope. It is important to remember that no one is alone and that hope is a beacon always ready to be grasped by one’s powerful mind.

Therapy can help to make visible what one cannot see through the blackout curtains of depression and break up negative cycles with feelings of peace and security.

Chana Pfeifer, LCSWFor more info. on counseling, call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana at TheHappierMe.LCSW@gmail.com