Category: Couples Therapy

A Grief Counselor To Help You Handle The Holidays With Ease

Complicated feelings typically arise during the holidays under any circumstance, but struggling with feelings of grief can make this time even more challenging. Grief counselor Chana Pfeifer, LCSW, can give you the support you need to get through the holidays with grace.

Holidays are difficult for people who’ve experienced the death of a loved one.

Any type of sound, sight and/or smell can trigger feelings of sadness, anger, emptiness, anxiety… the list goes on.

While you can’t change the situation for what it is, what you can control is your inner state of being. Does this mean not crying or feeling down? Of course not. Let yourself cry if you need it. Allow yourself to feel your feelings.

What you can control during times of grief is how you take care of your body & mind, so be realistic in your expectations during this time.

Grief can consume most of your physical and emotional energy no matter what the season. The holidays place additional demands and stress on your life. Respect what your body / mind is telling you. If you feel tired, take care of yourself as if you were physically sick. The mind and body work together.

It’s important to be aware of your limitations so you don’t overextend yourself, causing more stress. Consider changing your traditions to reduce stress. Limit social / family commitments to suit your available energy. Re-evaluate priorities and forego unnecessary activities and obligations. Keeping busy may distract you from your grief temporarily, but it may increase your stress too.

Handling the Holidays – Grief Counseling Services in Nassau County, New York.

There is no right way to move through this time of year, but it can be helpful to think about what values, traditions, and memories you want to share. Remember that grief has no expiration date— it is okay to feel how you feel.

Self-care and mindfulness are vital tools in navigating the holidays. Give yourself permission to rest. Allow feelings to come and go; the holidays don’t need to be perfect (they won’t be), so be gentle with yourself.

CHANA PFEIFER provides guidance & support so that you can find peace throughout the holiday season.

If you need someone to vent to with 100% confidentiality, or you would like help discovering coping strategies for dealing with the holidays, contact Chana Pfeifer, LCSW today. In-person and telehealth services available.

Couples Therapy in West Hempstead, NY

Couples Therapy in West Hempstead, New York with Chana Pfeifer

Local Long Island Counseling Services – Speak with an Imago Relationship Therapist – Get the Support You Need Today to Create a Future You Desire.

Any two people who want to grow in their relationship can seek counseling together. You don’t have to be married or experiencing huge relationship problems to benefit from a professional’s support and advice.

Couples choose to go to relationship counseling for a variety of reasons, including:

  • Transitions in life causing tension (job changes, financial difficulties, moving).
  • Overcoming feelings of dissatisfaction in their relationship (no fun, passion, closeness, intimacy).
  • Addressing serious relationship challenges (infidelity, health problems, abuse).
  • Preparation for marriage with premarital therapy.

If you and your partner are experiencing any issues in your relationship or you just want to work on yourself and determine how to improve your relationship health, working with a relationship therapist can help.

Therapy helps couples discover underlying issues while providing effective tools for preventing future issues to happen.

Chana will help each partner make clear what s/he needs, so both feel safe to share it. She assists couples in difficult times come into safety and connection.

For Couples Therapy in West Hempstead, New York: Call (516) 592-1107

Contact Chana Pfeifer, LCSW. She is seeing clients in West Hempstead, NY and also through telehealth services.

Premarital Counseling Questions Couples Should Talk About:

Below are a few premarital counseling questions couples should talk about regarding: Property / Land / Estate Rights

What happens when I put my new spouse’s name on my real property? What happens when I don’t?

Who’s home will you or your new spouse live in?

How will this be handled if you are the first to die and it is legally your house?

How will it be handled if you are the second to die and it is not legally your house?

Do you really want to trust adult step-children to protect your right to live somewhere?

How can the right to live somewhere that is not your property be secured and protected?

Is your pre-marital retirement account 100% yours if you get married?

How do you protect your retirement accounts for your named beneficiaries or children?

Is it possible to split beneficiary designations on retirement accounts? How?

Can you give your new spouse the income from your retirement account but keep the principal for your children?

How can you benefit your new spouse with your retirement accounts without risking your new spouse changing the beneficiary designations?

What happens to the furniture in your house that belonged to your deceased spouse?

Are you really going to depend on verbal agreements with a deceased person to protect you in all these matters?

Who will hold your property Power of Attorney, the new spouse or an adult child?

There’s a myriad of things to go over before getting married and a great place to work out these issues is in premarital counseling.

Get clarity around your expectations / thoughts surrounding things like:

  • Children
  • Home type and location
  • Career paths
  • Financial Goals
  • Leisure life
  • Religion
  • Boundaries with family

Contact Chana Pfeifer – she is currently seeing clients through telehealth virtual platforms and in-person (socially-distanced).

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5 Financial Topics To Consider Before Getting Married

Even though getting married can be one of the happiest moments of our lives, it should also be a reminder that marriage is a legal union as much as it is a romantic one. Below are 5 financial topics to consider before getting married:

It’s important to consider the financial implications before tying the knot.

Giving consideration to these issues before the wedding makes things easier for the relationship. Through pre-marital counseling, you have a chance to discuss all the aspects of marriage and what you both want out of it. It’s wise to plan ahead. Consulting with a pre-marital counselor is always a good idea to make sure all your bases are covered, so that you can go into marriage confident and assured.

Here’s 5 financial topics to consider before getting married:

1. Prenuptial Agreement: This is probably one of the most common subjects to consider before getting married. A prenuptial agreement, or postnuptial if signed after the wedding ceremony, defines what happens upon divorce, instead of the state. Common topics covered in these agreements are how assets are divided upon divorce, protection of family inheritances from past relationships, separation of debt that is not jointly shared, spousal support, and characterization of incomes and property if they vary greatly between the spouses. Spouses considering a prenuptial, or premarital agreement should consult with a family law attorney to ensure it is prepared correctly and complies with the relevant laws in your state.

2. Money: It’s important to make sure that you and your soon-to-be spouse have an agreement with regard to money and finances. Many choose to have joint bank accounts because it makes it easier to track finances, while others choose to keep funds separate to maintain their financial independence. Having joint accounts requires close communication to keep each other abreast of spending. It also makes it convenient for shared expenses such as a mortgage or insurance, and it makes access to an account easier should a spouse suddenly pass away. On the other hand, keeping accounts separate makes it less difficult in the event of a divorce and each person has immediate access to funds. However, you’ll have to determine how to split shared expenses if you go this route. No matter how finances are handled, communication is key.

3: Taxes: Getting married can have a significant effect on your taxes. There are a few decisions couples need to make before the big day. For example, married couples can incur a tax penalty, sometimes paying more than they would if they were single. This happens when the tax brackets, standard deductions and other elements of the tax code don’t double upon marriage. This means that you may actually pay more than you would if you were single. If the salaries of both individuals vary greatly, then combining the incomes may result in a lower tax bracket, therefore, saving you money. But, when incomes are very similar, it’s possible you may incur a higher tax obligation by filing jointly. There are essentially two options for married couples: ‘married filing jointly’ and ‘married filing separately’. Rarely do couples save money when choosing to file ‘married filing separately’. Consulting a CPA or other tax professional is wise to determine which option best fits your financial situation.

4. Estate Planning: While this is often done once married, it’s definitely something to consider or give thought to prior to. Have you and your future spouse considered what should happen with your estate in the future? There are a variety of key documents that can ensure your loved ones are taken care of in the event that something happens to you. It’s critical to plan your estate with your significant other in mind by selecting beneficiaries, determining shared and separate assets, and creating health care directives. The four most important estate planning documents are Last Will and Testament, Living Trust, Advanced Directive and Power of Attorney.

5. Name Change: Of the many changes we experience when we get married, and one of the most visible, is a change of last name. While one does not legally need to change their name, it is something to consider and discuss before the wedding. First, you must have the new name on the marriage certificate. Second, you’ll need to change your identification documents such as your Social Security card, driver’s license or state-issued ID, vehicle title and registration, passport, bank accounts, etc. In order to do this you will need to present the marriage certificate with your new last name. Then, use your new last name on everything you do moving forward.

Marriage is as much a commitment as it is a legal contract, so it’s critical to consider all aspects before getting married.
Rights and responsibilities vary by state, but the above-mentioned financial topics to consider before getting married are important for everyone to think about ahead of time. Consulting with a family law attorney and pre-marital counselor can put your mind at ease, reach out today for an appointment with Chana Pfeifer, LCSW in Nassau County, NY.

Chana Pfeifer is currently seeing clients through telehealth virtual platforms and in-person (socially-distanced).

Long Island counselor helping couples before getting married.

Long Island marriage counselor Chana Pfeifer is helping couples before getting married…

The key to a successful marriage is finding the right person (for you). But how do you know if it’s right for sure before you walk down the aisle?

That’s where premarital counseling comes in. These are services for couples who want to make sure their relationship is off to a good start before they commit for the long-term.

Here’s how premarital counseling can help couples thinking about getting married:

1. Learn to communicate effectively.

One of the most important things in a relationship is communication. But it’s not always easy to communicate effectively; we all know how excruciating it can be not being understood by your partner. Counselors can help you learn how to communicate with one other so that you can avoid misunderstandings and jump back from arguments quickly and without resentment!

2. Resolve any on-going conflicts.

Even the happiest of couples argue from time to time. But if you’re constantly fighting, it’s a sign that something is wrong and it’s not being resolved. Counselors can help mediate an argument so you can resolve your differences and move on from the disagreement without causing more damage to the relationship.

3. Set realistic marriage expectations.

It’s important to have realistic expectations for your relationship. Otherwise, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment! Counselors can help you understand and express what you both expect from the marriage so that you can adjust your expectations accordingly, and be on the same page. They can help you set financial goals, decide how to raise your children, and figure out where you want to live. By planning for a successful future, you can make sure that your marriage gets off to a good start.

4. Mentally prepare for the wedding itself.

Wedding planning can be stressful, and pre-marital couples therapy can help you get through it. A counselor will help you figure out what’s important to you and your partner on the big day. You can clarify who you want (or not want) to invite, what will go on, where it will take place, when and why you want to.

If you’re considering getting married, counselors can help you prepare for a lifetime of happiness. By getting counseling before you tie the knot, you can avoid many of the problems that can ruin a marriage.

If you’re not sure you’re ready for marriage, counseling can help you figure it out. A therapist will ask you questions about your relationship and what you’re expecting from marriage. They’ll also give you some time to think about your decision so that you can be sure you’re making the right choice.

Counseling can help you communicate better, resolve conflicts, understand one other better, set realistic expectations, and plan for a successful future.

Helping couples before getting married – if you want to make sure your relationship is off to a good start, consider getting premarital counseling from Long Island marriage therapist Chana Pfeifer, LCSW.

Imago relationship therapy for couples: new ways to communicate.

Imago relationship therapy for couples: learn new ways to communicate.

You won’t always know what your partner needs, nor can they fully know what you need without communicating it.

Through Imago Relationship Therapy sessions with Chana, couples will learn new (and affective) ways to communicate so that both partners’ realities can be fully expressed and understood.

When Long Island couples sit in a therapy session, they will engage in Imago Dialogue.

Here is an example of how conversational dialogue in Imago Relationship Therapy works.

This type of dialogue can be applied to appreciations, like in this video, and also for dealing with disagreements. It can be used for couples, but really for any type of relationship, romantic or not.

“Am I Hearing You Correctly?” Imago Relationship Therapy

Here’s Long Island couple takes cues from social worker Chana Pfeifer on how to use Imago Relationship Therapy techniques to effectively listen to one another. The video, “Am I Hearing You Correctly?” is about receiving.

This type of therapy teaches couples to lead with compassion and communicate their needs while not blaming one another for the problems in the relationship. Couples are guided through the process of learning ways of expressing themselves so that things become better for both involved.

Altogether, Imago relationship therapy teaches couples how to:
  • examine each childhood upbringing & how this has formed their ‘Imago’
  • resolve conflict by understanding/empathizing each’s needs/desires
  • create a successful and gratifying plan for the future for you as a couple

Contact Chana Pfeifer, LCSW for more information.

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Why premarital counseling helps any relationship.

~ why premarital counseling helps any relationship ~

Research shows that people who share the same values, communicate effectively, and have a good friendship are more likely to enjoy their romantic relationship and build a marriage that lasts.

Premarital counseling could help you and your partner explore where you stand on important issues.

A couple may already know that they want a family/children, however a counselor can help you discuss your vision of family and what you each expect from each other as partners and parents.

Another couple may wonder how to best manage a career while still making their marriage / love a priority.

Some are coming into the relationship with kids and need to discuss strategies for blending families.

No matter what your unique situation is, premarital counseling is an opportunity to get to know your significant other even better.

It’s all in defining the details. It’s about becoming aware of what our partner envisions in a life together with you. It’s also about defining what you want in a marriage. This is why premarital counseling helps any relationship. It gives you a chance to map out a foundation for the two of you, to live a fulfilling life together.

Another great benefit to premarital counseling is that you’ll reduce the amount of disagreements you may have later! Learn effective communication techniques with Imago therapist Chana Pfeifer. 

Contact Chana Pfeifer, LCSW for setting up an appointment in West Hempstead, NY or online.

Individual & couples therapy provided in a confidential & supportive atmosphere.

Long Island Couples Therapist Chana Pfeifer – Communication Techniques

Communication issues are the most common problem that cause couples to seek out a therapist.

Chana Pfeifer, LCSW, helps couples to communicate effectively with Imago relationship therapy.

Learn Effective Communication Skills

Couples often have difficulty expressing their emotions and feelings to one another without it leading to argument and resentment. Counseling gives couples a safe, neutral place to express & develop their communication skills to better understand each other’s thoughts and feelings.

You can work together to cultivate effective communication and compromise on the differences you and your partner may have. With the professional guidance of a licensed counselor, couples can develop adaptive strategies to resolve conflicts and address challenges together with confidence.

When in couples therapy, you will learn dialogue techniques that encourages true communication and validation.

If you’re looking for the best relationship therapy that can help improve your marriage, Imago relationship therapy is a good place to start.

If you feel that you keep fighting about the same issue with no resolution in sight, contact Chana Pfeifer for more information on couples therapy.

Counseling can help you learn more about your partner’s communication style and how they handle conflict. This knowledge can be invaluable as you navigate the ups and downs of life together.

It can identify potential areas of conflict. No relationship is perfect, and all couples will face challenges at some point. This knowledge can help you develop strategies for dealing with these issues if they arise in the future.

Here’s a short clip of how Imago therapy works. It’s called, “Am I hearing you correctly?” WATCH

A Long Island couple takes cues from social worker Chana Pfeifer on how to use Imago Relationship Therapy techniques to effectively speak and hear one another. This video post is about receiving information.

13 Premarital Counseling Questions from a Couples Therapist in NY

13 Premarital Counseling Questions from a Couples Therapist in NY

When coming in for premarital counseling, questions will be asked that will be unique to you, your relationship, and your expectations of your marriage.

These premarital counseling questions will help you & your partner facilitate conversations about important relationship topics that may cause problems later on if you’re not clear about where you both stand.

Marriage can be defined in different ways and our perception of family is based upon our past experiences, which is most likely different from what our partners have experienced.

The 13 premarital questions listed below are just a starting point in conversation:
  1. What do you appreciate most about your partner?
  2. How do you express love and affection?
  3. Do you agree with your partner’s lifestyle choices?
  4. Where do you see yourselves living and creating your life?
  5. How important are your religious / spiritual beliefs to you?
  6. Are you on the same page about having children?
  7. How do you relate to your family / your partner’s family?
  8. How will you manage finances (joint or separate)?
  9. How will you prioritize careers in relation to family / marriage?
  10. What are your expectations around intimacy and sex?
  11. What does marriage and commitment mean to you?
  12. What does betrayal and infidelity mean to you?
  13. How will you maintain your personal identity within the marriage? How much time do you expect to spend with each other? How will you spend your free time together and apart?
If you have more premarital counseling questions, contact Chana Pfeifer today.

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