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Managing stress from a divorce & ways that counseling can help.

Managing Stress From A Divorce: finding healthy ways to cope with counseling.

There are so many things to think about when going through a divorce, and it can be difficult to find the strength to take any action. Even worse, you may feel like you’re completely alone in your pain because nobody really understands what you’re going through.

During this time, counseling can be a lifeline for many people. It’s not just about talking through your problems; it’s about connecting with someone who understands and can help you figure out where to go from here.

Counseling provides support, new perspectives on old issues, and strategies for moving forward into a brighter future.

Separation is never easy. It’s very painful to end a marriage, and it can be even more difficult when there are children involved in the breakup. But remember that you’re not alone—lots of people are going through this right now, and lots of people have gone through it before you!

It’s also important to remember that it’s not your fault. Divorce is never any one person’s “fault.” Often there are things we could have done differently or better in the relationships that may have led us down the path toward separation/divorce. It can help to talk about these regrets with someone who understands what you’re going through.

You’re going through a big transition, and it can be difficult to see the positive side of things. You’re leaving behind your life as you knew it and creating a new one that’s different from what you expected. You might feel like no matter what you do, nothing is getting better or easier. But with time and patience, you’ll find healthy ways to cope and ultimately heal.

You are not alone. You may feel like you are, but you’re not. This is a common experience and many have gone through this same experience and have managed to move on with their lives. It’s important that you understand that even though it feels like your life will never be the same again and that you will never be able to go back to who you were before, it’s possible that one day those feelings will fade away and become part of your past.

Accepting the pain can help you feel better faster. It’s important to remember that for many people, feeling this pain is a normal part of the healing process. In fact, you may never completely accept what has happened in your marriage. However, acceptance can help you move forward and find peace.

Acceptance doesn’t mean that what happened is okay—it doesn’t mean that you have to like it or forgive the other person. Acceptance means recognizing reality and moving on with your life despite what happened in the past.

Take steps toward what you need for self-care. Some examples of self-care include getting out of the house if possible. Being active is good for both your mind and body, so consider going on walks, running errands or even going to an arcade! Or eating healthy foods that make you feel energized. Make sure to eat enough protein to help manage any stress or negative emotions, as well as vegetables that are rich in vitamins A and C as they help strengthen your immune system.

Starting over is scary, but it’s exciting too. It’s difficult to let go of the idea that you will always be with your ex-spouse, in part because you’ve probably spent a lot of time and energy defining yourself as “a couple.” After the divorce is final, however, there are new ways to define yourself and your future—and yes, that can feel scary at first. But it can also be exciting; for example:

You have the chance to start fresh without carrying baggage from your previous relationship into another one later on! This gives you an opportunity to practice being single again (which isn’t easy but also isn’t impossible!)

Counseling helps you remember that everything will be alright when you don’t feel like it will be. Speaking with a counselor can help you process emotions and feelings in a controlled environment without having to worry about what your ex is thinking or feeling.

A therapist will provide an outside opinion about what is going on and what steps you should take next. They can also provide support for any mental health issues that arise from having gone through such an experience.

Consider finding a therapist to help you through this difficult process. Get in touch with Chana Pfeifer, LCSW here!

Dealing with the Emotional Impact of Divorce

Dealing with the Emotional Impact of Divorce with Chana Pfeifer, LCSW

Divorce has its own unique impact on you, your children, and even other family members and friends.

Staying strong during this difficult time is possible. Counseling is a resource that can help you deal with the emotional impact of divorce.

Counseling gives you the space to open up.

Talking with a professional therapist gives you a safe place to share your feelings. You can talk about anything you want and not have to worry about your counselor judging you. Counseling gives you the space to talk about emotions you may not usually express in everyday life, such as anger or sadness. It’s hard to pinpoint exactly what makes us feel better after a divorce, but sometimes just being able to let off steam is really important!

Seeing a licensed social worker provides confidentiality.

You don’t have to worry about sharing personal details with people who may not be so understanding or private, like family / friends. When talking with Chana Pfeifer, LCSW, everything you say is 100% confidential.

A counselor can help you restore your confidence and self-esteem.

The emotional impact of divorce can take a toll on your confidence, self-esteem, and general sense of self-worth. When talking with a counselor, you begin to restore areas in your life that bring you joy. Whether it’s starting a new hobby, resurrecting an old hobby, or setting a new goal for yourself, once you start achieving things on your own, you’ll notice that your self-worth grows as well. Raising your self-esteem will give you a more positive outlook on life overall.

Counselors will help you evaluate the role that your own behavior played in the relationship breakdown.

Gain insight into how certain behaviors may have contributed to the divorce, so that you can learn from them now and avoid making similar mistakes in future relationships.

Counseling helps you develop coping skills to deal with stress and anxiety.

Coping skills provide an outlet for your feelings instead of suppressing them or letting them build up inside you. They can include things like meditation, singing, exercise, journaling or even just taking a walk in nature.

When we suppress our emotions, it builds up inside us like steam in a pressure cooker, until eventually, we explode. When we let our emotions out through healthy outlets like talk therapy or exercise class, then the steam is released without causing any damage!

Counseling can help you resolve any conflicts that arise between you and your ex while minimizing the impact on your children.

Counselors understand the importance of communication in a divorce situation, especially when it comes to dealing with sensitive topics like custody arrangements and child support payments. They can also provide guidance on how to communicate effectively with your ex so that any agreements reached are enforceable by the court.

In addition to helping parents navigate conflict resolution, counselors can also help them develop positive relationships with each other’s families and friends. This is especially important if there is an existing bond between your spouse’s mother or father, who may be willing to assist in raising the kids while they’re at school during the day or getting ready for bed at night.

Remember, you don’t have to do it alone.

If you’re struggling with the emotional impact of divorce, professional counseling can help you move forward in a healthy way. With the right support, you can learn how to manage stress and anxiety, develop positive coping skills for dealing with difficult emotions—including depression—and even make peace with your ex as you work together to raise your children.

Reach out to get the help that will give you a bright future after divorce.

How a Mental Health Counselor Can Help You Through Getting a Divorce

Chana Pfeifer: How a Mental Health Counselor Can Help You Through Getting a Divorce

Getting a divorce is one of the most difficult things a person can go through. It’s hard enough to cope with the emotional stress, but when you add in the financial and legal challenges, it can feel overwhelming.

A mental health counselor can help you through this tough time by providing support and guidance.

If you’re considering divorce, or are in the middle of the process, here are a few ways a mental health counselor can help:

1. Dealing with the Emotional Impact

The emotional impact of divorce can be devastating. You may feel like you’ve failed, or that your life is falling apart. A counselor can help you deal with these feelings and start to rebuild your self-esteem.

2. Managing Stress

The stress of divorce can be overwhelming. A counselor can help you find healthy ways to cope with stress and anxiety. They can also teach you relaxation techniques to help you stay calm during this difficult time.

3. Working Through Conflict

Conflict is often a big part of divorce. A counselor can help you learn how to communicate effectively with your ex-spouse, and how to resolve conflicts without resorting to aggression or violence.

4. Coping With Change

Divorce brings about many changes, both big and small. A counselor can help you adjust to these changes and find ways to cope with them in a healthy way.

5. Building a Support Network

One of the biggest challenges after the end of a marriage is rebuilding your support system. A counselor can help you connect with other people who are going through similar experiences, and can offer advice on how to build new relationships.

6. Planning for the Future

After divorce, it’s important to take some time to focus on your own needs and goals. A counselor can help you create a plan for your future, and can offer advice on how to move forward in a positive way.

7. Finding Closure

For many people, divorce is a journey to finding closure. A counselor can help you work through your feelings and find a sense of peace after the end of your marriage.

8. Helping Your Children Cope

If you have children, it’s important to help them through the divorce as well. A counselor can offer guidance on how to talk to your kids about divorce, and can provide support as they adjust to this new reality.

9. Dealing With Financial Challenges

Divorce can also bring financial challenges. A counselor can help you create a budget, and can offer advice on how to manage your finances during this difficult time.

10. Taking Care of Yourself

The process of divorce can be emotionally and physically exhausting. It’s important to take care of yourself during this time, and a counselor can help you find ways to do that. They can offer guidance on healthy coping mechanisms, and can help you create a plan to take care of your physical and mental health.

If you’re considering divorce, or are in the middle of the process, reach out to a mental health counselor for support.

Chana Pfeifer can help you deal with the emotional challenges of divorce, and can offer guidance on how to cope with this difficult time.

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Marriage Counseling in Nassau County, NY

Marriage Counseling in Nassau County, NY with Chana Pfeifer, LCSW

Marriage Counseling in Nassau County, NY

One of the most important aspects of Imago relationship therapy is that it’s not about being right, proving a point, or winning an arguement.

It’s about actively listening, being heard, validation, and being in tune with our partner.

The idea behind Imago therapy is that two people can have completely different views, and it doesn’t mean that one is right and the other is wrong.

To assist the transformation of all relationships, IMAGO RELATIONSHIP THERAPY was created, which is applicable to couples, families, parents, and professionals who seek to be more effective in their life and relationships.

Learn how to connect through differences and become more present in all of your relationships.

When using Imago therapy in marriage counseling, you will learn dialogue techniques that encourages true communication and validation. If you’re looking for the best relationship therapy that can help improve your marriage for the long term, Imago counseling is a good bet.

Get Help From a Licensed Relationship Counselor

Chana Pfeifer LCSW Long IslandFOR OVER 22 YEARS, CHANA PFEIFER HAS BEEN HELPING INDIVIDUALS & COUPLES IN NY ACHIEVE GREATER COPING SKILLS TO MANAGE LIFE’S STRESSES & CHALLENGES.

(516) 592-1107 – Phone, Video, and In-Person Appointments

 

 

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Interested in marriage counseling in Nassau County? Chana assists couples with many types of disconnect:

  • Communication Issues
  • Emotional Neglect
  • Stop celebrating milestones
  • Lack of Romance
  • Resentment
  • Too Much Stress
  • Divorce
  • Infidelity
  • Not Having Fun Together
  • Parenting
  • Pre-Marital Check-Ins
  • Dealing In-Laws
  • Grief / Death of Loved Ones
  • Depression / Anxiety

Whatever form your relationship issues may take, talking with a counselor can help you ease the burden of your emotions. Contact Chana Pfiefer to set up an appointment for individual and/or couples counseling in West Hempstead, NY.

Marriage Counseling in Nassau County, New York

Nassau County is in the state of New York and located east of New York City. Nassau together with Suffolk to its east, are generally referred to as Long Island. Nassau County is the wealthiest county in New York.

A little history of Nassau County, New York:

In 1640, the Dutch controlled Manhattan, then known as New Amsterdam, when a small group of New England British arrived hoping to relocate near Oyster Bay, NY. Dutch authorities soon forced the Englishmen eastward where they eventually established the town of Southampton, NY.

In 1643, another band of adventurous New Englanders crossed the Long Island Sound from Connecticut. The colonists landed at Manhasset Bay, traversed the thick North Shore woodlands, and established the town of Hempstead near clear streams and ponds. The small number of Indians in Nassau declined rapidly through disease brought by the settlers. Today many Native American place names are a reminder of Long Island’s original residents.

In 1670, Daniel Denton reported to England that the inhabitants of Long Island “are blessed with Peace and Plenty, blessed in their Country, blessed in their fields.”

In 1683, Long Island was divided into three counties: Kings, Suffolk, and Queens. Queens included western Long Island, as well as the present day towns of Hempstead and Oyster Bay. The towns grew slowly as a quiet agricultural area through the early 1700’s, although its plains provided ideal sites for colonial horse racing tracks.

In 1898, all the western towns in Queens became part of New York City. The eastern towns–Hempstead, North Hempstead, and Oyster Bay–were excluded from Greater New York but remained part of Queens County.

On January 22nd of that year, a citizens’ meeting in Allen’s Hotel in Mineola set the stage for the secession of the three towns by proposing the creation of a new Nassau County. The name was proposed since it reflects the region’s earliest Dutch and English colonial heritage, and was used for Long Island as the “Isle of Nassau” honoring William III (1650-1702), who was King of England, Stadholder (governor) of the Netherlands, member of the House of Nassau, and great-grandson of the Prince of Orange. After a bitter battle in Albany, the law creating the new county was signed by Governor Frank S. Black on April 27th, to take effect on January 1st of 1899.

County residents elected the officials of the new county and chose the location of the county seat within one mile of the railroad station Mineola. Today, it is still an easy walk from the Mineola railroad station to county buildings actually located in adjacent Garden City.

The courthouse referendum indicates the important role the railroad played in local growth. By the end of the Civil War in 1865, tracks ran along the center, and the north and south shores of the Island. By the turn of the century, the Long Island Rail Road had become the dominant means of transportation to New York city. In 1911, the railroad completed direct rail service to Pennsylvania Station in the heart of Manhattan. The population of Nassau’s small villages along the railroad lines swelled with commuters, leaping from 55,448 in 1900 to 303,053 in 1930.

Towns located along the tracks–Port Washington, Rockville Centre, Freeport among them–experienced rapid growth as the population expanded with commuters and local businesses to support them. Trains and steamboats also brought tourists to the picturesque seaside. Waterfront communities such as Sea Cliff, founded as a Methodist camp meeting ground, blossomed. The wooded North Shore attracted prominent New Yorkers to establish vacation homes.

In the early 1900’s, up to the Depression of the early 1930’s, North Shore farmlands became the site of luxurious country estates for wealthy New Yorkers. The Long Island “Gold Coast” across the entire north shore of Nassau has left a legacy of elegance, open space, and spectacular architecture still evident today.

Even before the Civil War, noted editor William C. Bryant established his country estate, Cedarmere, in Roslyn. In 1899, telegraph company magnate Clarence Mackay erected his 650-acre Harborhill complex, also in Roslyn. In 1885, Theodore Roosevelt built Sagamore Hill at Oyster Bay. Roosevelt reveled in Nassau County life, writing, “There could be no healthier place to bring children up.” Hundreds of thousands of other Nassau residents have agreed for the better part of a century.

As commuter villages grew, the drone of engines from above shattered the peace and quiet of the Hempstead Plains. Early aviators soared overhead, testing their craft above this tremendous, flat, open prairie. Spectators thronged to two nationally significant airstrips: Roosevelt Field, a center of civilian aviation, and nearby Mitchel Field, a major army air base.

The aviation industry mushroomed in Nassau County during World War II. America’s most famous warplanes, vital to victory, were manufactured at the Grumman and Republic factories. There production continued as a major part of the county’s economic base during the post war years, climaxed during the 1960’s when the technicians at Grumman built the Lunar Module which successfully landed on the moon in July 1969.

When the guns of World War II fell silent, the boys came home and another wave of settlers transformed Nassau County. An advertisement in Newsday on May 7th, 1947, offered 2,000 homes for $60 a month in a new development built on the open Hempstead plains. By the end of the month, more than 6,500 veterans had filed applications for the new housing units of Levittown.

A giant population wave changed Nassau County, almost overnight from a rural farming community to the nation’s largest suburb. So frenetic was the growth during the 1950’s that the number of people moving into the county in a single year often surpassed the entire population of 55,448 in 1900. The population doubled in ten years from 1950 to 1960, increasing from 672,000 to 1,300,700, reaching a peak of 1,428,838 in 1970. Major redevelopment of the east/west parkway systems created just before World War II were supplemented by the creation of additional north/south parkways and the Long Island Expressway.

In the subsequent decades of the 1980’s and ’90’s, population growth ceased but the county’s economic base and business/educational/recreational infrastructure changed dramatically as every aspect matured within the changes affecting all of America. Manufacturing, particularly the aviation industry, declined while retail and service employment boomed. A dramatic increase in office construction with some buildings exceeding over 1,000,000 square feet, changed the Nassau horizon and established it as a major place of white collar employment. Nassau County family income is in the top ten percent of the nation with the number one retail sales per household. (source)

Within Nassau County, there are 2 cities, 3 towns, 64 incorporated villages and over 100 unincorporated areas such as:

Atlantic Beach, Village

Baxter Estates, Village
Bayville, Village
Bellerose, Village
Brookville, NY
Cedarhurst, Village
Centre Island, Village
Cove Neck, Village
East Hills, Village
East Rockaway, Village
East Williston, Village
Farmingdale, Village
Floral Park, Village
Flower Hill, Village
Freeport, Village
Garden City, NY
Glen Cove, City
Great Neck Estates, Village
Great Neck Plaza, Village
Great Neck, NY
Hempstead, NY
Hewlett Bay Park, Village
Hewlett Harbor, Village
Hewlett Neck, Village
Island Park, Village
Kensington, Village
Kings Point, NY
Lake Success, Village
Lattingtown, NY
Laurel Hollow, Village
Lawrence, Village
Long Beach, NY
Lynbrook, Village
Malverne, Village
Manorhaven, NY
Massapequa Park, Village
Matinecock, Village
Mill Neck, Village
Mineola, Village
Munsey Park, Village
Muttontown, NY
New Hyde Park, Village
North Hills, Village
Old Brookville, Village
Old Westbury, NY
Oyster Bay Cove, Village
Oyster Bay, Town
Plandome Heights, Village
Plandome Manor, Village
Plandome, Village
Port Washington, NY
Rockville Centre, NY
Roslyn Estates, Village
Roslyn Harbor, Village
Roslyn, Village
Russell Gardens, Village
Saddle Rock, Village
Sands Point, NY
Sea Cliff, Village
South Floral Park, Village
Stewart Manor, Village
Thomaston, Village
Upper Brookville, Village
Valley Stream, NY
Westbury, NY
Williston Park, Village
Woodsburgh, Village

Imago Therapy in West Hempstead, NY

Imago Therapy in West Hempstead, NY with Chana Pfeifer, LCSW

Imago therapy was created by Drs. Harville Hendrix & Helen LaKelly Hunt, internationally-respected couples’ therapists, educators, speakers, and New York Times bestselling authors. Together, they’ve written over 10 books with more than 4 million copies sold including, Getting The Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. In addition, Harville has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey television program 17 times!

Chana Pfeifer, LCSW * The Happier Me
Chana Pfeifer with Harville Hendrix

One of the most important components of Imago therapy is that it’s not about being right. The idea behind Imago therapy is that two people can have completely different world views, and it doesn’t mean that one is right and the other is wrong.

The goal in this is not to be right. It’s not proving a point. It’s about actively listening, being heard, validation, and being in tune with our partner.

To assist the transformation of all relationships, Harville & Helen co-created IMAGO RELATIONSHIP THERAPY, which is applicable to couples, families, parents, and professionals who seek to be more effective in their life and relationships.

Learn how to connect through differences and become more present in all of your relationships.

For additional information on Imago Therapy in West Hempstead, contact Chana Pfeifer, LCSW today.

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Counseling for Grief – Benefits of Therapy for Dealing With Grief

Counseling for grief can be very beneficial in dealing with sad emotions.

It is natural to experience grief when a loved one passes away.

It can be especially hard for people who had a difficult relationship with the person who passed away, or if they did not have time to say goodbye before their loved one died.

“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”
– Dr. Seuss (1904-1991)

Grief is a difficult emotion to deal with, but you don’t have to go through it alone.

Counseling can help you to process your emotions, work through your grief, and develop healthy coping mechanisms. It gives you the opportunity to talk about your loved one, share memories, and express your feelings in a safe and supportive environment.

Grief counseling can help people cope with their loss in a healthy way.

Prevent complicated grief, which is when someone experiences intense grief that lasts for a long time and interferes with their ability to live a normal life. Complicated grief can lead to depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and even suicide. Counseling can help you to avoid these negative outcomes and to find a way to cope with your loss in a healthy way.

Counseling uses natural, evidence-based methods to help people with complicated grief. You’ll learn new skills and techniques to help you cope with your grief that are based on proven research.

Therapy can help people to learn how to live their lives without their loved one.

Grief counseling can help you to learn how to live your life without your loved one. This can be a difficult task. Therapy stops the cycle of grief so that you can start to heal. You’ll learn how to deal with your emotions, how to cope with triggers, and how to develop a new support system. You’ll also learn how to create a new life for yourself without your loved one.

Therapy can help people find meaning in their loss.

Grief counseling can make a world of difference to heal your wounds, remember the good / bad times, and find a way to move forward in your life. You don’t have to go through this alone. Counseling can help you to find meaning in your loss and to develop a new life without your loved one.

Counseling can help you develop a new sense of self.

As you become more comfortable with your new life without your loved one, you’ll develop a new sense of who you are. Counseling can help you by providing support, guidance, and skills to help you cope with your loss.

Other than counseling it can also be helpful to talk to friends and family members who are supportive and understanding. Sometimes, it can be helpful to read books or articles about grief or to join a support group for people who are grieving. Remember, there is no right or wrong way to grieve, and you will eventually find your own way to cope with your loss.

To sum it all up, grief counseling can help you starting from today. It will change the way you look at death, your relationship with the deceased, and how you live your life from here on out.

Contact me to set up an appointment.

Do yourself a favor: See a premarital counselor before getting married.

Getting married is a huge step in life. It’s a commitment that should not be taken lightly. And, like any other important decision, it’s best to approach it with as much information and preparation as possible. That’s where seeing a premarital counselor comes in.

Premarital counseling is a type of therapy that can help couples prepare for marriage. It’s an opportunity to identify and work through any potential issues that might arise in the relationship. Counseling can also help couples build a strong foundation for their future together.

If you’re considering getting married, talking with a premarital counselor is a great way to start off on the right foot. It can help you and your partner learn more about each other and identify any areas that need work. Counseling can also provide a space for you to openly discuss your expectations, goals, and fears about marriage.

If you’re not sure if premarital counseling is right for you, here are a few things to consider:

  • Are you and your partner on the same page about your relationship?
  • Do you have concerns or deal-breakers that could affect your marriage?
  • Are you both committed to working through problems together?
  • Do you want to learn more about your partner before getting married?
  • Are you willing to openly discuss sensitive topics with a counselor?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, premarital counseling could be a good fit for you.

Why premarital counseling is a must before you get married:

It can help you and your partner learn more about each other.

Premarital counseling is a great way to get to know your partner on a deeper level. It’s an opportunity to discuss your hopes, dreams, and fears about marriage. Counseling can also help you learn more about your partner’s communication style and how they handle conflict. This knowledge can be invaluable as you navigate the ups and downs of married life.

It can identify potential areas of conflict.

No relationship is perfect, and all couples will face challenges at some point. Premarital counseling can help you and your partner identify any potential areas of conflict. This knowledge can help you develop strategies for dealing with these issues if they arise in the future.

It can help you build a strong foundation for your marriage.

Premarital counseling is an opportunity to discuss your expectations, goals, and values about marriage. It’s a chance to set the tone for your future together. Counseling can also help you learn how to communicate effectively and resolve conflict in a healthy way. These skills will be essential as you navigate the ups and downs of married life.

Getting married is a big step, and it’s natural to feel some anxiety about the future. Speaking with a premarital counselor can provide peace of mind by helping you & your partner address concerns you have about marriage. Counseling can help you develop realistic expectations about married life. This knowledge can help you approach your marriage with confidence.

If you’re considering getting married, premarital counseling is a great way to start off on the right foot. It can help you and your partner learn more about each other, identify potential areas of conflict, and build a strong foundation for your future together.

If you’re interested in premarital counseling, contact me for more information.

Healthy couples get help when conflict around in-laws is problematic.

Counseling with Chana Pfeifer, LCSW: Conflict Around In-Laws

Are you arguing about your parents or your partner’s parents a lot?

Do you try to talk about it, but end up always arguing instead?

Are there hurt feelings / unsaid things piling up on either side?

If so, you may be caught up in a negative cycle. It may be time to get help for your relationship before the hurts start to pile up. Healthy couples get help when conflict around in-laws becomes problematic.

Regardless of what’s causing the friction, couples report that long-term stress is a consequence of having difficulties with family members. There starts to be a  dread of family gatherings for the distress and exchanges they can invite.

What can you do? Establish boundaries early.

You may need to start out with gentle reminders, as things are unlikely to change overnight.

This can be done compassionately, but firmly. Overall, your approach needs to be strict in consistently enforcing the boundaries you’ve drawn. If the situation allows, be friendly, tactful, straightforward, and respectful. Think of how you’d handle a disagreeable situation with a co-worker.

If, however, your in-laws continue to disrespect your boundaries and wishes, you may need to approach them with a little less tact. Think of a boss putting an employee in his place. No matter what, establish boundaries early.

A lot of couples will not draw their boundaries until they have to. You can avoid a great deal of heartache, disappointment, and distress by letting your limits be known early on.

I would love to help you sort through in-law difficulties in your relationship so you can have harmony within your family.

Let’s see how we can help you resolve these dilemmas and renew the love, trust, connection you long to have.

Contact me for more information on therapy today.

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Premarital Counseling: Relationships with In-Laws

Premarital Counseling with Chana Pfeifer, LCSW in Long Island, NY – Relationships with the Family & In-Laws

Your relationship with your partner’s parents and family may be one of the most significant relationships in your married life.

It is important at the outset of your marriage, and in the first years of your marriage to understand these relationships and what blessings and also difficulties may be ahead for you and your spouse.

Below are a few important relationship aspects to think about before getting married:

1. List a few character traits / attributes about your partner’s parents that you really like. Why do you like these attributes?

2. What kind of involvement do you expect and / or want from your in-laws? Do you like over-involvement (closeness) more than under-involvement (distance) as a general rule (or visa versa)?

3. How do you feel about your spouse’s relationship with his / her parents?

4. What kind of relationship do you think you have with your in-laws? What kind of relationship do you want?

5. Do you look at your in-laws as mostly a help or a hindrance in your upcoming or current marriage?

6. Do your partner’s parents generally respect your boundaries?

These are just a few things to think about before getting married. In premarital counseling, you and your future spouse will go through everything you feel is important so you both feel secure knowing that you are marring the right person.

Dealing with in-laws doesn’t have to be a contentious situation. I can help you learn how to communicate, relate, and remain patient even in the midst of problematic family members.

For more information on premarital counseling, or if you have questions on how to deal with your in-laws, contact me.

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