stress Archives ⋆ Chana Pfeifer

Handling Distress with Radical Acceptance to Stay Balanced

Sometimes you’ll run into a problem that’s simply out of your control. It can be easy to think, “This isn’t fair..” or “I shouldn’t have this problem..” That kind of mindset only prolongs the pain and the problem. Instead of focusing on your negative emotions, practice radical acceptance in the present moment.

Example: you are in horrible traffic on your way home from work. Instead of becoming belligerent about the situation you are literally stuck in, focus on how you can enjoy this very moment for what it is. Do you listen to a long but intellectual podcast? Do you call someone you haven’t spoken with in a while? Spin the negative situation into a positive and you’ll practice radical acceptance for what it is.

Pain on its own can be difficult. But it’s only when you don’t accept it that it turns into suffering.

Practicing non-attachment does not mean not feeling your emotions. Rather, it refers to an intention of not allowing your pain to turn into suffering.

“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Radical acceptance refers to a healthier way of thinking during already stressful situations. Instead of focusing on how you’d like something / someone to be different, recognize and accept the situation as it is right now. Remember: accepting is not the same as liking or condoning it.

When a person utilizes denial or another defense mechanism, they often end up feeling worse and in more distress because they’re not accepting the reality of the situation. Radical acceptance is a tool to help you see the present moment for what it is and look at it more objectively, rather than purely emotionally.

Learning to accept problems (as they are right now) that are out of your control, will lead to less anxiety, anger, and sadness while you’re dealing with them.

If you’d like information on individual counseling in Long Island, New York, contact Chana Pfeifer, LCSW.

Managing stress from a divorce & ways that counseling can help.

Managing Stress From A Divorce: finding healthy ways to cope with counseling.

There are so many things to think about when going through a divorce, and it can be difficult to find the strength to take any action. Even worse, you may feel like you’re completely alone in your pain because nobody really understands what you’re going through.

During this time, counseling can be a lifeline for many people. It’s not just about talking through your problems; it’s about connecting with someone who understands and can help you figure out where to go from here.

Counseling provides support, new perspectives on old issues, and strategies for moving forward into a brighter future.

Separation is never easy. It’s very painful to end a marriage, and it can be even more difficult when there are children involved in the breakup. But remember that you’re not alone—lots of people are going through this right now, and lots of people have gone through it before you!

It’s also important to remember that it’s not your fault. Divorce is never any one person’s “fault.” Often there are things we could have done differently or better in the relationships that may have led us down the path toward separation/divorce. It can help to talk about these regrets with someone who understands what you’re going through.

You’re going through a big transition, and it can be difficult to see the positive side of things. You’re leaving behind your life as you knew it and creating a new one that’s different from what you expected. You might feel like no matter what you do, nothing is getting better or easier. But with time and patience, you’ll find healthy ways to cope and ultimately heal.

You are not alone. You may feel like you are, but you’re not. This is a common experience and many have gone through this same experience and have managed to move on with their lives. It’s important that you understand that even though it feels like your life will never be the same again and that you will never be able to go back to who you were before, it’s possible that one day those feelings will fade away and become part of your past.

Accepting the pain can help you feel better faster. It’s important to remember that for many people, feeling this pain is a normal part of the healing process. In fact, you may never completely accept what has happened in your marriage. However, acceptance can help you move forward and find peace.

Acceptance doesn’t mean that what happened is okay—it doesn’t mean that you have to like it or forgive the other person. Acceptance means recognizing reality and moving on with your life despite what happened in the past.

Take steps toward what you need for self-care. Some examples of self-care include getting out of the house if possible. Being active is good for both your mind and body, so consider going on walks, running errands or even going to an arcade! Or eating healthy foods that make you feel energized. Make sure to eat enough protein to help manage any stress or negative emotions, as well as vegetables that are rich in vitamins A and C as they help strengthen your immune system.

Starting over is scary, but it’s exciting too. It’s difficult to let go of the idea that you will always be with your ex-spouse, in part because you’ve probably spent a lot of time and energy defining yourself as “a couple.” After the divorce is final, however, there are new ways to define yourself and your future—and yes, that can feel scary at first. But it can also be exciting; for example:

You have the chance to start fresh without carrying baggage from your previous relationship into another one later on! This gives you an opportunity to practice being single again (which isn’t easy but also isn’t impossible!)

Counseling helps you remember that everything will be alright when you don’t feel like it will be. Speaking with a counselor can help you process emotions and feelings in a controlled environment without having to worry about what your ex is thinking or feeling.

A therapist will provide an outside opinion about what is going on and what steps you should take next. They can also provide support for any mental health issues that arise from having gone through such an experience.

Consider finding a therapist to help you through this difficult process. Get in touch with Chana Pfeifer, LCSW here!

Mental Health Counseling for Teenagers

The teenage phase is one of the most confusing phases of one’s life. Hormones are rushing, your body is drastically changing, and your emotions are all over the place. It’s normal to go through an identity crisis of sorts and get into experimenting. Teenage years are a time when we start to define who we are, our thoughts, our likes/dislikes, the set of beliefs we have, and what we want to be later in life. This can often lead to negative body image, low self-esteem, eating disorders, anxiety and even substance abuse issues.

There’s many reasons why parents seek out mental health counseling for teenagers.

Anger Management: Anger is a natural emotion. While getting angry is normal, getting into a rage is not. If anger is expressed violently, it is a matter of concern. Anger management techniques can help your kid control their temper. Counselling can significantly help your kid’s anger problems. Therapists can also show kids practical coping skills to use when they experience anger.

Depression: Mood swings are common in teenagers but mood disorders are cautionary. These can often be indicators of underlying conditions such as depression. If your kid seems sad, easily irritated or withdrawn, ask if seeing a counselor would help.

Anxiety: Anxiety can often be a result of academic pressure, peer pressure, and so on. Although some teenagers experience extreme anxiety, these indicators should not be ignored, especially during a global pandemic.

Stress: During this stressful time of lockdown, no one is immune to it. Therapy can help teenagers (and adults alike) reduce their stress levels without losing their productivity.

Low self-esteem: It’s common to experience low self-esteem, but some can experience serious low self-esteem issues, especially driven from social media and the endless supply of triggering images. When such problems are left unaddressed, teens are can be exposed to issues such as substance abuse, body dysmorphic disorder, etc.

Trauma: Abuse, violence, near-death experiences, severe injury, or losing a loved one can have a lifelong impact on teens. These traumatic events can affect them and hold them back. Intervention in the early stages can help teens recover from the trauma in the healthiest way possible.

A licensed clinical social worker can help your teenager if they are suffering from any type of mental health issue. Contact Chana for additional information on counseling for teenagers.

Chana is seeing teenagers virtually and in-person, socially-distanced & masked.

Therapy for Infertility

Receiving a diagnosis of infertility can cause significant stress in multiple areas of functioning. This can manifest itself through both internal and interpersonal distress or conflicts.

It is not uncommon to develop anxiety and/or depression related to reproductive problems.

Common feelings can include: guilt, shame, helplessness.

Although women can be more susceptible to the effects of infertility-related stress, men are also vulnerable.

This stress can be accompanied by reduced self-esteem and difficulties with identity. It is common to practice maladaptive defense mechanisms such as avoidance, withdrawal, or denial. Unfortunately, this can further exacerbate psychological and emotional distress.

A tumultuous wave of emotions experienced by both partners during this process can lead to relationship conflicts if not addressed properly.

Individuals within a couple may feel insufficient, dejected, or worthless. Infertility-related stress may also coincide with sexual dysfunction. A spouse may feel the need to hide or minimize their feelings to reduce the amount of strain on their partner. Using such defense methods to ameliorate critical issues can be even more psychologically stressful than the problem itself.

If dealing with reproductive issues, you may be reluctant to reach out for help. You may feel overwhelmed about the future. It is important to remember that you are not alone. Counseling can provide a productive outlet for troubling emotions and a safe place to process and heal.

To better understand the factors involved in your family’s crisis, a licensed counselor can assess your history as well as your current state. Information regarding your symptoms and situational factors can help create a personalized treatment plan for you and/or your family.

A diagnosis of infertility or other reproductive issues may also present a variety of options for alternative conception or adoption. These decisions can be life-changing for all involved. If you are struggling with depression and high stress, it can be difficult to have the ability to think clearly moving forward. A counselor can help you explore the different options you may have and the possible ramifications of each.

Therapeutic treatment can be directed towards optimizing the self as well as strengthening communication with your partner.

Turning counterproductive defense mechanisms into healthy coping strategies can help you regain a calm sense of strength and confidence.

A non-judgmental therapy space can enhance your holistic well-being while renewing both your internal state of mind and your relationships.

For more info. on counseling, call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer, LCSW today

2019 Goodbyes & 2020’s Hellos

2019 Goodbyes & 2020’s Hellos

Somehow I am so excited 2019 is over. I have plenty to be grateful for, and lots to say good bye to.

I’d like to say goodbye to fear of the unknown.

2020’s hellos, I’d like to invite in curiosity of what lies ahead.

I want to let go of worrying about “not enough.”

I want to bring on noticing what I have, and bring on abundance. That it is okay to have a lot of connection, love, and even money (in theory).

I want to say, “don’t let the door hit you on the way out” to being so stressed.

I invite in noticing I am relaxed sometimes. When I’m not, I am really good at using the tools I teach in my office. I can breathe, do yoga, bring in positive thoughts, and a lot of the time, they work.

Goodbye 2019! I am really looking forward to 2020 being different.

2020’s Hellos:

Thursday, January 30, 2020: Reconnect in 2020 Couples Check-In Workshop

Class lead by Chana Pfeifer, LCSW & Imago Relationship Therapist

Get ready for a healthier relationship in 2020.

Attend this couples’ class on mastering connecting the modern way.

Awareness and communication are what makes a relationship work.

ANOZ Spa Boutique
281 Nassau Blvd. Garden City South, NY 11530

Divorce Counseling Long Island

Chana Pfeifer, LCSW – Divorce Counseling Long Island, NY

The termination of a marriage can be a process charged with many emotions, and often these feelings seem overwhelming.

Throughout the initiation, proceedings, and aftermath of a divorce, it is helpful to have a judgement free space in which you can communicate your feelings and better understand those of others involved. Whether the decision has been made due to discord within the relationship, infidelity, financial difficulties, abuse, addiction, or other factors, a solution-based divorce counselor can be your balance in a time of chaos.

Some of the anxieties of divorce can cause a wide range of issues, both internally and inter-personally.

Emotional, psychological, and even physical health issues are common reactions to such a monumental life change. Unhealthy coping mechanisms can arise due to the stress and emotional pain of divorce, often leading to increased aggression between parties and acceleration of self-destructive behaviors. When enduring such a dramatic phase change, personal priorities and future plans can become difficult to envision.

During and after the process, both children and adults face the challenges of balancing multiple facets of health whilst in a delicate state.

If children are involved, they may feel additional stress due to the parents’ personal and emotional biases without having anyone outside the family with whom to communicate their concerns. Allowing children to freely express their emotions in a neutral environment can facilitate their adjustment significantly.

Employing the help of a divorce counselor can make the transition more navigable in all aspects of one’s health and success. A counselor can help explain how to overcome emotions such as anger, grief, depression, and insecurity during and after the divorce process.

Unbiased mediation of conflict between spouses is quintessential to healthy progress.

This includes helping you and your former spouse accommodate differing points of view in a way that is mutually beneficial. Through counseling, it is possible to develop a cooperative relationship based on healthy communication.

While you are dealing with the internal stresses that result from divorce, a counselor can help you develop healthy defense mechanisms to protect yourself from undue pain and stress, while strengthening yourself by promoting healthy acclimation to a new future. Communicating in a safe, non-judgmental environment can fortify the health of the entire family. The advice of a counselor can help you face current difficulties and the future with certainty, confidence, and peace.

For additional information, call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer at TheHappierMe.LCSW@gmail.com.

Divorce counseling Long Island – Read more reviews on Facebook.