anger Archives ⋆ Chana Pfeifer

Handling Distress with Radical Acceptance to Stay Balanced

Sometimes you’ll run into a problem that’s simply out of your control. It can be easy to think, “This isn’t fair..” or “I shouldn’t have this problem..” That kind of mindset only prolongs the pain and the problem. Instead of focusing on your negative emotions, practice radical acceptance in the present moment.

Example: you are in horrible traffic on your way home from work. Instead of becoming belligerent about the situation you are literally stuck in, focus on how you can enjoy this very moment for what it is. Do you listen to a long but intellectual podcast? Do you call someone you haven’t spoken with in a while? Spin the negative situation into a positive and you’ll practice radical acceptance for what it is.

Pain on its own can be difficult. But it’s only when you don’t accept it that it turns into suffering.

Practicing non-attachment does not mean not feeling your emotions. Rather, it refers to an intention of not allowing your pain to turn into suffering.

“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Radical acceptance refers to a healthier way of thinking during already stressful situations. Instead of focusing on how you’d like something / someone to be different, recognize and accept the situation as it is right now. Remember: accepting is not the same as liking or condoning it.

When a person utilizes denial or another defense mechanism, they often end up feeling worse and in more distress because they’re not accepting the reality of the situation. Radical acceptance is a tool to help you see the present moment for what it is and look at it more objectively, rather than purely emotionally.

Learning to accept problems (as they are right now) that are out of your control, will lead to less anxiety, anger, and sadness while you’re dealing with them.

If you’d like information on individual counseling in Long Island, New York, contact Chana Pfeifer, LCSW.

Counseling to Help Deal with Emotional Triggers

Emotional triggers can be defined as memories, thoughts, situations or experiences that cause significant distress.

Although they can be a component of trauma-related conditions such as PTSD, they also play a role in anxiety and depression. Whether associated with a traumatic experience of the past or amplified by anxiety, emotional triggers can have negative effects in your life.

The reactivity you may feel to certain events or memories can manifest in a variety of ways.

Emotional outbursts may be directed at others or turned inwards, resulting in immense discomfort. The continued cycle of triggers, distress and avoidance can be exhausting in itself, leaving little space to understand or reduce their frequency and severity.

Common reactions to emotional triggers may include fear, sadness, anger or any number of intense emotions. It may manifest in a physical sense similar to anxiety, with reactions such as a racing heart, nausea, sweating, shaking and/or shortness of breath. When triggered, it may be easy to lash out at others, provoking even more tension and emotional turmoil.

Although one’s immediate reaction to such unpleasant experiences may be to limit exposure to such stressors, avoidance can lead to additional anxiety. It’s important to understand and develop strategies that can help mitigate the stress and fear associated with such situations. Rather than letting such apprehension disrupt your daily activities, learning healthy coping mechanisms can bring immense healing.

A fresh perspective can make a difference in your perception of emotional triggers. Although some triggers may not have a clear origin, taking the time to explore them in a calm, safe environment can be the key to unlocking their mystery.

The guidance of a counselor can help you decode, process and heal from emotional triggers.

In addition to providing a comfortable space to heal from past traumas, therapy can help you develop a holistic plan for the future. Through therapy, one can begin to recognize and take control over situations and memories that trigger emotional discomfort.

Chana Pfeifer can help you begin healing from the effects of triggers and emotional stressors. Together, you can develop a robust plan to experience relief and learn strategies to cope with potential emotional triggers.

Chana offers virtual and in-person, socially-distanced counseling services with a therapeutic plan customized to your individual needs. If you are struggling with the effects of emotional triggers, don’t hesitate to contact Chana today to begin your journey of healing.

For more info. on counseling, call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer, LCSW today.

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Accepted Insurance Plans: Aetna

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Grief Counseling Long Island

Processing grief due to the death of a spouse or partner can be a turbulent journey of emotional, psychological, and physical pain. The grieving process is different for every individual and it is essential that one has the opportunity to process the entire spectrum of emotions. Grief counseling can be a healthy way to cope with any emotions that may come up.

Constant shifting of emotional tides can be overwhelming in one’s delicate state following a loss.

Although individual experiences of grief can differ for everyone, the process has often been categorized into stages, most commonly that of Kübler-Ross (1969) which outlines them as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Most often, the lines surrounding these stages are blurred and can incorporate many complex emotions not indicated in the model. Traumatic circumstances surrounding the death can be additional barriers to the healing process.

Initially, it is normal to be unwilling to accept that a loved one has died, feeling emotionally numb, or avoiding things related to the grief. One may feel anger directed towards life, oneself, others, and the loss itself. The bargaining stage can bring about a cyclic state of questioning about alternative outcomes or what could have been done to prevent the death. Depression manifests itself in various ways and is often accompanied by deep sadness, hopelessness, and isolation. These are normal reactions to loss.

Recognizing and processing feelings is necessary to progress to eventual acceptance. Unfortunately, it can be difficult to express one’s distress to close friends or family members. One might feel a sense of loneliness and detachment. Since this can lead to unhealthy repression, it is greatly beneficial to have a trained professional to talk to.

Persistent grief, that seems to worsen instead of improve over a long period of time, can be greatly detrimental to one’s health. Some characteristics of this typically include a separation from one’s identity, overwhelming guilt and longing, total denial and refusal of reality, or a desire to die so that one can reconnect with the deceased. In these cases, it is especially critical to seek therapy.

Counseling can provide judgement-free support to process pain and alleviate deep internal chaos associated with feelings of grief and the mourning process.

A counselor can help explain and validate difficult thoughts and emotions following the loss of a spouse/friend/family member. Therapy facilitates one’s ability to focus on positive memories of the loved one while employing healthy coping strategies.

For additional info. about grief counseling, call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer at TheHappierMe.LCSW@gmail.com.

Divorce Counseling Long Island

Chana Pfeifer, LCSW – Divorce Counseling Long Island, NY

The termination of a marriage can be a process charged with many emotions, and often these feelings seem overwhelming.

Throughout the initiation, proceedings, and aftermath of a divorce, it is helpful to have a judgement free space in which you can communicate your feelings and better understand those of others involved. Whether the decision has been made due to discord within the relationship, infidelity, financial difficulties, abuse, addiction, or other factors, a solution-based divorce counselor can be your balance in a time of chaos.

Some of the anxieties of divorce can cause a wide range of issues, both internally and inter-personally.

Emotional, psychological, and even physical health issues are common reactions to such a monumental life change. Unhealthy coping mechanisms can arise due to the stress and emotional pain of divorce, often leading to increased aggression between parties and acceleration of self-destructive behaviors. When enduring such a dramatic phase change, personal priorities and future plans can become difficult to envision.

During and after the process, both children and adults face the challenges of balancing multiple facets of health whilst in a delicate state.

If children are involved, they may feel additional stress due to the parents’ personal and emotional biases without having anyone outside the family with whom to communicate their concerns. Allowing children to freely express their emotions in a neutral environment can facilitate their adjustment significantly.

Employing the help of a divorce counselor can make the transition more navigable in all aspects of one’s health and success. A counselor can help explain how to overcome emotions such as anger, grief, depression, and insecurity during and after the divorce process.

Unbiased mediation of conflict between spouses is quintessential to healthy progress.

This includes helping you and your former spouse accommodate differing points of view in a way that is mutually beneficial. Through counseling, it is possible to develop a cooperative relationship based on healthy communication.

While you are dealing with the internal stresses that result from divorce, a counselor can help you develop healthy defense mechanisms to protect yourself from undue pain and stress, while strengthening yourself by promoting healthy acclimation to a new future. Communicating in a safe, non-judgmental environment can fortify the health of the entire family. The advice of a counselor can help you face current difficulties and the future with certainty, confidence, and peace.

For additional information, call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer at TheHappierMe.LCSW@gmail.com.

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