Tag: couples counselor West Hempstead

Why do couples fight?

Why do couples fight?

According to Dr. Harville Hendrix, (one of the founders of Imago Relationship Therapy along with his wife Helen LaKelly Hunt), after looking at couples for 8 years, came to a conclusion that they fight for a core reason:

“They experience a disconnection from each other and want the connection back, so they project the responsibility of that disconnection onto each other; each couple then defends against taking responsibility for it, which of course increases the disconnection. So fundamentally, it’s sort of a paradox that couples fight in order to get connected, and the fighting actually results in having them become more disconnected. Basically, couples fight because of a disconnect and they don’t like it.”

If you live on Long Island and would like more information on Imago Relationship Therapy, contact Chana Pfeifer, LCSW.

You can also call Chana at (516) 592-1107.

Offices in both Cedarhurst & West Hempstead, New York

COUNSELING FOR COUPLES IN A SAFE, SUPPORTIVE PLACE

If your relationship is distressed, a Long Island marriage counselor can provide you with a greater understanding of your relationship, a way to use your challenges as the opportunities they are for deeper connection, and a road map for repair.

The 4 Pillars of a Partnership:

While working on problems is one way to improve a long-term relationship, it’s just as important to reflect on your partner’s good qualities and the positive aspects of your connection. Below you can find what the 4 pillars of a partnership entail.

Can you be your true self around your partner?  Is your dynamic mostly drama-free and peaceful?  Do you have a friendship, as well as feelings of lust?  Do you work well as a team?  Is your partner inspiring you to be a better person / supporting you emotionally?  Is there trust and open communication?

Here’s a checklist for a sustainable relationship from Amy Chan / Breakup Bootcamp Founder (@missamychan on Instagram). She helps people create healthy relationships.

The 4 Pillars of a Partnership:

  1. Chemistry – connection and attraction

  2. Compatibility – alignment of values and vision

  3. Timing – if it’s the perfect person at the wrong time, it’s the wrong person

  4. Mutuality – two people who are equally invested in building the relationship and have the ability and capacity to do so

Spend a few minutes reflecting on how each of these apply to your relationship. Chances are, you won’t have everything in balance, but that’s ok. The lesson here isn’t to pretend like your relationship doesn’t have issues, or obsess about the things that are lacking. There’s a lot there when you know what to look for. Keep in mind, that’s there’s always room for improvement in any relationship.

If you are looking for more information about Imago relationship counseling on Long Island, contact us.

With the professional guidance of a licensed counselor, couples can develop adaptive strategies to resolve conflicts and address challenges together with confidence.

CHANA PFEIFER, LCSW IN WEST HEMPSTEAD, NY

(516) 592-1107

Individual, premarital, and couples therapy provided in a confidential and supportive atmosphere.

Offices available in:

West Hempstead, NY – Chana Pfeifer
Huntington, NY – Robin Newman
Miller Place, NY – David Weber

In pre-marital therapy, parenting techniques & roles are discussed openly.

Marriage and parenting can be two of the most rewarding and daunting life events. Some couples may opt for pre-marital therapy, which can allow them to resolve differences and evaluate future plans in a therapeutic environment. Pre-marital counseling can have a multitude of benefits and provide a stable basis for the journey of marriage.

Many topics can be addressed in pre-marital counseling, touching on the key factors that often divide people in a relationship.

Some of these may include finances, conflict resolution techniques, parenting strategies and communication. Even when couples are basking in the joy of a healthy relationship, they can easily forget to clearly define expectations for the relationship and concepts of what the marriage should look like.

Making the transition into being a new parent while balancing the stress of marriage can be difficult. While parenting a child can bring immense joy, it can also be a source of contention in relationships. Differences in parenting styles, financial stress, and unclear parenting roles can all cause excess strain on a marriage. Discussing these potential struggles ahead of time is a proactive way to reduce uncertainty and develop healthy strategies with your spouse.

In counseling, parenting techniques and roles can be discussed openly in a safe, neutral space.

You can work together to cultivate effective communication and compromise on the differences you and your partner may have. With the professional guidance of a licensed counselor, couples can develop adaptive strategies to resolve conflicts and address challenges together with confidence.

Pre-marital therapy offers benefits for every couple, from the strong, healthy relationships, to ones in which you may feel disconnected from your partner. Chana Pfeifer has many years of experience guiding couples and offers pre-marital counseling at a convenient location in West Hempstead, Long Island.

If you and your future spouse are looking to cultivate a strong foundation for a lifelong commitment, don’t hesitate to reach out today.