Imago relationship therapy Archives ⋆ Chana Pfeifer

Why do couples fight?

Why do couples fight?

According to Dr. Harville Hendrix, (one of the founders of Imago Relationship Therapy along with his wife Helen LaKelly Hunt), after looking at couples for 8 years, came to a conclusion that they fight for a core reason:

“They experience a disconnection from each other and want the connection back, so they project the responsibility of that disconnection onto each other; each couple then defends against taking responsibility for it, which of course increases the disconnection. So fundamentally, it’s sort of a paradox that couples fight in order to get connected, and the fighting actually results in having them become more disconnected. Basically, couples fight because of a disconnect and they don’t like it.”

If you live on Long Island and would like more information on Imago Relationship Therapy, contact Chana Pfeifer, LCSW.

You can also call Chana at (516) 592-1107.

Offices in both Cedarhurst & West Hempstead, New York

COUNSELING FOR COUPLES IN A SAFE, SUPPORTIVE PLACE

If your relationship is distressed, a Long Island marriage counselor can provide you with a greater understanding of your relationship, a way to use your challenges as the opportunities they are for deeper connection, and a road map for repair.

Marriage Counselor in Nassau County, NY

Chana Pfeifer, LCSW, Marriage Counselor Nassau County, NY – seeing individuals and pairs in her office in Long Island, New York. She uses techniques from Imago Relationship Therapy, developed by Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt in 1980.

Imago is a form of relationship / couples therapy that focuses on transforming conflict into healing and growth through relational connection.

Through Imago Relationship Therapy, couples can understand each other’s feelings and “childhood wounds” more empathically, allowing them to heal themselves and their relationships and move toward a more conscious relationship.

Get marriage counseling in Nassau County, NY while staying connected.

Learn how to connect through differences and become more present in all of your relationships, not just your marriage.

Chana has been in the field for over 25 years & LOVEs what she does.

As a certified Imago Therapist and licensed clinical social worker, she helps couples and individuals work to establish new, healthy patterns, and break long-standing dysfunctional patterns.

“I encourage owning responsibility in life and take a holistic approach. My practice is solution-based; I give life-changing tools leading to eventual independence.

My specialty is in relationships.

I deal with many different people, couples’ challenging relationships, separation, blended families and geriatrics. I use practical tools so couples can communicate effectively, whether they stay together or not. I feel the variety of many issues keeps my skills as a licensed clinical social worker sharp.”

Chana Pfeifer is currently seeing clients through telehealth virtual platforms and in-person (socially-distanced) at her West Hempstead, NY office.

Conversational Dialogue in Imago Relationship Therapy

Here is an example of how conversational dialogue in Imago Relationship Therapy works. This type of dialogue can be applied to appreciations, like in this video, and also for dealing with disagreements. It can be used for couples and also for any type of relationship.

One thing I appreciate about you as a partner / spouse / significant other:

First, Leora makes an appointment with Igor:

“I’d like to dialogue with you about an appreciation I have for you, is now a good time?”

After Leora finishes her statement, Igor repeats what he hears back to her:

“What I’m hearing you say is _______________________. Did I get that?

Leora then has a chance to say whether or not Igor received her message the right way. She responds with a yes or no.

Igor then asks:

Is there more?”

This gives Leora a chance to elaborate if she feels there’s more to say.

Igor then repeats the new information back to confirm that he heard her message correctly.

That’s about it in regards to the basics of conversational dialogue in Imago Relationship Therapy.

This lets the speakers feel heard and the listeners learn how to fully hear what their partner is saying. After the speaker is done, the roles switch and now the listener has a chance to talk.

Tag: Imago relationship therapy