What does emotional manipulation look like?

manipulation

Manipulation is when they blame you for your reaction to their toxic behavior, but never discuss their disrespect that triggered you.

When someone uses your emotions to get what they want, steer your behavior, or influence your ideals, it’s known as emotional manipulation.

Emotional manipulation can wear many faces. It can come in anger, disappointment, ridicule, or guilt. Gaslighting and love bombing are also forms of emotional manipulation.

Here’s emotional abuse tactics and what they may sound like:

  • Guilt: “If you loved me, you wouldn’t do that.”
  • Criticism: “You never do anything right.”
  • Isolation: “You’re picking your friends and family over me.”
  • Humiliation: “I’ll take you out to eat when you lose some weight.”
  • Threatening: “If you ever do that again, you’ll be sorry.”
  • Blaming: “Look what you made me do.”
  • Accusing: “I know you’re being unfaithful.”
  • Infidelity: “I could do better than you anytime I want.”

Emotional abuse leads to conditions such as:

  • low self-esteem
  • depression
  • anxiety
  • substance abuse
  • post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

If you feel as though someone is manipulating your emotions, it’s OK to step away from the situation to gather your thoughts. Practice stating your own needs, desires, and boundaries clearly and without apology. The more comfortable you are with direct communication, the easier it is to spot manipulation from others.

Dealing with emotional manipulation is difficult because it can lead you to question yourself and your judgment.

When emotional abuse negatively impacts your life, consider seeking support & guidance from a MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL. Contact us.

A Grief Counselor To Help You Handle The Holidays With Ease

Complicated feelings typically arise during the holidays under any circumstance, but struggling with feelings of grief can make this time even more challenging. Grief counselor Chana Pfeifer, LCSW, can give you the support you need to get through the holidays with grace.

Holidays are difficult for people who’ve experienced the death of a loved one.

Any type of sound, sight and/or smell can trigger feelings of sadness, anger, emptiness, anxiety… the list goes on.

While you can’t change the situation for what it is, what you can control is your inner state of being. Does this mean not crying or feeling down? Of course not. Let yourself cry if you need it. Allow yourself to feel your feelings.

What you can control during times of grief is how you take care of your body & mind, so be realistic in your expectations during this time.

Grief can consume most of your physical and emotional energy no matter what the season. The holidays place additional demands and stress on your life. Respect what your body / mind is telling you. If you feel tired, take care of yourself as if you were physically sick. The mind and body work together.

It’s important to be aware of your limitations so you don’t overextend yourself, causing more stress. Consider changing your traditions to reduce stress. Limit social / family commitments to suit your available energy. Re-evaluate priorities and forego unnecessary activities and obligations. Keeping busy may distract you from your grief temporarily, but it may increase your stress too.

Handling the Holidays – Grief Counseling Services in Nassau County, New York.

There is no right way to move through this time of year, but it can be helpful to think about what values, traditions, and memories you want to share. Remember that grief has no expiration date— it is okay to feel how you feel.

Self-care and mindfulness are vital tools in navigating the holidays. Give yourself permission to rest. Allow feelings to come and go; the holidays don’t need to be perfect (they won’t be), so be gentle with yourself.

CHANA PFEIFER provides guidance & support so that you can find peace throughout the holiday season.

If you need someone to vent to with 100% confidentiality, or you would like help discovering coping strategies for dealing with the holidays, contact Chana Pfeifer, LCSW today. In-person and telehealth services available.

Counseling To Help Women Suffering From Postpartum Depression

Postpartum depression is a serious and often misunderstood condition that occurs to some women after childbirth.

The postpartum period generally includes the first 4 – 6 weeks after birth, but PPD can also develop during pregnancy and up to 1 year after giving birth, so don’t discount your feelings if they’re happening outside of the typical postpartum period.

Many women don’t seek out postpartum depression counseling because they aren’t sure how counseling could help them or if it’s worth the cost.

Your body and mind go through many changes during and after pregnancy. If you feel empty, emotionless, sad most of the time, or you feel like you don’t love or care for your baby, you might have postpartum depression.

How do I know if I need counseling for postpartum depression?

Here’s a list of some signs and symptoms of postpartum depression:

  • feeling sad most of the time / cry often
  • insomnia
  • loss of appetite
  • intense irritability
  • worrying excessively or feeling on edge
  • difficulty bonding with baby
  • lack of interest in your baby
  • thoughts of hurting your baby
  • feeling like you don’t want your baby
  • trouble with concentration / memory
  • you don’t enjoy activities that used to make you happy
  • thoughts of suicide or wishing you were dead

Some people feel ashamed about their symptoms or feel they are terrible parents for feeling the way they do. You’re not the only person who feels this way, and it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person.

Counseling services are available if you feel that you need them. If you experience postpartum depression (PPD), then the best thing for you to do is speak with someone who can help.

Counseling can be helpful in many ways:

● Helping women deal with their fears
● Discussing how they’ll handle responsibilities
● Teaching new mothers to care for themselves & their children

What should I expect at my first appointment?

Your therapist will spend time getting to know you. Your counselor may ask questions about whether or not certain things happened during pregnancy—did anything stand out? Did anything happen during labor itself? How has life been since becoming a parent? Do any particular issues come up for either one of them?

These are all important questions that help therapists form an idea of what direction they might take when helping clients deal with postpartum depression symptoms such as anxiety attacks, loss of interest in life, sleeplessness, etc.

If you’re struggling with PPD, a counselor can help you learn how to cope with these feelings and communicate better with others in your life. Counseling can also help those who care about someone dealing with PPD by teaching them how best to support their loved one during this difficult time.

Counseling is an important way to address depression.

Counseling is important in treating postpartum depression because it helps you learn how to cope with your feelings and manage your time, energy, relationships and responsibilities. It can also help you develop strategies that will keep the symptoms of postpartum depression from interfering with your life or the lives of your family members.

If you or someone you know is struggling with postpartum depression, contact Chana Pfeifer, LCSW about getting help right away.

Managing stress from a divorce & ways that counseling can help.

Managing Stress From A Divorce: finding healthy ways to cope with counseling.

There are so many things to think about when going through a divorce, and it can be difficult to find the strength to take any action. Even worse, you may feel like you’re completely alone in your pain because nobody really understands what you’re going through.

During this time, counseling can be a lifeline for many people. It’s not just about talking through your problems; it’s about connecting with someone who understands and can help you figure out where to go from here.

Counseling provides support, new perspectives on old issues, and strategies for moving forward into a brighter future.

Separation is never easy. It’s very painful to end a marriage, and it can be even more difficult when there are children involved in the breakup. But remember that you’re not alone—lots of people are going through this right now, and lots of people have gone through it before you!

It’s also important to remember that it’s not your fault. Divorce is never any one person’s “fault.” Often there are things we could have done differently or better in the relationships that may have led us down the path toward separation/divorce. It can help to talk about these regrets with someone who understands what you’re going through.

You’re going through a big transition, and it can be difficult to see the positive side of things. You’re leaving behind your life as you knew it and creating a new one that’s different from what you expected. You might feel like no matter what you do, nothing is getting better or easier. But with time and patience, you’ll find healthy ways to cope and ultimately heal.

You are not alone. You may feel like you are, but you’re not. This is a common experience and many have gone through this same experience and have managed to move on with their lives. It’s important that you understand that even though it feels like your life will never be the same again and that you will never be able to go back to who you were before, it’s possible that one day those feelings will fade away and become part of your past.

Accepting the pain can help you feel better faster. It’s important to remember that for many people, feeling this pain is a normal part of the healing process. In fact, you may never completely accept what has happened in your marriage. However, acceptance can help you move forward and find peace.

Acceptance doesn’t mean that what happened is okay—it doesn’t mean that you have to like it or forgive the other person. Acceptance means recognizing reality and moving on with your life despite what happened in the past.

Take steps toward what you need for self-care. Some examples of self-care include getting out of the house if possible. Being active is good for both your mind and body, so consider going on walks, running errands or even going to an arcade! Or eating healthy foods that make you feel energized. Make sure to eat enough protein to help manage any stress or negative emotions, as well as vegetables that are rich in vitamins A and C as they help strengthen your immune system.

Starting over is scary, but it’s exciting too. It’s difficult to let go of the idea that you will always be with your ex-spouse, in part because you’ve probably spent a lot of time and energy defining yourself as “a couple.” After the divorce is final, however, there are new ways to define yourself and your future—and yes, that can feel scary at first. But it can also be exciting; for example:

You have the chance to start fresh without carrying baggage from your previous relationship into another one later on! This gives you an opportunity to practice being single again (which isn’t easy but also isn’t impossible!)

Counseling helps you remember that everything will be alright when you don’t feel like it will be. Speaking with a counselor can help you process emotions and feelings in a controlled environment without having to worry about what your ex is thinking or feeling.

A therapist will provide an outside opinion about what is going on and what steps you should take next. They can also provide support for any mental health issues that arise from having gone through such an experience.

Consider finding a therapist to help you through this difficult process. Get in touch with Chana Pfeifer, LCSW here!

Dealing with the Emotional Impact of Divorce

Dealing with the Emotional Impact of Divorce with Chana Pfeifer, LCSW

Divorce has its own unique impact on you, your children, and even other family members and friends.

Staying strong during this difficult time is possible. Counseling is a resource that can help you deal with the emotional impact of divorce.

Counseling gives you the space to open up.

Talking with a professional therapist gives you a safe place to share your feelings. You can talk about anything you want and not have to worry about your counselor judging you. Counseling gives you the space to talk about emotions you may not usually express in everyday life, such as anger or sadness. It’s hard to pinpoint exactly what makes us feel better after a divorce, but sometimes just being able to let off steam is really important!

Seeing a licensed social worker provides confidentiality.

You don’t have to worry about sharing personal details with people who may not be so understanding or private, like family / friends. When talking with Chana Pfeifer, LCSW, everything you say is 100% confidential.

A counselor can help you restore your confidence and self-esteem.

The emotional impact of divorce can take a toll on your confidence, self-esteem, and general sense of self-worth. When talking with a counselor, you begin to restore areas in your life that bring you joy. Whether it’s starting a new hobby, resurrecting an old hobby, or setting a new goal for yourself, once you start achieving things on your own, you’ll notice that your self-worth grows as well. Raising your self-esteem will give you a more positive outlook on life overall.

Counselors will help you evaluate the role that your own behavior played in the relationship breakdown.

Gain insight into how certain behaviors may have contributed to the divorce, so that you can learn from them now and avoid making similar mistakes in future relationships.

Counseling helps you develop coping skills to deal with stress and anxiety.

Coping skills provide an outlet for your feelings instead of suppressing them or letting them build up inside you. They can include things like meditation, singing, exercise, journaling or even just taking a walk in nature.

When we suppress our emotions, it builds up inside us like steam in a pressure cooker, until eventually, we explode. When we let our emotions out through healthy outlets like talk therapy or exercise class, then the steam is released without causing any damage!

Counseling can help you resolve any conflicts that arise between you and your ex while minimizing the impact on your children.

Counselors understand the importance of communication in a divorce situation, especially when it comes to dealing with sensitive topics like custody arrangements and child support payments. They can also provide guidance on how to communicate effectively with your ex so that any agreements reached are enforceable by the court.

In addition to helping parents navigate conflict resolution, counselors can also help them develop positive relationships with each other’s families and friends. This is especially important if there is an existing bond between your spouse’s mother or father, who may be willing to assist in raising the kids while they’re at school during the day or getting ready for bed at night.

Remember, you don’t have to do it alone.

If you’re struggling with the emotional impact of divorce, professional counseling can help you move forward in a healthy way. With the right support, you can learn how to manage stress and anxiety, develop positive coping skills for dealing with difficult emotions—including depression—and even make peace with your ex as you work together to raise your children.

Reach out to get the help that will give you a bright future after divorce.

How a Mental Health Counselor Can Help You Through Getting a Divorce

Chana Pfeifer: How a Mental Health Counselor Can Help You Through Getting a Divorce

Getting a divorce is one of the most difficult things a person can go through. It’s hard enough to cope with the emotional stress, but when you add in the financial and legal challenges, it can feel overwhelming.

A mental health counselor can help you through this tough time by providing support and guidance.

If you’re considering divorce, or are in the middle of the process, here are a few ways a mental health counselor can help:

1. Dealing with the Emotional Impact

The emotional impact of divorce can be devastating. You may feel like you’ve failed, or that your life is falling apart. A counselor can help you deal with these feelings and start to rebuild your self-esteem.

2. Managing Stress

The stress of divorce can be overwhelming. A counselor can help you find healthy ways to cope with stress and anxiety. They can also teach you relaxation techniques to help you stay calm during this difficult time.

3. Working Through Conflict

Conflict is often a big part of divorce. A counselor can help you learn how to communicate effectively with your ex-spouse, and how to resolve conflicts without resorting to aggression or violence.

4. Coping With Change

Divorce brings about many changes, both big and small. A counselor can help you adjust to these changes and find ways to cope with them in a healthy way.

5. Building a Support Network

One of the biggest challenges after the end of a marriage is rebuilding your support system. A counselor can help you connect with other people who are going through similar experiences, and can offer advice on how to build new relationships.

6. Planning for the Future

After divorce, it’s important to take some time to focus on your own needs and goals. A counselor can help you create a plan for your future, and can offer advice on how to move forward in a positive way.

7. Finding Closure

For many people, divorce is a journey to finding closure. A counselor can help you work through your feelings and find a sense of peace after the end of your marriage.

8. Helping Your Children Cope

If you have children, it’s important to help them through the divorce as well. A counselor can offer guidance on how to talk to your kids about divorce, and can provide support as they adjust to this new reality.

9. Dealing With Financial Challenges

Divorce can also bring financial challenges. A counselor can help you create a budget, and can offer advice on how to manage your finances during this difficult time.

10. Taking Care of Yourself

The process of divorce can be emotionally and physically exhausting. It’s important to take care of yourself during this time, and a counselor can help you find ways to do that. They can offer guidance on healthy coping mechanisms, and can help you create a plan to take care of your physical and mental health.

If you’re considering divorce, or are in the middle of the process, reach out to a mental health counselor for support.

Chana Pfeifer can help you deal with the emotional challenges of divorce, and can offer guidance on how to cope with this difficult time.

Follow Chana Pfeifer on Facebook.

Imago Therapy in West Hempstead, NY

Imago Therapy in West Hempstead, NY with Chana Pfeifer, LCSW

Imago therapy was created by Drs. Harville Hendrix & Helen LaKelly Hunt, internationally-respected couples’ therapists, educators, speakers, and New York Times bestselling authors. Together, they’ve written over 10 books with more than 4 million copies sold including, Getting The Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. In addition, Harville has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey television program 17 times!

Chana Pfeifer, LCSW * The Happier Me
Chana Pfeifer with Harville Hendrix

One of the most important components of Imago therapy is that it’s not about being right. The idea behind Imago therapy is that two people can have completely different world views, and it doesn’t mean that one is right and the other is wrong.

The goal in this is not to be right. It’s not proving a point. It’s about actively listening, being heard, validation, and being in tune with our partner.

To assist the transformation of all relationships, Harville & Helen co-created IMAGO RELATIONSHIP THERAPY, which is applicable to couples, families, parents, and professionals who seek to be more effective in their life and relationships.

Learn how to connect through differences and become more present in all of your relationships.

For additional information on Imago Therapy in West Hempstead, contact Chana Pfeifer, LCSW today.

Follow The Happier Me on Facebook.

Counseling for Grief – Benefits of Therapy for Dealing With Grief

Counseling for grief can be very beneficial in dealing with sad emotions.

It is natural to experience grief when a loved one passes away.

It can be especially hard for people who had a difficult relationship with the person who passed away, or if they did not have time to say goodbye before their loved one died.

“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”
– Dr. Seuss (1904-1991)

Grief is a difficult emotion to deal with, but you don’t have to go through it alone.

Counseling can help you to process your emotions, work through your grief, and develop healthy coping mechanisms. It gives you the opportunity to talk about your loved one, share memories, and express your feelings in a safe and supportive environment.

Grief counseling can help people cope with their loss in a healthy way.

Prevent complicated grief, which is when someone experiences intense grief that lasts for a long time and interferes with their ability to live a normal life. Complicated grief can lead to depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and even suicide. Counseling can help you to avoid these negative outcomes and to find a way to cope with your loss in a healthy way.

Counseling uses natural, evidence-based methods to help people with complicated grief. You’ll learn new skills and techniques to help you cope with your grief that are based on proven research.

Therapy can help people to learn how to live their lives without their loved one.

Grief counseling can help you to learn how to live your life without your loved one. This can be a difficult task. Therapy stops the cycle of grief so that you can start to heal. You’ll learn how to deal with your emotions, how to cope with triggers, and how to develop a new support system. You’ll also learn how to create a new life for yourself without your loved one.

Therapy can help people find meaning in their loss.

Grief counseling can make a world of difference to heal your wounds, remember the good / bad times, and find a way to move forward in your life. You don’t have to go through this alone. Counseling can help you to find meaning in your loss and to develop a new life without your loved one.

Counseling can help you develop a new sense of self.

As you become more comfortable with your new life without your loved one, you’ll develop a new sense of who you are. Counseling can help you by providing support, guidance, and skills to help you cope with your loss.

Other than counseling it can also be helpful to talk to friends and family members who are supportive and understanding. Sometimes, it can be helpful to read books or articles about grief or to join a support group for people who are grieving. Remember, there is no right or wrong way to grieve, and you will eventually find your own way to cope with your loss.

To sum it all up, grief counseling can help you starting from today. It will change the way you look at death, your relationship with the deceased, and how you live your life from here on out.

Contact me to set up an appointment.

Practicing Self-Compassion

Self-compassion is a very powerful (and personal) thing, and can extend into many areas of your life. I encourage you to give self-compassion a try. Life will always be messy in some fashion so give yourself the kindness and support you deserve along the way.

In order to alleviate any type of suffering, you must be compassionate with yourself.

Self-compassion vs. Self-judgment

Do you generally beat yourself up over mistakes or find the lesson and move on? Your adaptability is an important tool to move forward with ease and confidence. Self-compassion helps to reduce distorted perceptions of self-blame, low self-worth and negative self-image.

Make a routine in self care.

This can be defined as going to the gym, taking a walk, getting a massage, doing your nails, practicing a sport, singing, painting – do whatever makes you feel good, with no other reason behind it than just feeling good.

Be mindful of how you speak to yourself.

Your internal dialogue matters. It creates your thoughts, which create feelings, which leads to your behavior. So, if you’re constantly speaking poorly about yourself to yourself, it’s going to be difficult to perform at your best. How would you respond to a friend going through the same situation as you? Do you talk to yourself as kindly as you do to others?

Surround yourself with loving people.

This may be more difficult for some people than others. Whether you have a network of people you can turn to, or you’re in search of a better crowd, know that you always have options and you are never alone.

Get restful sleep.

There are countless cases of people having sleep issues due to the many anxiety-inducing issues going on today. There is not enough attention on the subject and how it relates to mental health. If you are really feeling the blues, try to focus on getting the sleep you need and the rest you deserve. You’ll have a better chance at tackling life with the energy you need and a sound mind.

Just do the best you can, with what you have.

Sometimes, we’re just too hard on ourselves. Give yourself a break from perfectionism. Some days are just going to be worse than others. Be a support system to the most important person in your life… YOU!

If you would like to speak to Chana about therapy, contact her today.

Counseling After a Break Up

Choosing to end a relationship is a decision that can be a source of intense distress. While feeling upset or sad about a break up is a normal part of the grieving process, some cases can lead to chronic sadness, depression, and unhealthy stress-related behaviors. After a break up, it is important to let oneself have time to heal from the loss.

There are numerous reasons why couples may choose to separate, including but not limited to infidelity, arguments, abuse and/or general incompatibility. The decision to move on requires emotional strength and the ability to coordinate the lifestyle changes that may come as a result.

A future that was imagined together may now seem unclear. A number of emotions may be present, including anger, sadness, or a feeling of emptiness.

Following a break up, you might experience a negative internal dialogue that can leave you feeling down and even remorseful. It can be easy to fall into the cycle of rumination, where you constantly think about mistakes you may have made in the relationship. The burden of such constant waves of negativity can make the healing process significantly longer and more difficult.

Managing the emotional ramifications of the break up while handling the adjustment period that follows can be resource-intensive. Depression and stress-related psychological factors can manifest easily during such a time of distress.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by this process, therapy can help you regain your footing, both emotionally and psychologically.

A mindful approach can help foster gratefulness for the good times in the relationship while learning to accept all the new changes that may come as a result of the breakup. While this can take time, counseling after a break up is a key step to recovering and making progress in a healthy way.

Thoughtful planning with a therapist can help you overcome depression, anxiety and other life-disrupting effects following a separation of any kind.

Counseling after a break-up can help you rebuild self-confidence and embrace your individual identity. Through therapy, you can learn to harness your strength and defeat unhealthy defense mechanisms like avoidance or withdrawal.

Processing your thoughts and feelings in a neutral, non-judgemental environment can help with clarity in what seems like a chaotic situation.

Chana Pfeifer offers in-office and virtual counseling appointments to meet your individual needs. If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of a breakup, don’t hesitate to reach out and begin a mindful journey of healing.

Contact Chana Today For More Information