Author: Christine

Couples Therapy with Chana Pfeifer, LCSW

Sometimes it can be difficult to get your spouse to talk about the issues you’re both experiencing. It’s important to remember that it might not be a matter of them not wanting to talk about things, but rather them not knowing exactly how to talk about them. This is where couples therapy with Chana Pfeifer, LCSW might come in handy!

Chana’s couples’ therapy is based on Imago Relationship Therapy, created by Harville Hendrix & Helen LaKelly Hunt.

Physical intimacy in a relationship is important for couples. Holding hands, massaging each other, cuddling during a movie, etc. keeps your bond together. It’s not just about sex. It’s about connecting physically and emotionally.

Not only can affectionate touch promote feelings of bonding and attachment in couples, but in long-term relationships, it also contributes to overall physical health and well-being.

Chana Pfeifer will help each partner make clear what he or she needs, so the partner can feel safe to give it. She assists couples in difficult times come into safety and connection. She helps partners be heard. She helps couples work through conflict and anger to create an environment of “getting my world”.

For more info. on counseling, call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer at TheHappierMe.LCSW@gmail.com

Counseling for Depression

A variety of distressing life events have the ability to cause low mood and sadness. If the symptoms are persistent and interfere with daily life, it can be considered depression. Regardless of the circumstances and severity of symptoms, counseling for depression can be an essential component to combat these stressful feelings.

Although individuals can experience it in different ways, some of the most common symptoms which lead to a clinical diagnosis of depression are:

  • Feeling sad, hopeless, overwhelmed, irritable, worthless, guilty
  • Increased emotional sensitivity or feeling of being emotionally numb
  • Loss of interest or pleasure in previously enjoyable activities
  • Social withdrawal, feeling isolated from the world
  • Physical symptoms such as chronic fatigue, malaise, GI disruption
  • Inability to sleep (insomnia) or sleeping excessively (hypersomnia)
  • Noticeable weight changes and/or major fluctuations in appetite
  • Difficulty concentrating, processing thoughts, making decisions
  • Thoughts of suicide, death, self-harm
  • Increased alcohol/substance use as a coping mechanism
  • Often, these feelings are accompanied by anxiety

These symptoms can continue for a period of time or occur in episodes.  Elongated periods of severe symptoms can be considered major depressive disorder. Constant feelings of restlessness or slowed movements and speech can greatly interfere with an individual’s ability to function. Often, a lack of treatment can cause symptoms to become more intrusive and oppressive.

Some of the most common types of counseling for depression include cognitive-behavioral, psychodynamic, or psychosocial therapy. Simple talk or group therapy can be greatly beneficial as well. Chana Pfeifer can help discuss options for therapy to help alleviate symptoms that have become severe. In the process, she may assess other psychiatric features or medical conditions that may contribute to or interact with depression.

When one is seeing through a world view blurred by constant loops of negative thoughts, therapy can help to clear the lens. Identifying the roots of depressive feelings can be essential to re-programming the destructive behaviors which accompany it.

A therapist can help locate and resolve cognitive distortions and replace harmful coping skills with self-enhancing behaviors. Formulating a treatment plan is done with the patient’s well-being, self-confidence, and safety in mind.

In times of grief it might feel difficult to reach out for help. In fact, the feelings of worthlessness can discourage one from having hope. It is important to remember that no one is alone and that hope is a beacon always ready to be grasped by one’s powerful mind.

Therapy can help to make visible what one cannot see through the blackout curtains of depression and break up negative cycles with feelings of peace and security.

Chana Pfeifer, LCSWFor more info. on counseling, call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana at TheHappierMe.LCSW@gmail.com

Counseling for PTSD

Traumatic events can have a resonating and painful impact on your life, and the effects can span over months and even years following the event. Reacting to a traumatic or threatening circumstance can be a normal response. If high levels of stress are not resolved, further problems can arise. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can develop after exposure to actual or threatened death, serious harm, or sexual assault/violence. Even if you did not directly experience the trauma, you can develop PTSD from witnessing the event or its aftermath.

PTSD can have a highly disruptive effect on survivors’ mental health, daily functioning, and relationships.

Symptoms can be classified by a few main categories:

Re-experiencing
  • Flashbacks or intensely vivid memories/re-living of the event
  • Nightmares
  • Intrusive memories, thoughts, feelings
  • Significant emotional/physiological reactions to event-related stimuli
Heightened arousal
  • Insomnia
  • Hyper vigilance (overly aware of one’s surroundings and possible threats or danger)
  • Sensitive startle response, jumpy
  • Easy to anger
Avoidance
  • Avoiding memories, thoughts, feelings, people, situations that can be possible reminders of the trauma
  • Loss of interest in certain activities
  • Feeling emotionally numb
Changes in cognition
  • Distortion of self-perception (lowered self-esteem, excessive guilt, shame, anger)
  • Feeling detached or isolated from others
  • Gaps in memory, trouble remembering the event or memories surrounding it
  • Negative beliefs about others & the world
Dissociation
  • De-personalization (feeling detached from one’s mind or body, perceiving oneself as unreal)
  • De-realization (feeling isolated from others or the world, feeling as if the world is not real)

Following a trauma, it is often difficult to talk about the event including emotions and thoughts surrounding it. Years can pass and you still may feel a strong, visceral response to the memories.

These thoughts and feelings should not continue being repressed, as this can cause chronic damage to your mental, emotional, and physical well-being over time.

Some common routes of therapy to treat PTSD include talk therapy, variations of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), cognitive processing, prolonged exposure, and eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR).

During therapy, you can work on resolving cognitive distortions and learning healthy coping skills and techniques for symptom relief. A therapist can help you re-associate negative feelings and beliefs so you can regain control of stress and fear responses. You can also address possible co-occurring issues such as anxiety, depression, or substance abuse.

Therapy can provide a grounded, secure space in which you can begin to heal from your traumatic experience(s) without feeling judgement or criticism.

A holistic approach to PTSD treatment will enhance your sense of well-being, solidify your inner fortitude and help you to regain positive self-confidence.

For more info. on counseling, call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer at TheHappierMe.LCSW@gmail.com.

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Reconnect in 2020

Reconnect in 2020 Couples Check-In Workshop

Class lead by Chana Pfeifer, LCSW & Imago Relationship Therapist

Thursday, January 30, 2020, 6 PM

ANOZ Spa Boutique
281 Nassau Blvd. Garden City South, NY 11530

Marriage Counseling WorkshopGet ready for a healthier relationship in 2020.

Attend this couples’ class on mastering connecting the modern way.

Awareness and communication are what makes a relationship work.

This couples workshop gives you tips for a connected relationship:

* Through Touch
* Appreciation
* Eye Contact
* Respect and much more!

Reserve your spot today.

$99.00 per couple. Refreshments included.

* Space is limited.

Sponsored by ANOZ Life Events.

Counseling for couples & individual adults in a safe, supportive place.

In today’s day and age, more and more couples are opting for counseling so that they can ensure they and their partner are on the same page when it comes to what they expect from their relationship.

Also, it is easier for couples to talk about difficult issues in a safe environment where they are guided by a professional, as it helps them look at each other in a new light, with a new perspective.

For people who have concerns about their upcoming marriage, or want to increase compatibility with their partner, attending this couples workshop with Chana Pfeifer can be a very rewarding experience.

For more info. on counseling, call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer at TheHappierMe.LCSW@gmail.com.

Friends Through Elvis

I meet lots of people who battle old age alone through my home care job.

Recently, I visited a woman whose house reflected her obsession of Elvis: Elvis toaster oven, Elvis welcome mat, you can’t even imagine… I thought it was quirky, but was incredibly moved the following week when her friend met with us to figure out ways to keep her safe in her home.

I asked this gentleman how he knew the pt, because he mentioned his wife, and he said: through Elvis. A previous visit revealed the patient had seen Elvis at least 100 times. By the end of the visit, this man had a list of at least 8 tasks to follow up on, and he showed up with such caring and dedication.

Dear friends are hard to come by, but they are invaluable.

I met one of my dear friends 11 years ago when I forgot a piece to my breast pump at my brother’s house (a long story for another time). Finding common ground to choose people who can reciprocate care, is priceless.

Why not have our eyes open to the opportunities to be loved and cared for. A few days ago it was Elvis’s birthday and I only know that because of my patient. I feel such a warm, fuzzy feeling when I see him now.

For more info. on counseling, call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer at TheHappierMe.LCSW@gmail.com.

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2019 Goodbyes & 2020’s Hellos

2019 Goodbyes & 2020’s Hellos

Somehow I am so excited 2019 is over. I have plenty to be grateful for, and lots to say good bye to.

2020's HellosI’d like to say goodbye to fear of the unknown.

2020’s hellos, I’d like to invite in curiosity of what lies ahead.

I want to let go of worrying about “not enough.”

I want to bring on noticing what I have, and bring on abundance. That it is okay to have a lot of connection, love, and even money (in theory).

I want to say, “don’t let the door hit you on the way out” to being so stressed.

I invite in noticing I am relaxed sometimes. When I’m not, I am really good at using the tools I teach in my office. I can breathe, do yoga, bring in positive thoughts, and a lot of the time, they work.

Goodbye 2019! I am really looking forward to 2020 being different.

2020’s Hellos:

Thursday, January 30, 2020: Reconnect in 2020 Couples Check-In Workshop

Class lead by Chana Pfeifer, LCSW & Imago Relationship Therapist

2020's HellosGet ready for a healthier relationship in 2020.

Attend this couples’ class on mastering connecting the modern way.

Awareness and communication are what makes a relationship work.

ANOZ Spa Boutique
281 Nassau Blvd. Garden City South, NY 11530

Anxiety Counseling Long Island

All humans experience anxiety to some degree in certain situations. Feeling anxious about important upcoming events, grief, stressors, or potentially dangerous situations is considered normal and a beneficial defense mechanism.

A healthy amount of anxiety can be helpful to increase motivation and drive healthy competition and success. However, it can become problematic when it comes with unhealthy apprehension, uncontrollable worry, and intense, irrational fears that interfere with daily life, self-confidence, and relationships.

Some cases of anxiety can be due to a stressful or grief-inducing event, substance use, or a medical condition. Symptoms can also be long-term and chronic and may not improve without treatment.

If you feel that symptoms of anxiety are causing you distress, seeking therapy is recommended.

Many people associate anxiety exclusively with panic attacks, however this is not always the case. In those with generalized anxiety disorder, the pernicious symptoms are present without recurring panic attacks.

Some of the symptoms of general anxiety can be as follows:

  • Mind racing with thoughts or going blank, making it hard to concentrate
  • Excessive worry, apprehension, fear that seems impossible to control
  • Restlessness, insomnia
  • Muscle aches / tension
  • Frequent fatigue
  • Irritability, agitation

Panic attacks are induced quickly and can last for minutes, with recovery and post-attack fatigue possibly lingering for hours. These events can be rare and transient, or chronic and frequently recurrent.

Panic attacks generally manifest with symptoms such as:

  • Increased heart rate, palpitations, chest pain
  • Shaking, restless movement
  • Chills or hot flashes, sweating
  • Feeling short of breath, heavy respiration, tightness in the throat
  • Lightheadedness, dizziness
  • Nausea, abdominal discomfort
  • Feelings of spiraling out of control, impending death or harm
  • Disconnection from reality or time

Anxiety can also manifest itself within other conditions including depression, social anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder, post-traumatic stress, and specific phobias.

A therapist can help you distinguish what type(s) of anxiety you are dealing with. From a cognitive perspective, the licensed provider can help you identify the thoughts that cause it while working through methods to control the anxious behaviors that come as a result.

Regardless of the intensity of your anxiety, symptoms can be managed and fears overcome through reformulating thought patterns in counseling. Being present in a neutral, non-judgmental space where you can express your fears and concerns is helpful in the journey to attain physical, psychological, and emotional relaxation. A holistic approach to counseling can teach you how to approach and handle anxiety-inducing situations without having to deal with the constant stress of fear, worry, and panic. Reaching out for help is the first important step in giving yourself the freedom of a clear, calm mind in the face of anxiety.

For more info. on counseling, call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer at TheHappierMe.LCSW@gmail.com.

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Grief Counseling Long Island

Processing grief due to the death of a spouse or partner can be a turbulent journey of emotional, psychological, and physical pain. The grieving process is different for every individual and it is essential that one has the opportunity to process the entire spectrum of emotions. Grief counseling can be a healthy way to cope with any emotions that may come up.

Constant shifting of emotional tides can be overwhelming in one’s delicate state following a loss.

Although individual experiences of grief can differ for everyone, the process has often been categorized into stages, most commonly that of Kübler-Ross (1969) which outlines them as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Most often, the lines surrounding these stages are blurred and can incorporate many complex emotions not indicated in the model. Traumatic circumstances surrounding the death can be additional barriers to the healing process.

Initially, it is normal to be unwilling to accept that a loved one has died, feeling emotionally numb, or avoiding things related to the grief. One may feel anger directed towards life, oneself, others, and the loss itself. The bargaining stage can bring about a cyclic state of questioning about alternative outcomes or what could have been done to prevent the death. Depression manifests itself in various ways and is often accompanied by deep sadness, hopelessness, and isolation. These are normal reactions to loss.

Recognizing and processing feelings is necessary to progress to eventual acceptance. Unfortunately, it can be difficult to express one’s distress to close friends or family members. One might feel a sense of loneliness and detachment. Since this can lead to unhealthy repression, it is greatly beneficial to have a trained professional to talk to.

Persistent grief, that seems to worsen instead of improve over a long period of time, can be greatly detrimental to one’s health. Some characteristics of this typically include a separation from one’s identity, overwhelming guilt and longing, total denial and refusal of reality, or a desire to die so that one can reconnect with the deceased. In these cases, it is especially critical to seek therapy.

Counseling can provide judgement-free support to process pain and alleviate deep internal chaos associated with feelings of grief and the mourning process.

A counselor can help explain and validate difficult thoughts and emotions following the loss of a spouse/friend/family member. Therapy facilitates one’s ability to focus on positive memories of the loved one while employing healthy coping strategies.

For additional info. about grief counseling, call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer at TheHappierMe.LCSW@gmail.com.

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Divorce Counseling Long Island

Chana Pfeifer, LCSW – Divorce Counseling Long Island, NY

The termination of a marriage can be a process charged with many emotions, and often these feelings seem overwhelming.

Throughout the initiation, proceedings, and aftermath of a divorce, it is helpful to have a judgement free space in which you can communicate your feelings and better understand those of others involved. Whether the decision has been made due to discord within the relationship, infidelity, financial difficulties, abuse, addiction, or other factors, a solution-based divorce counselor can be your balance in a time of chaos.

Some of the anxieties of divorce can cause a wide range of issues, both internally and inter-personally.

Emotional, psychological, and even physical health issues are common reactions to such a monumental life change. Unhealthy coping mechanisms can arise due to the stress and emotional pain of divorce, often leading to increased aggression between parties and acceleration of self-destructive behaviors. When enduring such a dramatic phase change, personal priorities and future plans can become difficult to envision.

During and after the process, both children and adults face the challenges of balancing multiple facets of health whilst in a delicate state.

If children are involved, they may feel additional stress due to the parents’ personal and emotional biases without having anyone outside the family with whom to communicate their concerns. Allowing children to freely express their emotions in a neutral environment can facilitate their adjustment significantly.

Employing the help of a divorce counselor can make the transition more navigable in all aspects of one’s health and success. A counselor can help explain how to overcome emotions such as anger, grief, depression, and insecurity during and after the divorce process.

Unbiased mediation of conflict between spouses is quintessential to healthy progress.

This includes helping you and your former spouse accommodate differing points of view in a way that is mutually beneficial. Through counseling, it is possible to develop a cooperative relationship based on healthy communication.

While you are dealing with the internal stresses that result from divorce, a counselor can help you develop healthy defense mechanisms to protect yourself from undue pain and stress, while strengthening yourself by promoting healthy acclimation to a new future. Communicating in a safe, non-judgmental environment can fortify the health of the entire family. The advice of a counselor can help you face current difficulties and the future with certainty, confidence, and peace.

For additional information, call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer at TheHappierMe.LCSW@gmail.com.

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Pre-Marital Counseling West Hempstead, NY

As you prepare for your wedding, have you also prepared for your marriage?

A survey published by the Journal of Family Psychology reported that couples who underwent pre-marital education reported higher levels of marital satisfaction. They also noted a 30% decrease in the likelihood of divorce happening in over five years of the study.

Pre-Marital Counseling West Hempstead, NY

Chana Pfeifer, LCSW * The Happier MeEssentially, pre-marital counseling is a specialized type of therapy that prepares couples for marriage. The main goal is to help couples build a healthy, strong relationship that establishes a healthy foundation for their union.

Here is how an accredited counselor can help couples build a solid foundation for their union:

1.   Change Perspective

A counselor’s role is to help each partner evaluate the relationship in a more objective manner. They learn how to recognize their interactions and regard each other in a positive light.

2.   Identify Strengths

Pre-marital counseling helps couples identify their strengths in the relationship as a partnership. An in-depth understanding of the stronger aspects of the relationship helps build a spirit of resilience. Ultimately, couples will know that a solid foundation is what builds the marriage.

3.   Improve Communication

For a relationship to be successful, effective communication is an important factor to consider. Pre-marital counselors guide couples on how to talk to each other and remain intimate by openly expressing thoughts and feelings in a supportive way.

4.   Eliminate Dysfunctional Behaviors

Pre-marital counseling helps couples rectify dysfunctional behaviors such as dominance, control and addiction.

5.   Cultural Issues Affecting Marriage

Cultural beliefs tend to affect how partners relate to each other in their lives. It influences the daily common behaviors such as eating, working, and managing their money. The sooner a couple identifies and cultivates a new culture for themselves, the better. A counselor helps reveal cultural issues and teaches the couple how to compromise for each other.

Common Issues Addressed:

Pre-marital counseling addresses a wide range of topics:

  • Conflict Resolution – premarital counselors educate couples in resolving conflicts and how they can come to terms on issues they disagree on.
  • Finances – finance is a hot topic that couples should sit down on and learn how to navigate. The role of the counselor is not to act as a financial adviser – but to help each partner determine how they are going to create a financial system that will suit them both.
  • Sex and Intimacy – intimacy is what keeps partners close together. If uncomfortable discussing sex after being celibate, a counselor helps breaks the ice. Partners get to understand each other sexually and work towards maintaining a healthy relationship in the matrimonial bed.
  • Family – getting married sometimes includes starting a family together. Counselors direct the conversation in a serious light especially when it comes to the number of children and the aspect of timing.

Pre-Marital Counseling West Hempstead, NY

Adherence to privacy is what helps couples confide in their counselor. Be sure to work with Chana Pfeifer, your trusted therapist, providing exceptional skills and a supportive atmosphere for all couples in need of counseling services.

For additional information about attending, please call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer at TheHappierMe.LCSW@gmail.com.

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