Blog ⋆ Chana Pfeifer

Topics discussed in pre-marital counseling sessions:

Examples of some of the topics that are discussed during pre-marital counseling sessions include:

Finances
Parenting styles
Communication
Decision making
Roles in the marriage

(We’ll cover these and more in my pre-marital counseling sessions and workshops.)

Create mutual goals with your partner and resolutions for your marriage.

You and your partner may have different ideas of what specifically will mean you’ve achieved a happy and successful marriage. By discussing beforehand what you both hope to get out of your marriage, you can determine a few resolutions that combine what you both want. This gives you common goals to work toward that you both believe in.

Deal with conflict in a healthy way.

Even the happiest couples experience stress and conflict, and it’s essential to learn how to deal with these constructively as you prepare for the wedding and in the years to come.

Pre-marital counseling isn’t a compatibility test or a gauntlet to run.

It’s an educational process designed to support your relationship by providing the tools and coaching you’ll need to build a fulfilling life together in the years to come.

For more info. about pre-marital counseling, please call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer at TheHappierMe.LCSW@gmail.com

The benefits of premarital counseling:

Premarital counseling is probably one of the farthest things from your minds. However, as the date draws nearer, you may begin to wonder how it could help strengthen your relationship with your significant other.

Premarital counseling is designed to set you up in the best positive way for marriage. It helps you and your partner address the areas that couples commonly struggle with. Many people assume counseling is for people that are in the midst of challenges. But premarital counseling is to help you avoid troubling times. That means, it’s a great fit for every engaged couple.

If toxic relationship patterns can be identified early and agreed upon, the process of real change can begin.

A motivated couple can begin to explore their problems from a new perspective and learn new ways to recognize and resolve conflicts as a result of the tools provided by the therapist.

Partners can begin to build trust and improve communication.

A counselor can provide “neutral territory” to help couples agree upon and work through tough issues with support.

For additional information on premarital counseling, please call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer at TheHappierMe.LCSW@gmail.com

Read Chana’s reviews on Facebook.

Offices in both Cedarhurst and West Hempstead:

422 Berrywood Court West Hempstead, NY 11552
222 Rockaway Avenue Building 1 Cedarhurst, NY 11516

Pre-Marital Counseling Check-In

LEARN TOOLS TO CREATE A SOLID FOUNDATION OF RELATIONSHIP

Pre-marital counseling with Chana Pfeifer, LCSW, Certified Imago Therapist.

Sunday, July 28, 2019, 9 am – 11 am

Anoz Spa Boutique 281 Nassau Blvd., Garden City South

PRE-MARITAL COUNSELING CHECK-IN: LIMITED SPOTS AVAILABLE

Pre-Marital Counseling Goals:

 Learn a new way to talk and listen
 Uncover opportunities for emotional growth in relationship
 Practice tools
 Share at your comfort level

Important Topics to Discuss Before the Wedding:

 The way I would like our relationship with our parents to look like
 How I feel about discussing our issues with them
 How I feel about having children, how many I would like
 My thoughts about childcare, parenting, what I like, what I don’t like
 How I feel about money, saving, spending, debts, credit report
 Spending our free time together / apart
 How I imagine to divide household chores
 Fun activities I want to plan together
 I like to be home versus I want to go out (and travel)
 Where I envision living permanently
 A topic we have NOT discussed that I want to bring up is…

Connection:

 The key to connecting is safety
 What does safety feel like?
 Focus on creating safety for each other
 Romantic love is the joy of being connected

For additional information about attending, please call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer at TheHappierMe.LCSW@gmail.com.

Imago Relationship Therapy

What an honor to assist Drs. Harville Hendrix & Helen LaKelly Hunt and my esteemed colleagues this past weekend with 60 couples at Omega.

Harville Hendrix Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt Ph.D. are internationally-respected couples’ therapists, educators, speakers, and New York Times bestselling authors. Together, they have written over 10 books with more than 4 million copies sold, including the timeless classic, Getting The Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. In addition, Harville has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey television program 17 times!

To assist the transformation of all relationships, Harville and Helen co-created IMAGO RELATIONSHIP THERAPY, which is applicable to couples, families, parents, and professionals who seek to be more effective in their life and relationships.

They’ve also developed resources that help couples, families, and educators strengthen their relationship knowledge and skills. They are the co-founders of Imago Relationships International, a non-profit organization that has trained over 2,000 therapists and educators in 51 countries around the world.

In addition, Harville and Helen co-created the non-profit organization, RELATIONSHIPS FIRST, which helps people learn how to connect through their differences. Using a simple three-step process called “Safe Conversations,” they teach people how to become more present in all of their relationships. Click here to learn more about Drs. Harville Hendrix & Helen LaKelly Hunt.

For additional information on Imago Relationship Therapy, please call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer at TheHappierMe.LCSW@gmail.com

Individual Counseling for Social Anxiety

Social anxiety, also referred to as social phobia, is one of the most considerable mental health problems in the world.

A person who suffers from this disorder harbors a fear of being judged and evaluated negatively by other people. It is this usually irrational belief, which then leads to feelings of depression, humiliation, and inferiority.

Recent surveys done in the United States show that it is the third largest mental health problem affecting their citizens, after alcoholism and depression, proving how common this affliction is.

There are two broad categories of social anxiety. In the specific social anxiety category, patients usually fear to speak in front of groups of people or avoid very particular kinds of social situations. The second type is generalized social anxiety, in which people are generally uncomfortable and anxious in all social situations. However, no matter what form of social anxiety is in question; millions of people worldwide suffer from it.

COMMON SYMPTOMS OF SOCIAL ANXIETY

Social anxiety is a disorder that encompasses both psychological and physiological symptoms. Patients suffering from this condition experience extreme anxiety and discomfort in certain situations, for example when they are being introduced to new people, when they are put in the center of attention or when they know they have to talk to a group of people. While most people may experience some level of nervousness in the scenarios as mentioned above, people suffering from social anxiety go through such a high level of panic and distress that at times they cannot face the situation at all and this discomfort manifests it in physical symptoms as well.

These physical symptoms include the patient’s heartbeat becoming very fast, excessive blushing, and the twitching of muscles in the face and neck area. What needs to be understood is that patients of social anxiety realize that their fears are irrational, but are unable to make them go away. This condition is severe and needs to be treated with the help of a qualified therapist so that the patient can live their life easier by dealing with their fear of social situations.

HOW CAN SOCIAL ANXIETY BE TREATED?

A piece of good news – when it comes to social anxiety, the condition can be overcome with proper professional help and perseverance. Chana Pfeifer is an exceptionally well-qualified therapist based in Long Island who can help you with any issues you are facing and provide one-on-one therapy sessions for social anxiety.

The most common treatment used to deal with social anxiety is cognitive behavioral therapy, which is a comprehensive therapy which firstly identifies the triggers of the disorder, the negative thoughts associated with the trigger, and how these thoughts can be treated.

The human brain is a very complex and intricate organ that is capable of learning and adapting to change at any time – only a push in the right direction is needed. A qualified therapist can use CBT and other techniques to help you develop strategies that you can use when you are in a distressing social situation.

COUNSELING FOR SOCIAL ANXIETY TAKES COMMITMENT

As is the case with therapy for almost all mental issues, it will take some time for you to see results. At times, therapy can seem difficult as you have to talk about complicated feelings and face your fears, but perseverance and consistently attending your therapy sessions is very important if you are serious about dealing with your social anxiety. You also need to practice all the strategies that your therapist develops with you so that you are so well trained in applying those strategies in real life situations, so that they become second nature.

For additional information about counseling, please call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer at TheHappierMe.LCSW@gmail.com

Like Chana on Facebook!

Marriage Counseling

If you are facing problems in your marriage and are not sure how to solve them, marriage counseling is for you.

Marriage counseling is a very special type of therapy. Its aim is to help couples communicate in a better manner so that they can work around their differences, heal, and argue with each other in a healthier way when faced with challenges in the future.

If you are searching for an expert marriage counselor in the Long Island area, contact Chana Pfeifer.

No marriage is perfect, and it is natural that when two people with different ideas, habits, and values try and live together, there will be some conflicts naturally. Having such conflicts does not mean that your relationship is a failure, or that you and your partner will continuously be fighting.

However, at times, these conflicts may grow to become bigger issues, and if left untreated, they can severely impact your relationship.

Stress and tension in a marriage can also lead to problems at work, mutual friendships, and other familial relationships, which can lead to serious psychological issues such as depression. Therefore, if you think that your marriage is facing issues you are unable to resolve, there is no harm in seeking the help of a marriage counselor so that the situation does not become more complicated.

Marriage counseling is not only for couples who are having disagreements, conflicts or issues with their marriage, but it can also be sought by those who are simply looking to strengthen their bond with their partner. If you want to understand your partner better, marriage counseling can provide the perfect setting for you to do so. A counselor can help moderate your discussions and keep you focused on the topics you want to discuss.

You can also benefit from this therapy if you are a premarital couple, as it can help you resolve issues before you commit. It makes the path to marriage easier.

How Does Marriage Counseling Work?

In marriage counseling, the therapist will try to teach you and your spouse certain crucial communication skills. Most domestic problems are the result of not being able to communicate your point of view to your partner effectively, but therapy can help resolve that as you are given the opportunity to speak your mind freely.

The therapist will then help you look at both the negative and positive aspects of your relationship, so that you can focus on the good and work on strategies to deal with the bad.

You will also learn new communication skills that will teach you how to talk to your partner without offending him/her, and will be given opportunities to discuss your differences in a controlled manner.

The counselor will train you to solve problems together so that whenever you face any hurdles in your marriage, you have some experience in how to solve them.

Chana Pfeifer is an expert marriage counselor who can help you learn these strategies and assist you in solving domestic disputes.

For additional information about counseling, please call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer at TheHappierMe.LCSW@gmail.com

Affair Counseling Long Island

No one thinks it would happen to them, but after an affair is discovered, many people find it difficult to understand why the betrayal happened…

Regardless of how you define infidelity, it comes down to one thing: betrayal.

It can severely strain a relationship and the people involved.

Perhaps you are struggling with the common emotions of anger and shock, or dealing with confusion and guilt.

Healing Broken Trust

When a couple experiences any level of betrayal it is common to ask:

How can I ever trust again?
Is this even fixable?

Trust needs to be repaired if a couple decides to stay together after an affair. This can take time and delicate attention.

Begin the conversation that will ideally bring you to a place where you can begin working on the relationship together.

Have You Been Unfaithful? Do you struggle with:

Feeling like it’s impossible to heal?
Do you wonder if you could ever make them happy again?
Feeling like you’re never good enough?
Do you wonder if you should try to heal the relationship?
Do you wonder if you should just quit trying?
Are you afraid that if you work on the relationship it won’t get better?

Has Your Partner Been Unfaithful? Do you struggle with:

Feeling like you’ll never get over the betrayal?
Do you wonder if the pain will ever go away?
Wondering if you’ll ever satisfy their needs?
With feelings of not being good enough?
Do you wonder if your life could ever get back together?
Do you wonder if you should stay or leave?

Affair Counseling Long Island, NY

Private counseling by an experienced infidelity specialist can be extremely helpful. Chana Pfeifer does not pass judgment and your time is completely confidential. Confiding in an expert can give you the support that you need and the precise guidance that you are seeking.

For additional information about counseling, please call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer at TheHappierMe.LCSW@gmail.com

Marriage Counseling Benefits

Does your mind crawl back to the day when you said “yes” to your spouse?

The words “I do” are stuck in your head like a song on repeat.. You think about all you have come across, all that you left for your partner, and all that you have accomplished together. You never would have thought about marriage counseling benefits when things were going so well.

Marriage was never meant to be a piece of cake. The day you tied the knot with your spouse wasn’t just a beginning of a fairy tale. It wasn’t just romance and honeymoon trips. Your marriage day was beyond all of this – it was the day where you were supposed to share everything in your life – from a bed, to financials, and above all, share what’s inside your hearts.

Your heart may change or disagree with something, but it wasn’t supposed to lose hope or feelings towards your partner. However, sometimes life does take U-turns and go crazy because of bumps that come along or milestones that crush you down, and it’s okay. It’s okay if you don’t feel the same anymore about him/her. The first step to overcome this hard ride is to accept the reality of your heart and mind.

Are marriage counseling services really worth it?

Next, you have to buckle up and get ready to talk. But consulting with a friend or family member isn’t the right place. Marriage counselors do have a major role in making life easier with marriage conflicts and perhaps one last try wouldn’t hurt.

Marriage Counseling Benefits: with therapy, you can start:

● Resolving conflicts from a neutral perspective.

● Analyzing the reasons that made you and your spouse disconnect.

● Processing the emotions and ill feelings that led to consequences.

● Receiving guidance to divert away from the turmoil.

● Creating a sense of clarity with what your mind & heart want.

The entire process of realization and building communication must be addressed professionally.

When a couple is stressed, a lot of negativity takes control and makes getting back together the last resort. It makes it blurry for both individuals to understand and think for a second. Due to back-to-back fights and arguments, ill feelings towards each other mess up the foundation of what could be a great relationship.

By talking about your feelings and problems in a guided manner, a counselor tends to draw parallels between both people and address conflicts accordingly. It helps both reconcile and value the power of love and relationship.

For additional information about counseling, please call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer at TheHappierMe.LCSW@gmail.com

Make time for a date night.

It is all too easy to become complacent in a relationship and fall into a routine where you neglect to make the relationship exciting.

Keep The Spark Alive:

No matter how busy your schedules are, it’s important to always make room for a date night.

Dating should be a part of every relationship no matter how long you’ve been together.

Try setting aside at least one day a week where you rediscover the fun of dating your partner.

A date night is an opportunity to communicate, and this communication may help couples deepen their understanding of one another and the relationship. Communication is important because individuals continue to change and over time, as they and their relationship develop, they experience new challenges and problems.

Most importantly, never forget to have fun with each other. Goof around, playfully tease one another, go out with your friends, and just enjoy each other’s company. In a solid relationship, your partner will always be your best friend, so it’s important not to neglect that.

Date nights are a way to relieve stress. They allow a couple to enjoy time with one another apart from the pressing concerns of their ordinary life. Date nights also may serve couples as an opportunity to extend emotional support to one another in times of trial.

It doesn’t have to be glamorous or expensive, but it should actually be enhancing and enriching to your relationship.

For additional information about counseling, please call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer at TheHappierMe.LCSW@gmail.com

Couples Coping with Infidelity

Given the emotional toll infidelity takes, can anyone truly get past an affair?

Can trust ever be restored? Should it be?

Finding out that your partner has been unfaithful can hit you like a ton of bricks. Your marriage may be thrown into a state of crisis that may destroy it.

It’s not just the pain of any specific sexual betrayal that you must try to process and eventually overcome, it’s the loss of trust in your spouse and your relationship.

If you have recently learned about infidelity in your relationship and are experiencing any degree of the pain and uncertainty described above, the following tips below may be helpful.

Accept Your Feelings

Shock, agitation, fear, pain, depression, and confusion are normal. You will likely feel like you’re on an emotional roller coaster for a while. It takes time to get beyond the pain of having an unfaithful mate. Don’t expect the mixture of feelings and the mistrust to go away even if you’re trying to forgive your partner and repair your marriage. Your marriage has changed and it is natural to grieve the relationship you once had.

Don’t Seek Revenge

Being betrayed by your partner can induce rage. In your furious state, your first instinct may be to punish your mate by trash-talking him to friends (or worse, on social media), or think about having an affair yourself to get even. You may get a temporary sense of satisfaction from these sorts of actions, but ultimately they can work against you, keeping you in a state of anger instead of focusing on healing and moving on, alone or together.

Think before you tell your family, as well. They will likely have strong opinions about what you should do—leave or stay. But nobody else really understands what goes on in another person’s marriage. While you are pondering how you’re going to proceed, it’s best to keep the details private.

Take Care of Yourself

You may have some physical reactions due to stress such as nausea, diarrhea, sleep problems, shakiness, difficulty concentrating, not wanting to eat or overeating. Once the initial shock has passed, try your best to eat healthy foods, to stay on a schedule, to sleep regular hours, to get some exercise each day, to drink plenty of water, and, yes, to have some fun.

Avoid the Blame Game

Blaming yourself, your partner, or the third party won’t change anything and it’s just wasted energy. Try not to play the victim, either, if you can help it, or wallow in self-pity. It will only make you feel more helpless and bad about yourself.

Keep Your Kids Out of It

This situation is between you and your partner and should not involve your children at all. Unless you and your spouse have decided to end your marriage, sharing details about an affair will only cause them anxiety, make them feel stuck in the middle, and forced to take sides.

Seek Counseling

Don’t try to get through coping with unfaithfulness alone. Before you make any decisions about whether or not to end your marriage, it’s wise to talk to a couples’ counselor, who will be neutral and can help you gain insight into what exactly happened. You can ask your partner questions and share your feelings without losing your cool.

An experienced therapist can help you communicate better and process feelings of guilt, shame, and whatever else you might be feeling. If you decide to end the marriage, you ‘ll know that you tried your best to make it work.

Get Practical

If you suspect that the affair will most likely lead to the end of your marriage, give some thought to practical matters, such as where you will live, if you have enough money to pay for your essentials, and, if you have kids, the type of custody arrangement you want. You may also want to consider asking your partner to be tested for STDs, and to get yourself tested as well if you have had sex during or after the affair.

Take it One Day at a Time

Infidelity is one of the more difficult challenges a marriage can face, but it doesn’t always mean it’s the end. As you work through the aftermath over time, it will become clear how to go forward so that the next phase of your life, together or apart, can begin.

For more info. about infidelity counseling, please call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer at TheHappierMe.LCSW@gmail.com

(source)