Author: Christine

Pre-Marital Counseling Long Island

Pre-marital counseling Long Island, a form of couples’ therapy before getting married.

pre-marital counseling Long IslandOne of the most important choices a person makes in their life is choosing who to marry. This is because they’re choosing to live with their spouse in the same home and commit themselves to them, ideally for the rest of their life.

In today’s day and age, more and more couples are opting for pre-marital counseling so that they can ensure they and their future spouse are on the same page when it comes to what they expect from their marriage.

Also, it is easier for couples to talk about difficult issues in a safe environment where they are guided by a professional, as it helps them look at each other in a new light, with a new perspective.

For couples who have concerns about their upcoming marriage, or want to increase their compatibility, pre-marital counseling with Chana Pfeifer can be a very rewarding experience.

What issues do you talk about?

Getting married is a big decision, and pre-marital counseling can help partners get to know each other even better. Subjects such as finances, children and sexual relations can be areas where partners have differing views, and talking about them beforehand can help avoid major conflicts later on.

A good marriage counselor helps both parties improve their conflict resolution skills so that if the couple has any fights down the road, which is highly likely, they can sensibly know how to resolve them.

For couples who are looking for a good pre-marital counselor, Chana Pfeifer, based in the Long Island area, is one of the best in the profession and can help you deal with any concerns you may have.

How can it help me?

Pre-marital counseling can help partners talk about any concerns they may have about the marriage with each other so that they can resolve them before the actual wedding. It can also act as a method through which partners can talk about any old resentments or release the pent up aggression they may have. This way, both parties enter the marriage with a clean slate and old problems do not come back to haunt them.

Does it really work?

According to the results of a survey that were published in a notable psychology journal, couples who have some experience of pre-marital counseling or education have greater satisfaction with their marriage and have a 30% lower rate of divorce in the first five years. The reason for this is that when couples enter the marriage after prior training, they know what to expect, how to deal with their problems and their partner’s way of thinking, all of which contribute to a healthier relationship with fewer problems.

For additional information about counseling, please call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer at TheHappierMe.LCSW@gmail.com.

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What counts as infidelity?

Infidelity Counseling Long Island: What counts as infidelity?

Infidelity is becoming an alarmingly common problem with couples in various stages of their relationship.

infidelity counseling Long IslandInfidelity refers to the scenario in which one partner in a relationship breaks the promise to be faithful to the other. This problem must be dealt with as soon as it becomes apparent otherwise its negative influence can start to creep into various aspects of your life.

Due to changing family and social values, peoples’ lifestyles have changed dramatically too, and the increase in instances of infidelity is very strongly related to it. To get a sense of how rampant this problem is, a survey was carried out recently that showed while 90% of people in a relationship consider infidelity to be unacceptable, approximately 20% of partners engage in it at some time or another.

What counts as infidelity?

The definition of “infidelity” is literally “disloyalty,” but what counts as cheating in a relationship can vary from person to person. Women normally place a lot of emphasis on emotional attachment and attraction when defining disloyalty, whereas, for a lot of men, cheating encompasses physical relations with another.  This is why some people believe that infidelity only occurs when one partner has sex outside of the relationship while according to others, cyber or emotional affairs may also count as disloyalty.

Effects of infidelity.

From a psychological perspective, infidelity can have an extremely detrimental effect on the un-involved party’s psychological and emotional health. The faithful partner may experience signs of depression, low self-esteem, and even fits of rage. It can also have negative physiological effects on the loyal partner, such as lack of sleep, overeating, or under-eating.

Not only does infidelity impact the partners, but if they have children, they too can come in the middle of the problem and be exposed to negative stimuli. Infidelity can erode the foundation of various familial relationships and take a toll on the parties’ physical and emotional health. This is why infidelity is a multi-faceted problem, and couples must seek professional help as soon as they discover it.

Chana Pfeifer is an excellent marriage counselor who can help couples facing issues with cheating and disloyalty resolve those problems and find effective solutions.

How can you cope with infidelity?

While infidelity may severely damage a relationship, there is still a chance to salvage it with appropriate help and counseling. If both partners are willing to make an effort to solve their disputes, and the unfaithful partner is ready to make a change in their behavior, the probability of the relationship’s survival goes up.

While no one reason can account for a partner’s infidelity, often communication problems, dissatisfaction with the current relationship, and deeper psychological issues can be a triggering factor.

If your relationship is facing any issues such as disloyalty and cheating, Chana Pfeifer is a professional counselor who can help you work through the issues you’re facing and find a way to come out better at the end.

For additional information about counseling, please call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer at TheHappierMe.LCSW@gmail.com.

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10 ingredients of a connected relationship

1.     Connect with each other through touch to feel alive EVERY day.

2.     Be responsible to REMOVE your criticism, put-downs, blaming, shaming and negativity in your relationship space.

3.     Be aware of YOUR reactivity so you don’t vomit it into the relationship.

4.     Make a big deal about what you appreciate about your partner EVERY day.

5.     Make direct eye contact with each other for at least 10 seconds EVERY day.

6.     How can you self-soothe when you are frustrated, angry or negative?

7.     Show each other respect and hold yourself responsible for what you do.

8.     Have interests, hobbies and/or other relationships outside of your relationship, which creates a more whole person with interesting bits.

9.     Carve out time for your relationship as a couple.

10.  No one has the perfect romance like the movies and lives happily ever after.. and neither will you; it’s healthy to work on your relationship.

Awareness and communication are what makes a connected relationship work. If you feel you are having difficulty communicating with your partner, it would be beneficial to have a therapist guide you in the process. Sometimes couples become so emotionally disconnected and stuck in negative patterns that it is difficult to talk openly and honestly. If this feels like you, then reaching out to a professional social worker could be a great step toward having a connected relationship.

For any questions regarding relationship therapy as an individual or couple, feel free to email me or call me at (516) 592-1107.

Chana Pfeifer, LCSW, CIT

Counseling for couples and individual adults in a safe, supportive place.

Marriage Counseling Workshop August 2019

Give your relationship a gift with this marriage counseling workshop! Let’s enhance our marriages within our homes so we can merit to build the בית־נאמן.

August 4 & August 6
10 am – 4 pm

Machon Basya Rochel Simcha Hall
137 Lawrence Ave. Lawrence, NY 11559

Join us for a marriage counseling workshop that will include:

  • Tools to experience your spouse with healing, loving & empathetic exercises
  • Individualized attention
  • Hands on approach guided by excellent facilitators
  • Personal and completely confidential

Don’t wait to renew your love and your chemistry for one another!

Call or email today to reserve your spot:

Chana Pfeifer, LCSW, Certified Imago Therapist

(516) 592-1107
TheHappierMe.LCSW@gmail.com

$350 per couple. Lunch included.

Attending a marriage counseling workshop will reinforce your desire to remain committed to yourself, your family, or another person. It will show that you really want to learn how to reopen channels of communication.


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Discover strategies to overcome conflict and break through.
Identify your relationship’s specific strengths and how to build on them together.
Rekindle the love that’s been buried by the day-to-day struggles of life.

If your relationship is distressed, our Long Island marriage counseling workshop will provide you with a greater understanding of your relationship, a way to use your challenges as the opportunities they are for deeper connection, and a road map for repair.

Topics discussed in pre-marital counseling sessions:

Examples of some of the topics that are discussed during pre-marital counseling sessions include:

  • Finances
  • Parenting styles
  • Communication
  • Decision making
  • Roles in the marriage

(We’ll cover these and more in my pre-marital counseling sessions and workshops.)

Create mutual goals with your partner and resolutions for your marriage.

You and your partner may have different ideas of what specifically will mean you’ve achieved a happy and successful marriage. By discussing beforehand what you both hope to get out of your marriage, you can determine a few resolutions that combine what you both want. This gives you common goals to work toward that you both believe in.

Deal with conflict in a healthy way.

Even the happiest couples experience stress and conflict, and it’s essential to learn how to deal with these constructively as you prepare for the wedding and in the years to come.

Pre-marital counseling isn’t a compatibility test or a gauntlet to run.

It’s an educational process designed to support your relationship by providing the tools and coaching you’ll need to build a fulfilling life together in the years to come.

For more info. about pre-marital counseling, please call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer at TheHappierMe.LCSW@gmail.com

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The benefits of premarital counseling:

Premarital counseling is probably one of the farthest things from your minds. However, as the date draws nearer, you may begin to wonder how it could help strengthen your relationship with your significant other.

Premarital counseling is designed to set you up in the best positive way for marriage. It helps you and your partner address the areas that couples commonly struggle with. Many people assume counseling is for people that are in the midst of challenges. But premarital counseling is to help you avoid troubling times. That means, it’s a great fit for every engaged couple.

If toxic relationship patterns can be identified early and agreed upon, the process of real change can begin.
A motivated couple can begin to explore their problems from a new perspective and learn new ways to recognize and resolve conflicts as a result of the tools provided by the therapist.
Partners can begin to build trust and improve communication.
A counselor can provide “neutral territory” to help couples agree upon and work through tough issues with support.

For additional information on premarital counseling, please call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer at TheHappierMe.LCSW@gmail.com

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Offices in both Cedarhurst and West Hempstead:

422 Berrywood Court West Hempstead, NY 11552
222 Rockaway Avenue Building 1 Cedarhurst, NY 11516

Pre-Marital Counseling Check-In

Premarital Counseling LINYLEARN TOOLS TO CREATE A SOLID FOUNDATION OF RELATIONSHIP

Pre-marital counseling with Chana Pfeifer, LCSW, Certified Imago Therapist.

Sunday, July 28, 2019, 9 am – 11 am

Anoz Spa Boutique 281 Nassau Blvd., Garden City South

Register before 7/12, $50 per couple.
Register after 7/12, $100 per couple.

PRE-MARITAL COUNSELING CHECK-IN:  LIMITED SPOTS AVAILABLE

Pre-Marital Counseling Goals:

 Learn a new way to talk and listen
 Uncover opportunities for emotional growth in relationship
 Practice tools
 Share at your comfort level

Important Topics to Discuss Before the Wedding:

 The way I would like our relationship with our parents to look like
 How I feel about discussing our issues with them
 How I feel about having children, how many I would like
 My thoughts about childcare, parenting, what I like, what I don’t like
 How I feel about money, saving, spending, debts, credit report
 Spending our free time together / apart
 How I imagine to divide household chores
 Fun activities I want to plan together
 I like to be home versus I want to go out (and travel)
 Where I envision living permanently
 A topic we have NOT discussed that I want to bring up is…

Connection:

 The key to connecting is safety
 What does safety feel like?
 Focus on creating safety for each other
 Romantic love is the joy of being connected

For additional information about attending, please call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer at TheHappierMe.LCSW@gmail.com.

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Imago Relationship Therapy

What an honor to assist Drs. Harville Hendrix & Helen LaKelly Hunt and my esteemed colleagues this past weekend with 60 couples at Omega.

Harville Hendrix Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt Ph.D. are internationally-respected couples’ therapists, educators, speakers, and New York Times bestselling authors. Together, they have written over 10 books with more than 4 million copies sold, including the timeless classic, Getting The Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. In addition, Harville has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey television program 17 times!

To assist the transformation of all relationships, Harville and Helen co-created IMAGO RELATIONSHIP THERAPY, which is applicable to couples, families, parents, and professionals who seek to be more effective in their life and relationships.

They’ve also developed resources that help couples, families, and educators strengthen their relationship knowledge and skills. They are the co-founders of Imago Relationships International, a non-profit organization that has trained over 2,000 therapists and educators in 51 countries around the world.

In addition, Harville and Helen co-created the non-profit organization, RELATIONSHIPS FIRST, which helps people learn how to connect through their differences. Using a simple three-step process called “Safe Conversations,” they teach people how to become more present in all of their relationships. Click here to learn more about Drs. Harville Hendrix & Helen LaKelly Hunt.

For additional information on Imago Relationship Therapy, please call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer at TheHappierMe.LCSW@gmail.com

Individual Counseling for Social Anxiety

Social anxiety, also referred to as social phobia, is one of the most considerable mental health problems in the world.

A person who suffers from this disorder harbors a fear of being judged and evaluated negatively by other people. It is this usually irrational belief, which then leads to feelings of depression, humiliation, and inferiority.

Recent surveys done in the United States show that it is the third largest mental health problem affecting their citizens, after alcoholism and depression, proving how common this affliction is.

There are two broad categories of social anxiety. In the specific social anxiety category, patients usually fear to speak in front of groups of people or avoid very particular kinds of social situations. The second type is generalized social anxiety, in which people are generally uncomfortable and anxious in all social situations. However, no matter what form of social anxiety is in question; millions of people worldwide suffer from it.

COMMON SYMPTOMS OF SOCIAL ANXIETY

Social anxiety is a disorder that encompasses both psychological and physiological symptoms. Patients suffering from this condition experience extreme anxiety and discomfort in certain situations, for example when they are being introduced to new people, when they are put in the center of attention or when they know they have to talk to a group of people. While most people may experience some level of nervousness in the scenarios as mentioned above, people suffering from social anxiety go through such a high level of panic and distress that at times they cannot face the situation at all and this discomfort manifests it in physical symptoms as well.

These physical symptoms include the patient’s heartbeat becoming very fast, excessive blushing, and the twitching of muscles in the face and neck area. What needs to be understood is that patients of social anxiety realize that their fears are irrational, but are unable to make them go away. This condition is severe and needs to be treated with the help of a qualified therapist so that the patient can live their life easier by dealing with their fear of social situations.

HOW CAN SOCIAL ANXIETY BE TREATED?

A piece of good news – when it comes to social anxiety, the condition can be overcome with proper professional help and perseverance. Chana Pfeifer is an exceptionally well-qualified therapist based in Long Island who can help you with any issues you are facing and provide one-on-one therapy sessions for social anxiety.

The most common treatment used to deal with social anxiety is cognitive behavioral therapy, which is a comprehensive therapy which firstly identifies the triggers of the disorder, the negative thoughts associated with the trigger, and how these thoughts can be treated.

The human brain is a very complex and intricate organ that is capable of learning and adapting to change at any time – only a push in the right direction is needed. A qualified therapist can use CBT and other techniques to help you develop strategies that you can use when you are in a distressing social situation.

COUNSELING FOR SOCIAL ANXIETY TAKES COMMITMENT

As is the case with therapy for almost all mental issues, it will take some time for you to see results. At times, therapy can seem difficult as you have to talk about complicated feelings and face your fears, but perseverance and consistently attending your therapy sessions is very important if you are serious about dealing with your social anxiety. You also need to practice all the strategies that your therapist develops with you so that you are so well trained in applying those strategies in real life situations, so that they become second nature.

For additional information about counseling, please call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer at TheHappierMe.LCSW@gmail.com

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Marriage Counseling

If you are facing problems in your marriage and are not sure how to solve them, marriage counseling is for you.

Marriage counseling is a very special type of therapy. Its aim is to help couples communicate in a better manner so that they can work around their differences, heal, and argue with each other in a healthier way when faced with challenges in the future.

LCSWIf you are searching for an expert marriage counselor in the Long Island area, contact Chana Pfeifer.

No marriage is perfect, and it is natural that when two people with different ideas, habits, and values try and live together, there will be some conflicts naturally. Having such conflicts does not mean that your relationship is a failure, or that you and your partner will continuously be fighting.

However, at times, these conflicts may grow to become bigger issues, and if left untreated, they can severely impact your relationship.

Stress and tension in a marriage can also lead to problems at work, mutual friendships, and other familial relationships, which can lead to serious psychological issues such as depression. Therefore, if you think that your marriage is facing issues you are unable to resolve, there is no harm in seeking the help of a marriage counselor so that the situation does not become more complicated.

Marriage counseling is not only for couples who are having disagreements, conflicts or issues with their marriage, but it can also be sought by those who are simply looking to strengthen their bond with their partner. If you want to understand your partner better, marriage counseling can provide the perfect setting for you to do so. A counselor can help moderate your discussions and keep you focused on the topics you want to discuss.

You can also benefit from this therapy if you are a premarital couple, as it can help you resolve issues before you commit. It makes the path to marriage easier.

How Does Marriage Counseling Work?

In marriage counseling, the therapist will try to teach you and your spouse certain crucial communication skills. Most domestic problems are the result of not being able to communicate your point of view to your partner effectively, but therapy can help resolve that as you are given the opportunity to speak your mind freely.

The therapist will then help you look at both the negative and positive aspects of your relationship, so that you can focus on the good and work on strategies to deal with the bad.

You will also learn new communication skills that will teach you how to talk to your partner without offending him/her, and will be given opportunities to discuss your differences in a controlled manner.

The counselor will train you to solve problems together so that whenever you face any hurdles in your marriage, you have some experience in how to solve them.

Chana Pfeifer is an expert marriage counselor who can help you learn these strategies and assist you in solving domestic disputes.

For additional information about counseling, please call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer at TheHappierMe.LCSW@gmail.com