relationship counseling Long Island Archives ⋆ Chana Pfeifer

13 Premarital Counseling Questions from a Couples Therapist in NY

13 Premarital Counseling Questions from a Couples Therapist in NY

When coming in for premarital counseling, questions will be asked that will be unique to you, your relationship, and your expectations of your marriage.

These premarital counseling questions will help you & your partner facilitate conversations about important relationship topics that may cause problems later on if you’re not clear about where you both stand.

Marriage can be defined in different ways and our perception of family is based upon our past experiences, which is most likely different from what our partners have experienced.

The 13 premarital questions listed below are just a starting point in conversation:

What do you appreciate most about your partner?
How do you express love and affection?
Do you agree with your partner’s lifestyle choices?
Where do you see yourselves living and creating your life?
How important are your religious / spiritual beliefs to you?
Are you on the same page about having children?
How do you relate to your family / your partner’s family?
How will you manage finances (joint or separate)?
How will you prioritize careers in relation to family / marriage?
What are your expectations around intimacy and sex?
What does marriage and commitment mean to you?
What does betrayal and infidelity mean to you?
How will you maintain your personal identity within the marriage? How much time do you expect to spend with each other? How will you spend your free time together and apart?

If you have more premarital counseling questions, contact Chana Pfeifer today.

Follow The Happier Me on Facebook

Couples Therapy During Lockdown

The stresses associated with lockdown amidst a global pandemic can have a significant effect on relationships. At first, social isolation with your partner may be a blissful escape from the daily routine; Over time, this constant proximity can lead to new difficulties, and previously unaddressed issues can become magnified. If you are having difficulties quarantining, perhaps consider couples therapy during lockdown.

The daily routines of most individuals have been abruptly altered by the parameters of lockdown.

A majority of common activities have been effectively cancelled, promoting an increased sense of loneliness and decreased ability to experience normalcy.

Increased divorce rates around the globe have been attributed to the stresses of lockdown, which may also play a role in depression and anxiety.

While enjoying time with your partner can reduce feelings of solitude, a lack of personal space can lead to increased contention and frustration.

Personal relaxation time can become virtually nonexistent, especially if there are also children staying at home. Tempers and anxieties may become amplified, bringing anger and stress to everyday activities.

Financial adversity can be another major source of conflict within a relationship. Millions of workers have become unemployed due to economic disruptions from the global pandemic. This additional economic hardship can cause couples to clash over finances, while leaving many stressed due to the difficulties of reduced income.

Maintaining a healthy dynamic with your partner is significantly more difficult amidst lockdown. Putting off such issues can just cause them to get increasingly worse over time.

If you’re experiencing conflict with your partner, separation isn’t the only option. Couples therapy during lockdown can help you create balance & achieve a sense of peace within your relationship.

Whatever conflicts you may be facing, therapy can help you mitigate these tensions in a calm, safe environment. Chana Pfeifer can help you address your issues as a couple while attending to the individual needs of each partner.

If you feel you’re growing apart as a couple, therapy can help you rekindle healthy communication.

Chana offers both virtual and in-person therapy. Sessions conducted virtually from your own home can be a convenient and easy option to start counseling. Chana also sees couples in her Long Island, NY office while adhering to all social distancing guidelines.

If you are experiencing relationship issues during these stressful times, don’t hesitate to contact a social worker to experience healing and regain lasting strength as a couple.

Jealousy: Smothered by Love

First, a quick note – Jealousy and envy are different concepts, despite the terms often being used interchangeably in daily speech.

Envy is the state of desiring something that another has. Jealousy is desiring to keep something or someone all to yourself, and involves a third party.

For example, if you wish you could sleep 16 hours a day and sit in the window, you are envious of your cat. However, if you don’t want other people to pet your cat because you feel he belongs to you or it will undermine your bond with your cat, you are jealous of your cat. The following piece deals with the role of jealousy in relationships.

A certain level of jealousy can be normal in a relationship, especially for individuals who have had issues with past partners failing to be faithful. Indeed, many people believe that it is a sign of love, and evolutionary psychologists consider it to be a valuable emotion that can signal danger to an important relationship.

However, jealousy can undermine a trusting relationship and leave your partner feeling overwhelmed and trapped, limiting your ability to have a healthy relationship.

Many relationship therapists report that romantic jealousy is a leading cause of their clients’ relationship problems.

Studies have shown that feelings of being jealous can be linked to low self-esteem, dependence on one’s partner, feelings of inadequacy, an anxious attachment style, or even neuroticism.

Absent a history of behaviors that warrant a partner’s jealousy, you should know that a partner’s jealousy reflects their insecurities, not any adequacy of yours. When confronted with unwarranted jealousy, a healthy, relationship-building strategy is to assure your partner that you remain interested in and attracted to them.

If you find yourself feeling jealousy toward your partner, stop and re-evaluate your behaviors. Work on building your self-confidence in order to feel more secure in your relationship. Avoid going through your partner’s social media or electronic devices—your mind can begin to draw patterns and extrapolate details creating things to be jealous of that aren’t really there.

Communicating calmly with your partner, in a manner directed at developing a solution to your jealousy, can also be an effective strategy.

The great irony of unwarranted jealousy is that it can drive an otherwise-satisfied partner away. Jealous behaviors, left unchecked, can undermine the trust in a relationship and hinder the ability to express love. Taken to extremes, it can lead to angry, even violent outbursts.

Jealousy is not limited to romantic relationships. It can also arise between friends or siblings, and can endanger harmony within the family unit.

If you believe that jealousy—whether yours, your partner’s, or otherwise—is negatively affecting your relationship, professional therapy can help guide a productive conversation to address these potentially problematic feelings within your relationship.

Tag: relationship counseling Long Island