Tag: individual counseling West Hempstead
Detachment
Detachment from a person / situation can best be described as a process of letting go. It’s not easy; it takes some time to learn how to do it. But with a little practice, you may experience your anxiety subsiding and your relationships becoming more fulfilling.
The process of detachment will help you lead a happier life overall.
Here’s what Chopra.com has to say about it:
Many people are attached to relationships, money, social status, jobs, and more. Basically, anything you can use to describe who you are can be a sign of attachment. I might say: I am a blonde, mother, wife, daughter, and sister who is physically healthy and socially vibrant. I am a teacher, a writer, a speaker, and a student. However, if my brother dies and I was no longer a sister, I am still me. If I change what I do and stop writing, I am still me.
Recognizing that the “me” remains without all the descriptors is the goal.
How to Detach: 5 Steps
1. Observe your mind: Become aware of what kind of thoughts you habitually think. What things or descriptors do you identify with most? Become a student of self and heighten your awareness of where attachment happens more frequently for you. Recognize attachment comes with an emotional charge. Notice where you feel this in your physical body. It’s different for each individual and learning your patterns is a useful tool in creating change.
2. Distinguish between ego and actuality: Your ego might tell you that not getting the job you want has ruined your career. The actuality is: you are disappointed because you didn’t get something you wanted. Nothing has changed except your thoughts about your future potential. The actual situation is the same as it was prior to not getting the job and you can still advance your career.
3. Embrace uncertainty: Only a willingness to embrace the unknown provides security. What Deepak Chopra says about detachment: “Those who seek security in the exterior world chase it for a lifetime. By letting go of your attachment to the illusion of security, which is really an attachment to the known, you step into the field of all possibilities. This is where you will find true happiness, abundance, and fulfillment.”
4. Meditate on it: Meditation is a vehicle to help your mind release patterns of thought and action that no longer serve you. Spend some time in meditation each day and watch how the patterns in your life begin to change.
5. Don’t beat yourself up for falling into old habits: The first step in making change is recognizing what it is you want to change. Instead of getting frustrated/disappointed when you fall back into an old habit, celebrate that you are now noticing when you repeat the pattern of thought/habit. In time, this will allow you to transform your behavior.
What does emotional manipulation look like?
Manipulation is when they blame you for your reaction to their toxic behavior, but never discuss their disrespect that triggered you.
When someone uses your emotions to get what they want, steer your behavior, or influence your ideals, it’s known as emotional manipulation.
Emotional manipulation can wear many faces. It can come in anger, disappointment, ridicule, or guilt. Gaslighting and love bombing are also forms of emotional manipulation.
Here’s emotional abuse tactics and what they may sound like:
- Guilt: “If you loved me, you wouldn’t do that.”
- Criticism: “You never do anything right.”
- Isolation: “You’re picking your friends and family over me.”
- Humiliation: “I’ll take you out to eat when you lose some weight.”
- Threatening: “If you ever do that again, you’ll be sorry.”
- Blaming: “Look what you made me do.”
- Accusing: “I know you’re being unfaithful.”
- Infidelity: “I could do better than you anytime I want.”
Emotional abuse leads to conditions such as:
- low self-esteem
- depression
- anxiety
- substance abuse
- post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
If you feel as though someone is manipulating your emotions, it’s OK to step away from the situation to gather your thoughts. Practice stating your own needs, desires, and boundaries clearly and without apology. The more comfortable you are with direct communication, the easier it is to spot manipulation from others.
Dealing with emotional manipulation is difficult because it can lead you to question yourself and your judgment.
When emotional abuse negatively impacts your life, consider seeking support & guidance from a MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL. Contact us.
A Grief Counselor To Help You Handle The Holidays With Ease
Complicated feelings typically arise during the holidays under any circumstance, but struggling with feelings of grief can make this time even more challenging. Grief counselor Chana Pfeifer, LCSW, can give you the support you need to get through the holidays with grace.
Holidays are difficult for people who’ve experienced the death of a loved one.
Any type of sound, sight and/or smell can trigger feelings of sadness, anger, emptiness, anxiety… the list goes on.
While you can’t change the situation for what it is, what you can control is your inner state of being. Does this mean not crying or feeling down? Of course not. Let yourself cry if you need it. Allow yourself to feel your feelings.
What you can control during times of grief is how you take care of your body & mind, so be realistic in your expectations during this time.
Grief can consume most of your physical and emotional energy no matter what the season. The holidays place additional demands and stress on your life. Respect what your body / mind is telling you. If you feel tired, take care of yourself as if you were physically sick. The mind and body work together.
It’s important to be aware of your limitations so you don’t overextend yourself, causing more stress. Consider changing your traditions to reduce stress. Limit social / family commitments to suit your available energy. Re-evaluate priorities and forego unnecessary activities and obligations. Keeping busy may distract you from your grief temporarily, but it may increase your stress too.
Handling the Holidays – Grief Counseling Services in Nassau County, New York.
There is no right way to move through this time of year, but it can be helpful to think about what values, traditions, and memories you want to share. Remember that grief has no expiration date— it is okay to feel how you feel.
Self-care and mindfulness are vital tools in navigating the holidays. Give yourself permission to rest. Allow feelings to come and go; the holidays don’t need to be perfect (they won’t be), so be gentle with yourself.