Marriage Counseling in Nassau County, NY

Marriage Counseling in Nassau County, NY with Chana Pfeifer, LCSW

Marriage Counseling in Nassau County, NY

One of the most important aspects of Imago relationship therapy is that it’s not about being right, proving a point, or winning an arguement.

It’s about actively listening, being heard, validation, and being in tune with our partner.

The idea behind Imago therapy is that two people can have completely different views, and it doesn’t mean that one is right and the other is wrong.

To assist the transformation of all relationships, IMAGO RELATIONSHIP THERAPY was created, which is applicable to couples, families, parents, and professionals who seek to be more effective in their life and relationships.

Learn how to connect through differences and become more present in all of your relationships.

When using Imago therapy in marriage counseling, you will learn dialogue techniques that encourages true communication and validation. If you’re looking for the best relationship therapy that can help improve your marriage for the long term, Imago counseling is a good bet.

Get Help From a Licensed Relationship Counselor

Chana Pfeifer LCSW Long IslandFOR OVER 22 YEARS, CHANA PFEIFER HAS BEEN HELPING INDIVIDUALS & COUPLES IN NY ACHIEVE GREATER COPING SKILLS TO MANAGE LIFE’S STRESSES & CHALLENGES.

(516) 592-1107 – Phone, Video, and In-Person Appointments

 

 

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Interested in marriage counseling in Nassau County? Chana assists couples with many types of disconnect:

  • Communication Issues
  • Emotional Neglect
  • Stop celebrating milestones
  • Lack of Romance
  • Resentment
  • Too Much Stress
  • Divorce
  • Infidelity
  • Not Having Fun Together
  • Parenting
  • Pre-Marital Check-Ins
  • Dealing In-Laws
  • Grief / Death of Loved Ones
  • Depression / Anxiety

Whatever form your relationship issues may take, talking with a counselor can help you ease the burden of your emotions. Contact Chana Pfiefer to set up an appointment for individual and/or couples counseling in West Hempstead, NY.

Marriage Counseling in Nassau County, New York

Nassau County is in the state of New York and located east of New York City. Nassau together with Suffolk to its east, are generally referred to as Long Island. Nassau County is the wealthiest county in New York.

A little history of Nassau County, New York:

In 1640, the Dutch controlled Manhattan, then known as New Amsterdam, when a small group of New England British arrived hoping to relocate near Oyster Bay, NY. Dutch authorities soon forced the Englishmen eastward where they eventually established the town of Southampton, NY.

In 1643, another band of adventurous New Englanders crossed the Long Island Sound from Connecticut. The colonists landed at Manhasset Bay, traversed the thick North Shore woodlands, and established the town of Hempstead near clear streams and ponds. The small number of Indians in Nassau declined rapidly through disease brought by the settlers. Today many Native American place names are a reminder of Long Island’s original residents.

In 1670, Daniel Denton reported to England that the inhabitants of Long Island “are blessed with Peace and Plenty, blessed in their Country, blessed in their fields.”

In 1683, Long Island was divided into three counties: Kings, Suffolk, and Queens. Queens included western Long Island, as well as the present day towns of Hempstead and Oyster Bay. The towns grew slowly as a quiet agricultural area through the early 1700’s, although its plains provided ideal sites for colonial horse racing tracks.

In 1898, all the western towns in Queens became part of New York City. The eastern towns–Hempstead, North Hempstead, and Oyster Bay–were excluded from Greater New York but remained part of Queens County.

On January 22nd of that year, a citizens’ meeting in Allen’s Hotel in Mineola set the stage for the secession of the three towns by proposing the creation of a new Nassau County. The name was proposed since it reflects the region’s earliest Dutch and English colonial heritage, and was used for Long Island as the “Isle of Nassau” honoring William III (1650-1702), who was King of England, Stadholder (governor) of the Netherlands, member of the House of Nassau, and great-grandson of the Prince of Orange. After a bitter battle in Albany, the law creating the new county was signed by Governor Frank S. Black on April 27th, to take effect on January 1st of 1899.

County residents elected the officials of the new county and chose the location of the county seat within one mile of the railroad station Mineola. Today, it is still an easy walk from the Mineola railroad station to county buildings actually located in adjacent Garden City.

The courthouse referendum indicates the important role the railroad played in local growth. By the end of the Civil War in 1865, tracks ran along the center, and the north and south shores of the Island. By the turn of the century, the Long Island Rail Road had become the dominant means of transportation to New York city. In 1911, the railroad completed direct rail service to Pennsylvania Station in the heart of Manhattan. The population of Nassau’s small villages along the railroad lines swelled with commuters, leaping from 55,448 in 1900 to 303,053 in 1930.

Towns located along the tracks–Port Washington, Rockville Centre, Freeport among them–experienced rapid growth as the population expanded with commuters and local businesses to support them. Trains and steamboats also brought tourists to the picturesque seaside. Waterfront communities such as Sea Cliff, founded as a Methodist camp meeting ground, blossomed. The wooded North Shore attracted prominent New Yorkers to establish vacation homes.

In the early 1900’s, up to the Depression of the early 1930’s, North Shore farmlands became the site of luxurious country estates for wealthy New Yorkers. The Long Island “Gold Coast” across the entire north shore of Nassau has left a legacy of elegance, open space, and spectacular architecture still evident today.

Even before the Civil War, noted editor William C. Bryant established his country estate, Cedarmere, in Roslyn. In 1899, telegraph company magnate Clarence Mackay erected his 650-acre Harborhill complex, also in Roslyn. In 1885, Theodore Roosevelt built Sagamore Hill at Oyster Bay. Roosevelt reveled in Nassau County life, writing, “There could be no healthier place to bring children up.” Hundreds of thousands of other Nassau residents have agreed for the better part of a century.

As commuter villages grew, the drone of engines from above shattered the peace and quiet of the Hempstead Plains. Early aviators soared overhead, testing their craft above this tremendous, flat, open prairie. Spectators thronged to two nationally significant airstrips: Roosevelt Field, a center of civilian aviation, and nearby Mitchel Field, a major army air base.

The aviation industry mushroomed in Nassau County during World War II. America’s most famous warplanes, vital to victory, were manufactured at the Grumman and Republic factories. There production continued as a major part of the county’s economic base during the post war years, climaxed during the 1960’s when the technicians at Grumman built the Lunar Module which successfully landed on the moon in July 1969.

When the guns of World War II fell silent, the boys came home and another wave of settlers transformed Nassau County. An advertisement in Newsday on May 7th, 1947, offered 2,000 homes for $60 a month in a new development built on the open Hempstead plains. By the end of the month, more than 6,500 veterans had filed applications for the new housing units of Levittown.

A giant population wave changed Nassau County, almost overnight from a rural farming community to the nation’s largest suburb. So frenetic was the growth during the 1950’s that the number of people moving into the county in a single year often surpassed the entire population of 55,448 in 1900. The population doubled in ten years from 1950 to 1960, increasing from 672,000 to 1,300,700, reaching a peak of 1,428,838 in 1970. Major redevelopment of the east/west parkway systems created just before World War II were supplemented by the creation of additional north/south parkways and the Long Island Expressway.

In the subsequent decades of the 1980’s and ’90’s, population growth ceased but the county’s economic base and business/educational/recreational infrastructure changed dramatically as every aspect matured within the changes affecting all of America. Manufacturing, particularly the aviation industry, declined while retail and service employment boomed. A dramatic increase in office construction with some buildings exceeding over 1,000,000 square feet, changed the Nassau horizon and established it as a major place of white collar employment. Nassau County family income is in the top ten percent of the nation with the number one retail sales per household. (source)

Within Nassau County, there are 2 cities, 3 towns, 64 incorporated villages and over 100 unincorporated areas such as:

Atlantic Beach, Village

Baxter Estates, Village
Bayville, Village
Bellerose, Village
Brookville, NY
Cedarhurst, Village
Centre Island, Village
Cove Neck, Village
East Hills, Village
East Rockaway, Village
East Williston, Village
Farmingdale, Village
Floral Park, Village
Flower Hill, Village
Freeport, Village
Garden City, NY
Glen Cove, City
Great Neck Estates, Village
Great Neck Plaza, Village
Great Neck, NY
Hempstead, NY
Hewlett Bay Park, Village
Hewlett Harbor, Village
Hewlett Neck, Village
Island Park, Village
Kensington, Village
Kings Point, NY
Lake Success, Village
Lattingtown, NY
Laurel Hollow, Village
Lawrence, Village
Long Beach, NY
Lynbrook, Village
Malverne, Village
Manorhaven, NY
Massapequa Park, Village
Matinecock, Village
Mill Neck, Village
Mineola, Village
Munsey Park, Village
Muttontown, NY
New Hyde Park, Village
North Hills, Village
Old Brookville, Village
Old Westbury, NY
Oyster Bay Cove, Village
Oyster Bay, Town
Plandome Heights, Village
Plandome Manor, Village
Plandome, Village
Port Washington, NY
Rockville Centre, NY
Roslyn Estates, Village
Roslyn Harbor, Village
Roslyn, Village
Russell Gardens, Village
Saddle Rock, Village
Sands Point, NY
Sea Cliff, Village
South Floral Park, Village
Stewart Manor, Village
Thomaston, Village
Upper Brookville, Village
Valley Stream, NY
Westbury, NY
Williston Park, Village
Woodsburgh, Village

Healthy couples get help when conflict around in-laws is problematic.

Counseling with Chana Pfeifer, LCSW: Conflict Around In-Laws

Are you arguing about your parents or your partner’s parents a lot?

Do you try to talk about it, but end up always arguing instead?

Are there hurt feelings / unsaid things piling up on either side?

If so, you may be caught up in a negative cycle. It may be time to get help for your relationship before the hurts start to pile up. Healthy couples get help when conflict around in-laws becomes problematic.

Regardless of what’s causing the friction, couples report that long-term stress is a consequence of having difficulties with family members. There starts to be a  dread of family gatherings for the distress and exchanges they can invite.

What can you do? Establish boundaries early.

You may need to start out with gentle reminders, as things are unlikely to change overnight.

This can be done compassionately, but firmly. Overall, your approach needs to be strict in consistently enforcing the boundaries you’ve drawn. If the situation allows, be friendly, tactful, straightforward, and respectful. Think of how you’d handle a disagreeable situation with a co-worker.

If, however, your in-laws continue to disrespect your boundaries and wishes, you may need to approach them with a little less tact. Think of a boss putting an employee in his place. No matter what, establish boundaries early.

A lot of couples will not draw their boundaries until they have to. You can avoid a great deal of heartache, disappointment, and distress by letting your limits be known early on.

I would love to help you sort through in-law difficulties in your relationship so you can have harmony within your family.

Let’s see how we can help you resolve these dilemmas and renew the love, trust, connection you long to have.

Contact me for more information on therapy today.

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Marriage Counseling Workshop August 2019

Give your relationship a gift with this marriage counseling workshop! Let’s enhance our marriages within our homes so we can merit to build the בית־נאמן.

August 4 & August 6
10 am – 4 pm

Machon Basya Rochel Simcha Hall
137 Lawrence Ave. Lawrence, NY 11559

Join us for a marriage counseling workshop that will include:

  • Tools to experience your spouse with healing, loving & empathetic exercises
  • Individualized attention
  • Hands on approach guided by excellent facilitators
  • Personal and completely confidential

Don’t wait to renew your love and your chemistry for one another!

Call or email today to reserve your spot:

Chana Pfeifer, LCSW, Certified Imago Therapist

(516) 592-1107
TheHappierMe.LCSW@gmail.com

$350 per couple. Lunch included.

Attending a marriage counseling workshop will reinforce your desire to remain committed to yourself, your family, or another person. It will show that you really want to learn how to reopen channels of communication.


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Discover strategies to overcome conflict and break through.
Identify your relationship’s specific strengths and how to build on them together.
Rekindle the love that’s been buried by the day-to-day struggles of life.

If your relationship is distressed, our Long Island marriage counseling workshop will provide you with a greater understanding of your relationship, a way to use your challenges as the opportunities they are for deeper connection, and a road map for repair.

Topics discussed in pre-marital counseling sessions:

Examples of some of the topics that are discussed during pre-marital counseling sessions include:

  • Finances
  • Parenting styles
  • Communication
  • Decision making
  • Roles in the marriage

(We’ll cover these and more in my pre-marital counseling sessions and workshops.)

Create mutual goals with your partner and resolutions for your marriage.

You and your partner may have different ideas of what specifically will mean you’ve achieved a happy and successful marriage. By discussing beforehand what you both hope to get out of your marriage, you can determine a few resolutions that combine what you both want. This gives you common goals to work toward that you both believe in.

Deal with conflict in a healthy way.

Even the happiest couples experience stress and conflict, and it’s essential to learn how to deal with these constructively as you prepare for the wedding and in the years to come.

Pre-marital counseling isn’t a compatibility test or a gauntlet to run.

It’s an educational process designed to support your relationship by providing the tools and coaching you’ll need to build a fulfilling life together in the years to come.

For more info. about pre-marital counseling, please call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer at TheHappierMe.LCSW@gmail.com

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Pre-Marital Counseling Check-In

Premarital Counseling LINYLEARN TOOLS TO CREATE A SOLID FOUNDATION OF RELATIONSHIP

Pre-marital counseling with Chana Pfeifer, LCSW, Certified Imago Therapist.

Sunday, July 28, 2019, 9 am – 11 am

Anoz Spa Boutique 281 Nassau Blvd., Garden City South

Register before 7/12, $50 per couple.
Register after 7/12, $100 per couple.

PRE-MARITAL COUNSELING CHECK-IN:  LIMITED SPOTS AVAILABLE

Pre-Marital Counseling Goals:

 Learn a new way to talk and listen
 Uncover opportunities for emotional growth in relationship
 Practice tools
 Share at your comfort level

Important Topics to Discuss Before the Wedding:

 The way I would like our relationship with our parents to look like
 How I feel about discussing our issues with them
 How I feel about having children, how many I would like
 My thoughts about childcare, parenting, what I like, what I don’t like
 How I feel about money, saving, spending, debts, credit report
 Spending our free time together / apart
 How I imagine to divide household chores
 Fun activities I want to plan together
 I like to be home versus I want to go out (and travel)
 Where I envision living permanently
 A topic we have NOT discussed that I want to bring up is…

Connection:

 The key to connecting is safety
 What does safety feel like?
 Focus on creating safety for each other
 Romantic love is the joy of being connected

For additional information about attending, please call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer at TheHappierMe.LCSW@gmail.com.

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Jealousy: Smothered by Love

First, a quick note – Jealousy and envy are different concepts, despite the terms often being used interchangeably in daily speech.

Envy is the state of desiring something that another has. Jealousy is desiring to keep something or someone all to yourself, and involves a third party.

For example, if you wish you could sleep 16 hours a day and sit in the window, you are envious of your cat. However, if you don’t want other people to pet your cat because you feel he belongs to you or it will undermine your bond with your cat, you are jealous of your cat. The following piece deals with the role of jealousy in relationships.

A certain level of jealousy can be normal in a relationship, especially for individuals who have had issues with past partners failing to be faithful. Indeed, many people believe that it is a sign of love, and evolutionary psychologists consider it to be a valuable emotion that can signal danger to an important relationship.

However, jealousy can undermine a trusting relationship and leave your partner feeling overwhelmed and trapped, limiting your ability to have a healthy relationship.

Many relationship therapists report that romantic jealousy is a leading cause of their clients’ relationship problems.

couples therapy Long Island / jealousy issuesStudies have shown that feelings of being jealous can be linked to low self-esteem, dependence on one’s partner, feelings of inadequacy, an anxious attachment style, or even neuroticism.

Absent a history of behaviors that warrant a partner’s jealousy, you should know that a partner’s jealousy reflects their insecurities, not any adequacy of yours. When confronted with unwarranted jealousy, a healthy, relationship-building strategy is to assure your partner that you remain interested in and attracted to them.

If you find yourself feeling jealousy toward your partner, stop and re-evaluate your behaviors. Work on building your self-confidence in order to feel more secure in your relationship. Avoid going through your partner’s social media or electronic devices—your mind can begin to draw patterns and extrapolate details creating things to be jealous of that aren’t really there.

Communicating calmly with your partner, in a manner directed at developing a solution to your jealousy, can also be an effective strategy.  

The great irony of unwarranted jealousy is that it can drive an otherwise-satisfied partner away. Jealous behaviors, left unchecked, can undermine the trust in a relationship and hinder the ability to express love. Taken to extremes, it can lead to angry, even violent outbursts.

Jealousy is not limited to romantic relationships. It can also arise between friends or siblings, and can endanger harmony within the family unit.

If you believe that jealousy—whether yours, your partner’s, or otherwise—is negatively affecting your relationship, professional therapy can help guide a productive conversation to address these potentially problematic feelings within your relationship.

For additional information about counseling, please call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana at TheHappierMe.LCSW@gmail.com

Dealing with Jealousy in Relationships

Dealing with Jealousy in RelationshipsIf you are in a relationship, it is natural to feel a little jealous at times, especially if you have very strong feelings for your partner.

Occasional jealousy is okay and may even add a little excitement and zest to the relationship. But what to do when this jealousy becomes more frequent, intense and even overwhelming?

Today more than ever before, people are afraid of being rejected, not accepted, not being loved and worry about losing people they care for. These feelings of loss are natural. Yet, when thoughts and feelings of jealousy are extreme, they stem partially as a result of insecurities. When fear lessens, so does jealousy.

Most of us have felt it at one time or another. It could be a mild annoyance or a fire inside you, consuming you, making you feel like you might explode. Although it is a common emotional reaction when a person is feeling threatened, jealousy is one of biggest relationship destroyers out there.

The foundation of any healthy and happy relationship is trust and respect. A person struggling with jealousy is unable to trust the person they are with or show respect for them as an individual or their boundaries.

Overtime this behavior will destroy the feelings of love and affection that once existed. It will also likely cause repeated arguing and a need for one partner to prove themselves and their loyalty over and over again. This can be exhausting and prevent a relationship from growing and establishing a solid foundation.

If you have found that jealousy is a problem in your relationship, whether it is you that are jealous or your partner, it can be painful for both of you. Getting beyond it will take patience, communication and changing of beliefs.

Jealousy in Relationships: If overcoming jealous feelings and behaviors on your own isn’t working, don’t discount seeking help!