Tag: couples communication

Gift Ideas if Your Partner’s Love Language is Acts of Service

A theory conceived by Dr. Gary Chapman in 1995, a “love language” is the way in which people give and recognize love. According to this theory, there are 5 love languages: Words Of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. Although you can have elements of all five within your personality, for the most part, people speak primarily one love language.

If your partner’s love language is Acts of Service, here are some gift ideas to help make them feel truly loved and appreciated.

make them their morning coffee/tea/drink

Bringing your love a cup of their favorite beverage in the morning is a sweet way of starting the day with an act of service. This sets the tone for the rest of the day based off of a positive interaction between you two. A small gesture of serving one another shows that we actively think of and care for our partner.

Do Their Chores

Someone whose love language is Acts of Service is really going to love a gift in which their partner is providing an action to help them out in daily tasks. So give them a break with chores! Wash the dishes or tidy up a room that needs cleaning. Anything that helps your partner relax is a gift worth getting. It’s all about showing up for them when they need help.

prepare a meal

We eat everyday, and that takes planning. Take the initiative and prepare a meal for your spouse. It will make them feel nurtured. You don’t need to cook if you can’t, order something for takeout that you know they love to eat.

Give Them A Day Off

Giving your partner a day to themselves is considered the ultimate service in a relationship because it shows you respect their need for individual time, prioritize their well-being, and are willing to take on extra responsibilities to ensure they have a completely free day to recharge and pursue their own interests, completely unburdened by household tasks or other obligations.

The reality is, we all don’t love the same way. And, if we’re going to make our relationships work, we need to figure out how we like to be loved and how our partner likes to receive love.

It’s not necessary that we speak the same language when it comes to showing love, but it is necessary to understand each other’s needs.

Follow Chana Pfeifer, LCSW on Instagram

Gift Ideas if Your Partner’s Love Language is Words of Affirmation:

Your Partner’s Love Language is Words of Affirmation?
Below are 4 ways to show your partner love through words.

If you want to give your spouse a gift, consider their preferred love language and give them something that expresses your love in a way that’s meaningful to them.

To discover your person’s love language, observe the way they express love to you, analyze what they complain about most often, and also what they request from you most often.

People tend to naturally give love in the way they prefer to receive love. Better communication between couples can be accomplished when one can demonstrate caring to the other person in the love language the recipient understands.

THE FIVE “LOVE LANGUAGES” ARE:
  1. words of affirmation
  2. quality time
  3. gifts
  4. acts of service
  5. physical touch

Gift Ideas if Your Partner’s Love Language is Words of Affirmation:

Write them a love letter: A simple and free way to express words of affirmation is to pull out a piece of paper and write a love letter. It doesn’t have to be a long letter, but it should be meaningful. Express your love and appreciation for who your spouse is and what they bring to your life. Details go a long way!

Pick out the perfect card: Writer’s block? Get a pre-written card that emulates how you feel. You can find some that are sweet & sentimental, others that are inappropriate and naughty, and many of the best ones have some kind of joke involved.

Create a playlist: Mix tapes and CDs were the popular romantic gift once upon a time. Now you can create a playlist using an app like Spotify. The benefit to an app versus the physical version is that you can add as many songs to it as you’d like, and continue to add to it as you find more. Create a playlist filled with songs that remind you of the one you love, then share it with them. This is a fun way to make it something they treasure and use forever!

Compliment jar: Fill a jar with notes of affirmations and compliments for them to pick from when they need a boost. These cute daily reminders are a great way to stay appreciative of each another, and goes one step beyond a casual text message.

Follow Chana Pfeifer, LCSW on Instagram

Tips for Couples Communication During the Holidays

During the holidays, couples communication should focus on open and honest dialogue, active listening, setting clear boundaries, expressing needs, and checking in with each other regularly to navigate potential stressors and ensure both partners feel heard and supported throughout the festive season.

Key aspects of good couples communication during the holidays:

Open and honest conversation: Discuss expectations, potential stressors, and preferred holiday activities with your partner to avoid misunderstandings.

Active listening: Pay full attention to your partner’s feelings and concerns without interrupting, and try to understand their perspective.

Expressing needs: Clearly communicate your own needs and desires regarding family visits, gift-giving, and holiday activities.

Setting boundaries: Establish limits on what you are comfortable with during the holidays, including time spent with certain family members or social events.

Checking in regularly: Make time to check in with your partner throughout the holiday season to see how they are feeling and address any concerns.

Compromise and flexibility: Be willing to adjust plans and expectations as needed to accommodate your partner’s needs.

Stress-reducing conversations: If feeling overwhelmed, have open conversations about managing holiday stress together.

What to avoid during holiday communication:

Making assumptions: Don’t assume your partner knows what you are thinking or feeling.

Being critical or judgmental: Focus on understanding your partner’s perspective rather than criticizing their choices.

Ignoring issues: Don’t sweep problems under the rug, address concerns promptly and openly.

Effective communication is the foundation of any strong relationship.

It allows partners to express their needs, understand each other, and build trust, ultimately leading to a deeper connection and the ability to navigate challenges together.

Chana Pfeifer, LCSW, is seeing clients virtually and in-person in West Hempstead, Long Island, New York. Contact her here.

Follow Chana Pfeifer on Facebook