How can a therapist mediate a married couple’s problems?

A therapist can mediate a married couple’s problems by using various techniques and strategies to facilitate effective communication, identify and address underlying issues, and promote a stronger, healthier relationship.

Here are some ways a therapist can help married couples:

Initial Steps:

  • Establish a neutral and supportive environment.
  • Set clear goals and expectations for therapy.
  • Conduct individual and joint sessions to understand each partner’s perspective.

Communication Strategies:

  • Active listening: Encourage each partner to listen attentively to the other, focusing on understanding rather than responding.
  • Reflective listening: Repeat back what each partner has said to ensure understanding and show empathy.
  • I-statements: Teach couples to express feelings and thoughts using “I” statements instead of “you” statements, which can come across as accusatory.
  • Non-defensive communication: Help couples learn to respond without becoming defensive.

Identifying and Addressing Underlying Issues:

  • Identify patterns and cycles: Recognize negative patterns and cycles that contribute to conflicts.
  • Explore underlying emotions: Help couples understand and address underlying emotions, such as anger, hurt, or fear.
  • Uncover unresolved conflicts: Address unresolved issues and resentments.
  • Examine individual and shared values: Explore values, goals, and expectations.

Problem-Solving and Conflict Resolution:

  • Collaborative problem-solving: Encourage couples to work together to find solutions.
  • Conflict resolution strategies: Teach effective conflict resolution techniques, such as compromise, forgiveness, and apologies.
  • Develop a conflict resolution plan: Create a plan for managing conflicts in the future.

Building Intimacy and Connection:

  • Emotional intimacy: Foster emotional closeness through vulnerability and empathy.
  • Communication exercises: Assign exercises to promote communication, such as sharing gratitude or appreciation.
  • Date nights: Encourage regular date nights to strengthen bonding.

Therapist’s Role:

  • Facilitate: Guide conversations and ensure both partners are heard.
  • Educate: Provide information on effective communication, conflict resolution, and relationship skills.
  • Support: Offer emotional support and encouragement.
  • Accountability: Hold couples accountable for their actions and commitments.

By using these techniques and strategies, a therapist can help a married couple:

  • Improve communication and conflict resolution skills.
  • Strengthen emotional intimacy and connection.
  • Address underlying issues and resentments.
  • Develop a more fulfilling and satisfying relationship.

Keep in mind that every therapist has their unique approach, and the specific techniques used may vary depending on the therapist’s orientation and the couple’s needs.

For more information, contact Chana Pfeifer, LCSW in Long Island.

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Brief Meditation Before Marital Counseling with Chana Pfeifer

Brief Meditation Before Imago Marital Counseling with Chana Pfeifer, LCSW in Long Island, New York

Before starting Imago relationship therapy with a married couple in NY, Chana Pfeifer gives them a couple of minutes to breathe, connect, and center themselves into the present moment. This gives both people a chance to ground themselves and get into their intentions with the therapy session.

Brief Meditation:  One thing I appreciate about you as my partner/spouse/husband/wife is…..

Awareness and communication are what makes a connected relationship work. If you feel you are having difficulty communicating with your partner, it would be beneficial to have a therapist guide you in the process.

Sometimes, couples become so emotionally disconnected and stuck in negative patterns that it is difficult to talk openly and honestly. If this feels like you, then reaching out to a professional social worker could be a great step toward having a connected relationship.

Chana Pfeifer is currently seeing clients through telehealth virtual platforms and in-person in Nassau County, Long Island.

For additional information on counseling, call (516) 592-1107

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Healthy couples get help when conflict around in-laws is problematic.

Counseling with Chana Pfeifer, LCSW: Conflict Around In-Laws

Are you arguing about your parents or your partner’s parents a lot?

Do you try to talk about it, but end up always arguing instead?

Are there hurt feelings / unsaid things piling up on either side?

If so, you may be caught up in a negative cycle. It may be time to get help for your relationship before the hurts start to pile up. Healthy couples get help when conflict around in-laws becomes problematic.

Regardless of what’s causing the friction, couples report that long-term stress is a consequence of having difficulties with family members. There starts to be a  dread of family gatherings for the distress and exchanges they can invite.

What can you do? Establish boundaries early.

You may need to start out with gentle reminders, as things are unlikely to change overnight.

This can be done compassionately, but firmly. Overall, your approach needs to be strict in consistently enforcing the boundaries you’ve drawn. If the situation allows, be friendly, tactful, straightforward, and respectful. Think of how you’d handle a disagreeable situation with a co-worker.

If, however, your in-laws continue to disrespect your boundaries and wishes, you may need to approach them with a little less tact. Think of a boss putting an employee in his place. No matter what, establish boundaries early.

A lot of couples will not draw their boundaries until they have to. You can avoid a great deal of heartache, disappointment, and distress by letting your limits be known early on.

I would love to help you sort through in-law difficulties in your relationship so you can have harmony within your family.

Let’s see how we can help you resolve these dilemmas and renew the love, trust, connection you long to have.

Contact me for more information on therapy today.

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Marriage Counseling after an Affair

infidelity counseling Long IslandThe effects of infidelity can be devastating and put significant strain on any relationship. When you find out your partner has been having an affair, it can be incredibly difficult to regain a feeling of trust or security. Moreover, infidelity can lead to anxiety, depression, anger and a myriad of unpleasant emotions.

These effects can make daily life more difficult, and affect your ability to focus or feel joy.

The partner who cheats is also likely to deal with the distress of infidelity. This may include anxiety, depression, and a severe feeling of guilt. Unfortunately, in some cases, cheating can evolve into a continuous cycle that the individual feels is difficult to end. Partners who cheat carry the burden of hidden truth on their shoulders, posing barriers to communication with their significant other.

Infidelity not only threatens the security of the relationship, but it poses distressing and often painful emotional effects.

Recovering from such effects are difficult and require effort on the part of both partners. Counseling can be an effective way to start this process. The professional guidance of a counselor can help you navigate and mediate discussions as a couple.

Through counseling, couples can discuss their expectations and fears in a neutral environment. In addition to addressing the initial reactions to betrayal, a therapist can help you understand what you’re feeling and why. Not only is it important to recognize and experience those feelings, it can be healing as well.

Therapy provides an ideal space to talk about the events of infidelity, helping both partners to understand the factors that may surround it.

Effective communication can be one of the most difficult, yet helpful things to repair during such a time of distress. The disconnect in communication after an affair can be mended through guided talk therapy.

For the individual who is dealing with the pain of such an unexpected event, therapy can help build healthy coping skills for the initial trauma that will continue into the future. Patience and mindfulness can become key parts of this process, as well.

Chana can help you gain stability and get in touch with your emotional sensitivities after an affair.

Although some may decide that they may not want to continue in the relationship, counseling can help you develop a plan to move on in a peaceful manner. If a couple does decide that the relationship can be mended, therapy provides a structured, productive environment to do so.

Both partners’ needs can be considered while trust can be restored through a holistic, mindful approach. Chana Pfeifer offers healing treatment from the comfort of your home or in-office while following all social distancing guidelines.

If you have experienced or are currently facing the distressing effects of infidelity, don’t hesitate to reach out today.

Marriage Counseling Workshop August 2019

Give your relationship a gift with this marriage counseling workshop! Let’s enhance our marriages within our homes so we can merit to build the בית־נאמן.

August 4 & August 6
10 am – 4 pm

Machon Basya Rochel Simcha Hall
137 Lawrence Ave. Lawrence, NY 11559

Join us for a marriage counseling workshop that will include:

  • Tools to experience your spouse with healing, loving & empathetic exercises
  • Individualized attention
  • Hands on approach guided by excellent facilitators
  • Personal and completely confidential

Don’t wait to renew your love and your chemistry for one another!

Call or email today to reserve your spot:

Chana Pfeifer, LCSW, Certified Imago Therapist

(516) 592-1107
TheHappierMe.LCSW@gmail.com

$350 per couple. Lunch included.

Attending a marriage counseling workshop will reinforce your desire to remain committed to yourself, your family, or another person. It will show that you really want to learn how to reopen channels of communication.


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Discover strategies to overcome conflict and break through.
Identify your relationship’s specific strengths and how to build on them together.
Rekindle the love that’s been buried by the day-to-day struggles of life.

If your relationship is distressed, our Long Island marriage counseling workshop will provide you with a greater understanding of your relationship, a way to use your challenges as the opportunities they are for deeper connection, and a road map for repair.