Processing grief due to the death of a spouse or partner can be a turbulent journey of emotional, psychological, and physical pain. The grieving process is different for every individual and it is essential that one has the opportunity to process the entire spectrum of emotions. Grief counseling can be a healthy way to cope with any emotions that may come up.
Constant shifting of emotional tides can be overwhelming in one’s delicate state following a loss.
Although individual experiences of grief can differ for everyone, the process has often been categorized into stages, most commonly that of Kübler-Ross (1969) which outlines them as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Most often, the lines surrounding these stages are blurred and can incorporate many complex emotions not indicated in the model. Traumatic circumstances surrounding the death can be additional barriers to the healing process.
Initially, it is normal to be unwilling to accept that a loved one has died, feeling emotionally numb, or avoiding things related to the grief. One may feel anger directed towards life, oneself, others, and the loss itself. The bargaining stage can bring about a cyclic state of questioning about alternative outcomes or what could have been done to prevent the death. Depression manifests itself in various ways and is often accompanied by deep sadness, hopelessness, and isolation. These are normal reactions to loss.
Recognizing and processing feelings is necessary to progress to eventual acceptance. Unfortunately, it can be difficult to express one’s distress to close friends or family members. One might feel a sense of loneliness and detachment. Since this can lead to unhealthy repression, it is greatly beneficial to have a trained professional to talk to.
Persistent grief, that seems to worsen instead of improve over a long period of time, can be greatly detrimental to one’s health. Some characteristics of this typically include a separation from one’s identity, overwhelming guilt and longing, total denial and refusal of reality, or a desire to die so that one can reconnect with the deceased. In these cases, it is especially critical to seek therapy.
Counseling can provide judgement-free support to process pain and alleviate deep internal chaos associated with feelings of grief and the mourning process.
A counselor can help explain and validate difficult thoughts and emotions following the loss of a spouse/friend/family member. Therapy facilitates one’s ability to focus on positive memories of the loved one while employing healthy coping strategies.
For additional info. about grief counseling, call (516) 592-1107 or email Chana Pfeifer at TheHappierMe.LCSW@gmail.com.
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