Counseling for Adult Children of Narcissist Parents with Chana Pfeifer, LCSW
You may have recently come to the realization, or are beginning to suspect, that you have a parent that suffers from narcissistic personality disorder.
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a severe condition. People with narcissistic personality disorder are emotionally damaged individuals & incapable of empathy.
They have a need to be in control at all times and demand you accept their version of the world. They will act as a dictator to keep control and that depends on you not having any opinions about it to the contrary.
Narcissistic rage is a known characteristic of people with NPD. Gaslighting or shaming are common tools to keep you compliant.
Although they can be keenly aware of another person’s reactions, this doesn’t translate to them actually feeling empathy, but rather using the new information received for further manipulation. Narcissists will often cast themselves as the victim as well. This serves as a passive aggressive way to steer the story back to them while denying your experience. They do not admit having responsibility for anything and any blame is deflected onto something or someone else.
Being the child of narcissist parents have specific challenges while growing up.
A narcissist’s way of overshadowing everything teaches a young child that there is no space for their own feelings. This often leads children to repress, distrust, and devalue themselves.
Narcissist parents cause enough confusion to blur your perception, making it more difficult to come out from under their umbrella of influence. It can be quite traumatizing (well into adulthood) until you can confirm your own reality. It may feel overwhelming when the veil of manipulation by a narcissist starts to lift..
Digesting these new insights is a process & best done with the help of a professional counselor, who can help steer you in the right direction of wellness.
Growing up under the shadow of narcissist parents, you have devised survival behaviors that you deemed necessary as a child. These become ingrained patterns of behavior and continue into your adult life as unconscious beliefs.
These learned habits can attract you to new relationships with similar narcissistic dynamics as your childhood. You may not be overtly aware of it because it just feels ‘natural’. The more conscious you become of the behavior patterns of narcissists, and your reactive survival patterns around them, the more you can direct your life in ways that are most healthy for you.
Healing from a parent with NPD is best when you have help rather than struggling all by yourself.
Trying to gather the confusing pieces and finding your way toward emotional freedom can feel like a daunting task.
You do not have do it alone.
Ironically, when you most could use a hand can be the hardest time to reach out for one. Please make the effort on behalf of yourself. A professional trained specifically in narcissist personality disorder can help guide you with focused strategies to carry on from current and lingering narcissistic abuse.
Having support is paramount. Support with a full understanding of the confusion, sadness or anger that coming out of the shadows of a narcissist can invoke is vital for your success. Help is available. Having a counselor by your side will help you find your strength and arm you with practical tools for you to heal and thrive.
Professional support provides the clarity necessary to differentiate where your own boundaries lie and how you can maintain them. Reach out today and we will walk together toward the bright and promising life you deserve.
