As a certified Imago therapist, I love what I do. My specialty is relationships. I deal with a variety of people, whether it is navigating couples’ challenging relationships, separation, blended families, or geriatrics. I feel the variety of many issues keeps my skills sharp.
Imago Relationship Therapy for Couples: new ways to communicate.
You won’t always know what your partner needs, nor can they fully know what you need without communicating it.
Through Imago Relationship Therapy sessions with Chana, couples will learn new (and affective) ways to communicate so that both partners’ realities can be fully expressed and understood.
IMAGO RELATIONSHIP THERAPY TEACHES COUPLES HOW TO:
- examine each childhood upbringing and how this has formed their ‘Imago’
- resolve conflict by understanding/empathizing each’s needs/desires
- create a successful and gratifying plan for the future for you as a couple
When Long Island couples sit in a therapy session, they will engage in Imago Dialogue.
Couples are guided through the process of learning ways of expressing themselves so that things become better for both involved.
This video, “Am I Hearing You Correctly?” is about receiving.
A Long Island couple takes cues from social worker Chana Pfeifer on how to use Imago Relationship Therapy techniques to effectively listen to one another.
This type of therapy teaches couples to lead with compassion and communicate their needs while not blaming one another for the problems in the relationship.
These receiver instructions are taken from Imago Relationship Therapy:
“What I heard you say is…”
When your partner (the sender) pauses, repeat back everything you heard them say, without judging, critiquing, analyzing, or adding/taking away from it. Reflect back with a tone that mirrors that of the sender.
Paraphrasing is fine but be careful to avoid sending while in the receiver role. The magic of dialogue lies in allowing the sender to be completely in charge of where the conversation goes. Once you ask a question or insert a comment or tone of voice not sent by the sender, the dialogue is now about your agenda, not theirs.
Check it out:
“Am I hearing you correctly?” or “Did I get you?”
Check to make sure you correctly mirrored all that your partner said. If your partner clarifies or corrects something, listen, then mirror again. Continue until your partner says you got it.
Ask if there’s more:
“Is there more?” or “Tell me more.”
If your partner adds more, mirror, and then ask, “Is there more?” again. Repeat until your partner says there’s no more.
Then summarize:
“I think the gist of what you’re saying is…”
When done, check for completeness:
“Did I get it all?”
Mirror any additions your partner makes.
Chana Pfeifer is a licensed clinical social worker and Imago relationship therapist offering individual adult and couples counseling in Long Island, New York.
Conversational Dialogue in Imago Relationship Therapy
Here is an example of how conversational dialogue in Imago Relationship Therapy works.
This type of dialogue can be applied to appreciations, like in this video, and also for dealing with disagreements. It can be used for couples and also for any type of relationship.
One thing I appreciate about you as a partner / spouse / significant other:
First, Leora makes an appointment with Igor:
“I’d like to dialogue with you about an appreciation I have for you, is now a good time?”
After Leora finishes her statement, Igor repeats what he hears back to her:
“What I’m hearing you say is _______________________. Did I get that?
Leora then has a chance to say whether or not Igor received her message the right way. She responds with a yes or no.
Igor then asks:
Is there more?”
This gives Leora a chance to elaborate if she feels there’s more to say.
Igor then repeats the new information back to confirm that he heard her message correctly.
That’s about it in regards to the basics of conversational dialogue in Imago Relationship Therapy.
This lets the speakers feel heard and the listeners learn how to fully hear what their partner is saying. After the speaker is done, the roles switch and now the listener has a chance to talk.
Imago Relationship Therapy Specialists
SERVING NASSAU & SUFFOLK COUNTY ON LONG ISLAND
The Happier Me Imago Therapy
Chana Pfeifer,
LCSW
422 Berrywood Ct.
West Hempstead, NY 11552
(516) 592-1107
The Huntington Relationship Center
Robin Newman,
LCSW
148 E. Main Street, Ste. 102, Huntington, NY 11743
(631) 421-4701
The Holistic Counseling Center
David Weber,
LCSW
565 Rt 25A, Suite LR4, Miller Place, NY 11764
(631) 248-1727